Two Is Better Than One
by AmberDoodle87
Summary: Brooke Nichols left her hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina for a new start, and life. Little did she know Michael Jackson would be the one to give it to her.
1. Chapter 1: Unluckily Lucky

**Auhor's Note: **

**Hello all. Yes, I know what your thinking. Not another Michael Jackson story. I'm sorry but yes, I couldnt help it. This is one that I have been writing and posting on another site, and decided I should put it up here too. So Here it is. The premiss is if Michael and the Jackson 5 were big in 2009ish. This starts up just as Michael is making his solo break :D Enjoy and review please.**

**Chapter 1: Unluckily Lucky**

_**"Luck...I dont believe in Luck."**_

* * *

I sit in a darkened corner, a few tendrils of my dark hair falling into my face as I write out the answers for my psychology class, my I-pod blaring in my ears. An impatient tapping on my shoulders has me rolling my eyes as I turn around pulling my ear buds out.

" What?" I ask, turning to look at who is interrupting the few moments of peace that I have found to study and finish my homework which is due, tomorrow. So I may have procrastinated a bit, but it doesn't help that I have been working ten hour nights all week.

" Brooke, can you please take the rest of my shift, the babysitter called and Jack is running a fever and screaming for me," my coworker Anna asks, her dark brown eyes pleading with me. I groan as I look at the clock. A quarter to eleven. My shift is almost over. I sigh hiding my annoyance.

" Sure Anna, go on home," I say stiffly accepting her thankful hug.

" Thank you Brooke, you're a life saver. By the way table four is waiting on their drinks," she calls to me as she rushes off to the kitchen. I roll my eyes as I close my notebook in my psychology book shoving it under the bar. I wipe my hands over my crisp black shirt making sure that its tucked into my black dress pants.

" Hey James, do you have the drinks for table four?" I ask, leaning over the bar smiling at the bartender.

" Ahh, table four," James says, his Brazilian accent rolling into the air. " Si. We have four vodka sours and a mineral water." I take the tray from James, smiling at him.

" At least they have a responsible member of the party," I murmur as I walk through the restaurant. Working at The Whisper Lounge in The Grove has its upsides. Its an extended family that I didn't have a year ago when I moved here. Downsides, the flocks of people who come in hopes of catching a glimpse of a celebrity. Needless to say I have served my fair share of the 'socially elite' and most of them were extremely gracious and big tippers, but for every wonderful experience I have three horrible ones to overshadow it. I walk through the low and comforting lighting of the restaurant fixing a smile to my lips.

" Hello, my name is Brooke, and I'm taking over for Anna," I say, stopping in front of the table. I look up, smiling at the customers. The resemblance is obvious and I know without having to ask that they are all brothers, all five of them. " I have four vodka sours and a mineral water." the four men closest to me gladly take the drinks from me, and I look up noticing the one sitting in the corner a shy smile on his lips. " Here's your mineral water." I reach lean over the table setting the glass down in front of the quietest member of the bunch when a hand runs over my backside. I narrow my eyes momentarily, having to bite back the scathing remarks that threaten to spill out of my mouth. It's part of the job, and seeing as how I have tuition to pay I cant afford to lose it, no matter how disgustingly presumptuous customers can be.

" Where you from honey?," one of them asks, and I fix a smile to my face.

" Wilmington, North Carolina," I answer, the accent to my voice growing thicker at just the mention of my hometown.

" Ooo, we have a southern belle on our hands gentlemen, why don't you stay with us sugar, have a drink?" the oldest of the group asks, his wide hands motioning to his lap.

" Ahh, I would ya'll, but I cant. I'm on the clock, and underage," I say, taking a small step away from the table. " Can I get you guys anything else, dinner maybe?"

" How about you, for dessert," another one offers, the glint in his eyes is the same as many other male patrons I have dealt with.

" TJ, cool it man," a soft voice pipes up from the corner of the table, and I smile softly.

" Sorry, just trying to have a little fun," the one I now know is TJ says holding his hands up.

" We're fine," the one who spoke up for me says, his eyes meeting mine. I stare at him for a second, something stirring in me. His dark eyes swimming in the lights. A feeling of deja'vu clouds my head, like I've seen him before, somewhere. I nod my head, turning away catching the soft murmur of voices behind me.

" What was her problem? Doesn't she know who we are?" the voices echo behind me and I shake my head. In a town where everyone every one is a _'somebody' _I am probably one of the most clueless people out there. I couldn't pick out most celebrities from everyday people if my life depended on it. An hour later I walk by the table noticing its empty. I roll my eyes when I pick up the money that is tucked neatly in the corner. No tip, go figure. I lift glasses dropping them gently into a tub when I notice a folded hundred under the glass of mineral water, a small slip of paper under it.

'_Sorry about my brothers, you were great Brooke.-MJ' _

I smile softly as I tuck the folded paper into my back pocket. At least one of them had some sort of manners to speak of.

The feel of the cool air whispering through my car window makes me smile as I drive home, Los Angeles sky lights rolling past me as flip through radio stations trying to find something to fill the silence. My body and mind exhausted, and I smile knowing that tomorrow I will get to sleep in since I don't have class until two. I turn off the radio finding that nothing catches my attention the silence leaving me to think. Two years ago when I left North Carolina, I never imagined that this is where I would be. Los Angeles wasn't exactly my first choice. Working to put myself through school. Again, not a choice. But I learned quickly that sometimes you have to do whatever menial work you can to get what you want from life. Thought I am perhaps I'm an over achiever, double majoring in psychology and music. I was shocked when I got into UCLA, not so shocked when my parents refused to help me. Then again the latter wasn't such a surprise, its not like my parents were ever really there to help me. I pull into the parking garage of my apartment complex, shaking myself from my dark thoughts, the promise of falling into my soft bed quickening my steps. I slip into my apartment quietly shutting the door behind me. My eyes adjust quickly to the darkness as I tiptoe to my room. I drop my bag with a small thud as I unbutton my black shirt. I slide it off, running a finger subconsciously over the long jagged scar right over my left breast before slipping into bed. My heart hammers in my chest as old memories float to the surface and I reach over opening my pill bottle easily swallowing a sleeping pill. At least this way, the nightmares won't haunt me tonight.

* * *

" Life as I know it is over!" the voice of my best friend and roommate startles me from sleep as she throws herself on my bed.

" Go away," I groan, pulling a pillow over my head.

" Brooke, you don't understand. J5 broke up. MJ is pursuing a solo career and lets face it he is the talent, this cant be happening," Olivia commiserates as she shakes me. I sit up slowly, staring at her. Her pale skin shimmers with the morning light seeping into my bedroom, her blonde hair in a messy bun. Her green eyes sparkle at me as she pouts.

" Olivia, I had a crappy day yesterday, psychology homework to finish, and I was felt up by an overly enthusiastic and egotistical wanna-be, so I am sorry if I don't share in your mourning over a boy band that should have quiet while they were ahead, five years ago," I growl out, smacking her with a pillow.

" Well aren't we just Susie Sunshine this morning. Come on Brooke you know I'm like the biggest fan of J5 in the world, this bothers me," she says, her voice growing whiny. I roll my eyes as I nod my head.

" I know," I say patting her back as I stifle a yawn. I never understood Olivia's obsession with the band, I mean sure their songs are catchy but there wasn't any meaning to them. If I'm going to take the time to listen to a song I at least want their to be a message in it.

" See look," she says, slapping a magazine into my hands. I glance over the magazine my eyes drawing to a familiar face.

" Holy shit," I proclaim dropping the magazine like its on fire.

" What?" Olivia asks, staring at me like I have lost my mind.

" I saw them last night. They were at the restaurant his brother is the one who felt me up," I say, shaking my head in disbelief as I point to a picture of MJ.

" What! And your just telling me this now?" she asks, looking at me in disbelief. I run my hands over my hair, shaking my head.

" I didn't realize who they were until I saw this picture," I say, shaking my head slowly.

" You didn't realize. You see pictures of them everyday when you come into my room, how did you not realize?" she asks, her voice slightly disgusted.

" I never really paid much attention," I murmur, picking up the pants I had worn the night before pulling out the piece of paper that had been left for me.

" Wow Brooke. They have been the most popular boy band around since 2000 and you didn't recognize them, you would have to be the only person on the earth who wouldn't know who they are," she says as I hand her the paper her face quickly lighting up with enthusiasm. " Seriously? MJ left you a note? Why do you have all of the luck?" I shrug my shoulders as I walk into my bathroom. It's not like I ask for it.


	2. Chapter 2: Unexpected Peace

**Author's Note: So I decided that I am going to post the first five chapters or so, and wait to get to feedback. If I dont get any I will probably just remove it, but if I get some then I will definitely finish posting it all, this story is finished, I will just have to post it all.**

**C****hapter 2: Unexpected Peace**

"_**Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it"-Anonymous**_

* * *

Steam billows through the bathroom as I wash my hair, lost in thought. Maybe Olivia was right. Was I possibly too disconnected from the world? Everyone in the world who has access to a television or computer would have recognized if they were serving and conversing with the hottest boy band around. I run the wash cloth over my right arm immediately noticing that my bracelet is gone. My heart hammers in my chest when I step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body before I run to my room. I throw clothes behind me with shaky hands in search of my bracelet. It's a simple leather bracelet but its my life line.

" Liv," I call out my voice panicked, " Olivia." Olivia comes into my room a mug of coffee in her hands the smile on her face drifting away slowly.

" Brooke, Brooke what's the matter?" Olivia asks, kneeling down next to me on the floor.

" I can't find it. My bracelet, it's gone," I cry out, anxiety racing through my body. I hate being emotional, I hate crying, but I bury my head in Olivia's shoulder unleashing a torrent of tears.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

Last night ended like any other night when I end up going out with my brothers. Watching them unmercifully flirt with every girl in sight. Stepping over clear and present boundaries. Usually it wouldn't bother me so much. After all, I have been witness to this behavior since I was thirteen. Yet last night with the waitress it just bugged me. There was something in her eyes that got to me. The quick flash of anger riddled with fear that flickered across her face made me furious at TJ's inability to keep his hands to himself. I finger the bracelet that had fallen from her wrist, wondering why I hadn't tried finding her before we left the restaurant to return it to her. My curiosity only peeked when I discovered the words on the inside of the leather bracelet _'I can be beautiful again.' _Was it some sort of mantra? Could it be humanly possible for someone as beautiful as her to not know or believe in her beauty? I slip the bracelet in my pocket when a knock sounds on my door.

" Morning MJ," a voice flitters through the room when my personal assistant Melissa walks through the door. I smile broadly when she hands me a bottle of mineral water before sitting down. " You have a pretty full day today. A meeting with Sony at ten, and then lunch with your parents at one. I got you guys reservations at The Whisper Lounge." At the mention of the restaurant my heart pounds. Would she be there again? I shake my head slightly when Melissa clears her throat. " MJ, you okay?"

" Oh yeah, just thinking. Can you maybe reschedule lunch with my parents, move it to a late dinner, I want to head into the recording studio for a few hours first," I say, and she just nods her head as she dials the number of the restaurant. Her murmuring voice buzzes in my head as I stare out of my window, losing myself in thought.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I walk slowly to my psychology class, my head down as I pass through flocks of people. My heart slams against my ribs, anxiety making me nauseous. Was everyone staring at me? Did they all know? Logically I know that people have better things to do than to stare at me as I walk by, but its not the logical side of me that's working right now. I slip into the lecture hall, taking a seat in the far back of the classroom, well away from everyone. I pull my text book from my bag flipping to the chapter we'll be working on.

" Today we'll be discussing," the professors voice trails off as I lay my head on my desk, eyes closing slowly.

_My heart hammers in my chest when a familiar and sickening voice echoes in my head. _

'_It's al'right baby, just relax,' the voice says, and I curl away my eyes rolling around in my head as I fight for consciousness. I fight to scream out, for someone anyone to hear me. _

" _No!" _I scream jolting awake sending my heavy textbooks to the floor with a loud crash. Every eye on me as I gasp for air in the middle of the lecture hall. I fumble for my things, trying to get away from their scrutinizing gazes. I slam open the door, running down the halls. I push into a bathroom sinking down against the door my lungs burning as I try and pull myself together. I pull out my cell phone, hands shaking as I search through my contacts.

" Liv, can you come get me, please? It's happening again," I choke into the phone, listening as my best friend asks where I'm at understanding and love in her voice.

* * *

I stare out of my bedroom window, my body aching in areas that were scrubbed raw. A soft hand on my shoulder has me looking away from the traffic and noise just outside.

" What happened?" Olivia asks, her eyes soft when she sits in front of me. I shrug my shoulders, shaking my head slowly.

" I don't know. I just, I don't know," I mumble, knuckling tears from my face.

" Brooke. For the last two years I have been trying my hardest to support you in your decision to not get help. When the Nightmares stopped, you seemed to move on with your life, but they always come back hun. I don't know how many nights before you got the pills that I would listen from my room as you screamed in your sleep. You need to get help. Look I'll go on line, I'll find a group or something, I'll go with you," Olivia pleads, her eyes shining with worry. Be that as it may I don't need help. I shake my head furiously.

" No. No. Its fine. I will go to the doctor get something for the anxiety," I say, getting up from the chair walking over to my closet. I pull out my black pants and dress shirt laying them out on the bed.

" What are you doing?" Olivia asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

" I have work in an hour," I say, plugging in my curling iron.

" And your seriously thinking about going?" she asks, staring at me in disbelief.

" I have to work. Its Friday night, its going to be packed. No way anyone will switch shifts with me," I murmur, pulling a brush through my dark hair.

" Then call in sick," she urges, but I shake my head.

" I need the money. Besides if I'm working I wont be so set on thinking about," I trail off knowing that I don't have to finish the sentence for her to understand.

" All right, well at least let me drive you to work," she offers and I nod as she walks out of my room.

* * *

I look in the mirror smiling softly at my carefully masked face. My dark hair curled and pinned with a pink flower at the base of the tendrils. Dark eye shadow and eyeliner concealing my previous tears. I take a deep breath as I brush my finger's across pink tank top under my shirt. I adjust it, concealing my scar before leaving the room. The ride to work is quiet as Olivia is still upset that I'm going into work at all. I slide out of the car, Olivia's voice calling to me from the window.

" Brooke, always?" Olivia asks, her eyes shining at me as I smile slowly at our own little code.

" And forever," I reply winking at her when I turn towards the building.

" Brooke, your late," Mr. Robinson yells at me, and I roll my eyes as I shut the lock on my locker door.

" Sorry Mr. Robinson, wont happen again," I say sliding a few bens into my pants pocket.

" Good. Now you have a special table to take care of tonight. Bigger than V.I.P and he asked for you personally," my boss says, and I stare at him dumbfounded. Who would be asking for me personally? I'm not like any of the other waitresses here. I don't flirt shamelessly, or any of the other things I have known co-workers to do.

" Okay," I mutter as I punch in my clock in code.

" He requested a rather deserted table, and until he and his party are gone you are to focus solely on him, am I clear?" he asks and I nod my head slowly. Damn it. How am I going to make any good tips if I am stuck babysitting one table?

" Which table?" I ask, turning to look at Mr. Robinson, my arms wrapped around my body.

" Twenty-eight," he answers and with a flick of a wrist he sends me on my way. I weave through the tables smiling at patrons as I go.

" Hello, I'm," I say pulling a pen from my pocket about to introduce myself when someone shy and silky voice finishes the sentence for me.

" Brooke," the voice says and I look up staring dumbly at MJ. I shake my head slowly smiling broadly.

" Right. You were here last night, with your brothers," I say, leaning against one of the iron bars that makes up the structure of the cabana.

" Yeah, you'll have to excuse them. They sometimes forget that not every person in the world likes being treated that way," MJ murmurs, a soft smile on his lips.

" Its absolutely no problem. I have seen far worse in my time.," I say, smiling when someone clears their throat making their annoyance clear. I look at the man who sits across from MJ and my heart stutters in my chest. On the surface he looks like a smooth business man in his dark suit and well kept hair cut, but under the surface lurks an anger that has me shaking to my very soul. " My apologies. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

" What do you suggest?" the man asks his voice cutting into me like razor blades.

" Well if your looking for a cocktail I have heard nothing but wonderful things about the Raspberry Lemonade, but if alcohol isn't what your looking for we have Pepsi products, both hot and cold teas, coffee," I say, smiling at him despite my gut feeling to turn on my heels and run.

" I'll try the Raspberry Lemonade, but if it isn't good I'm holding you personally responsible," he says, his voice dripping with venom.

" Joseph," the woman next to him murmurs, " Don't scare the girl she's just trying to do her job. I'll take a cup of hot chamomile dear." I smile at her writing it down quickly before turning to MJ. His eyes are on the man, Joseph, filled with tense anger.

" Mineral water?" I ask, biting back a giggle when he rolls his eyes at Joseph's turned face before looking back at him his eyes smiling up at me.

" Yes please, with lemon," MJ says, and I nod my head excusing myself from the table. _'This is going to be a long night, and I just had to wear my high heels,'_ I think to myself dismally, knowing that I would be lucky if my feet weren't bleeding by the end of the night.

* * *

Sure enough two hours and four Raspberry Lemonade's for Joseph later my feet are screaming at me, and my attitude isn't doing any better. I have heard of people taking their sweet time when it comes to eating, but this is just getting ridiculous. I walk to the cabana that MJ and his parents sit in, catching some of the conversation, hushed and angry words.

" Boy your wrecking everything I worked to give you," Joseph's voice growls out low and menacing.

" Like what Joseph? You have clung on and sucked everything you could out of J5, its time for me to do things my way and on my own," MJ's voice floats through the air. I slap on my best nonchalant smile as I step into the cabana.

" Can I," my words are interrupted when Joseph throws his drink at me.

" You should know better than to interrupt a personal conversation girl," Joseph says and I stand in stunned silence as the contents of the drink drip from my face. I wipe my hands over my face anger boiling as I try and reign it in.

" You know I have tried being nice all night, chalking up your poor attitude and disposition to the apparent half-assed face lift you got in an attempt to freshen whatever image you think you have. However, I will not tolerate you or any one else throwing a drink in my face," I hiss out, a soft chuckle from MJ not going unnoticed.

" Big mistake girl. I'll have you fired, you will never work in L. A again," Joseph roars as I slap their bill on the table.

" Save yourself the headache," I reply, storming away from the table just as Mr. Robinson heads towards me his face riddled with anger, " I quit." I slam through the kitchen doors and already the murmurs have begun. I open my locker pulling out my purse as I strip off my wet and sticky black shirt balling it up before tossing it in the trash can.

I lean against the wall of the restaurant cursing Olivia and the fact that she doesn't know how to answer the phone. I look at the time on my phone, realizing that there is still another hour before she is supposed to be here to pick me up.

* * *

" Brooke?" a questioning voice calls from behind me, and I turn around my stomach balling up tightly when I recognize it's MJ bathed in shadows.

" Oh hey," I say, giving a weak wave. I watch as he walks towards me a small smile on his lips as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

" Can I just say, I have never heard anyone talk to Joseph that way," he says and I shake my head trying to bite back the laughter that bubbles inside of me.

" I would apologize for it but then I would be lying," I say, self-consciously tugging at my tank top, my arm brushing over sticky skin.

" I didn't ask for an apology, it was well, entertaining," he says, bracing himself against the wall opposite of me. I laugh slightly, when something clicks in my head.

" Oh uhm, look I usually don't do this but can I get an autograph?" I ask, pulling a piece of scrap paper from my purse. I watch as something on his face changes when he walks towards me.

" A fan of J5 huh?" he asks his voice filled with sarcasm. I roll my eyes as he takes the paper from my hand.

" No, but my best friend is. She was kind of pissed at me when I didn't tell her first thing last night that I met you and your brothers, was even angrier when I told her I didn't recognize who you all were until this morning when she slapped the magazine announcing that J5 was disbanding," I say, handing him a pen, his eyes lit with curiosity.

" You didn't recognize us?" he asks, staring at me with disbelief. I nod my head, suddenly feeling nervous under his gaze.

" Don't get me wrong, the music you and your brother's did was catchy, but it was," I pause trying to find the right word that wouldn't earn me words of wrath from this superstar.

" Lacking?" he offers and I nod my head completely caught off guard by the fact that he so willingly admitted that their music wasn't exactly meaningful. " I think you're the first person to ever say that to me out loud. What's her name?"

" Huh? Oh uhm, Olivia," I say, watching him closely as he writes quickly on the paper handing it to me. " I almost forgot," he says, and I watch as reaches into his pocket pulling something out. He takes my hand in his, closing my palm over it. " You are beautiful, don't forget that." I watch as he walks away, his head bent down as he walks. I open my palm slowly, my bracelet sitting in the center of my hand. A piece of paper underneath it.

' _In case you need a reminder,' _it reads a phone number written underneath the meaningful words. I smile slowly as I slip my lifeline around my wrist, trying to figure out if its having my bracelet back or MJ's simple words and act of kindness that has me feeling at peace, once again.


	3. Chapter 3: Just Close Your Eyes and Sing

**Chapter 3: Just Close Your Eyes And Sing**

_"**When a singer truly feels and experiences what the music is all about, the words will automatically ring true."-Monserrat Caballe**_

* * *

" So let me get this straight, MJ, THE MJ specifically requests you to be his waitress tonight, and the psycho Joseph threw a drink at you, then you quit?" Olivia asks, as she sits across from me on the couch. I nod as I brush my freshly washed hair, smirking at her.

" Well, I quit after I commented on Joseph's half-assed face lift," I say, laughing when her face drops in disbelief.

" Are you insane?" she asks, throwing a pillow at me which I catch easily tossing it back at her.

" What he had it coming. I tolerated a lot working at The Whisper, but having someone throw a drink in my face just kind of sent me over the edge," I say, tossing my brush onto the end table with a slight clinking sound. " Though now that I think of it, I don't know what I'm going to do. Without a job I cant pay tuition, or rent, not to mention," I'm cut off mid-rant when Olivia grabs my right wrist running her thumb over my leather bracelet.

" Where did you find it?" she asks, and I look at her smiling softly.

" I didn't find it, it kind of found me," I reply, instantly remembering the feel of MJ's hands on mine when he returned it to me. How strange it was, when most physical contact from the opposite sex has me cringing, his soothed me. I snap out of my momentary trip down memory lane jumping up from the couch.

" What are you doing?" she asks, and I just shake my head and hold up a hand while I search through my purse finally finding the piece of paper I was searching for.

" I have something for you," I say, handing her the paper before curling back up on the couch.

" What is this?" she asks, her eyes going wide once she realizes what it is, " Oh MY GOD! No way, you did this for me?" I nod when she tackles me the paper that MJ had so graciously signed for her clenched tightly in her hand. " You are so amazing, oh my God, Brooke you're the best friend a girl could ask for." I fall to the floor in hysterical laughter when she dances around the room screaming _'I can die a happy woman.'_

* * *

I sit on my bed a few hours later, trying to figure out just what it is that I am going to do. I could always try and find another job, but if Joseph is as powerful as I have a feeling that he is, I would have better luck finding someone sun bathing in Antarctica, than finding another job in Los Angeles. I pick up my cell phone bill, groaning when I read the balance.

" Knock, knock," Olivia's sing song voice calls through the door and before I can tell her to go away she sails into my room.

" Your all dressed up, hot date?" I ask, picking up my scattered bills, shoving them into a drawer.

" Yeah, with you. Your going to get your cute butt into the shower, get all dolled up, and then we are going out," Olivia says, dragging me off the bed shoving me into my bathroom.

" Liv, I don't feel like going out, in case you forgot, I don't have a job anymore, I need to save all of my money," I groan as I turn around to look at her.

" I don't want to hear it, in the shower now," she says, grinning at me as she closes the door in my face. I roll my eyes as I snap the water on and undress. Since when is it illegal for a girl to mourn the loss of her job? I sigh as I step into the shower, no sense in fighting with her about it, when she makes up her mind there is no way out of it. Unfortunately.

" Brooke are you ready yet?" Olivia asks, and I roll my eyes as I stare into the mirror. I pull at my baby pink shirt readjusting my acid wash jeans. I turn around quickly mustering a smile.

" Does this look okay?" I ask, running my hands over my stomach.

" You look awesome, now lets go, we don't want to be late," she says grabbing my hand as she pulls me towards the front door.

" What do you mean_ 'we don't want to be late,'_" I ask, as I follow behind her.

" You'll see," she says, starting the car turning up the radio before I have the time to question her further.

* * *

I sit in the car staring at The Acoustic Playhouse, my heart hammering in my chest.

" Olivia, what did you do?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper as I twirl my bracelet around my wrist nervously.

" I am giving you the push you need. Do you remember, when we were in the ninth grade?" she asks and I nod my head slowly, " Health class. When we had to do that stupid assignment about where we saw ourselves ten years from now? You said you saw yourself as the next big singing sensation. You gave up that dream Brooke, and its time you take it back. Now that you don't have a job, you have the time to pursue your real dream." I shake my head sadly, trying to gain control over myself.

" Liv, I love you, but I cant," I say, my stomach turning at the idea of being on stage in front of so many people.

" Yes you can, and you will," she says, pushing out of the car walking to my door pulling it open. " You'll thank me for this someday." I sigh as I trudge behind her, this can't be happening.

I stand in the crowd blind and deaf to everything that is going on around me. The roar of blood in my head and pounding of my heart too loud to concentrate. I'm snap back to reality when the m.c for the night takes the microphone.

" All right give it up for Ryan," he says, and I clap my hands with everyone else, " Next up is Brooke." my heart rolls sickly in my chest as I start backing away from the crowd searching for the easiest way to get out of the stifling closeness of the club.

" Oh no you don't, you made it through the door, you can do this Brooke," Olivia says pushing me towards the stage, " Just close your eyes and sing." I walk towards the stage, my heart pounding so harshly that I feel like I'm going to vomit. I walk onstage picking up the guitar with shaky hands, sliding the strap over my shoulder with my back still turned to the crowd. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Olivia was right, I sang before I spoke a single word. Music is in me and it's what I love. What's the worst that could happen. 'You could get booed off the stage,' my inner voice echoes in my head and I cringe. True, but I'll never know if I don't try. I turn around holding my breath as I adjust the microphone stand. 'Just close your eyes and sing,' Olivia's soothing voice echoes in my head. I start strumming the familiar chords the music taking over as I open my mouth.

_Strumming my pain with his fingers, Singing my life with his words, Killing me softly with his song, killing me softly,With his song telling my whole life With his words, Killing me softly,With his song _

_I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style, And so I came to see him and listen for a while. And there he was this young boy, stranger to my eyes, Strumming my pain with his fingers, Singing my life with his words,Killing me softly with this song, killing me softly,With his song, telling my whole life, With his words, Killing me softly with his song. I felt all flushed with fever, Embarrassed by the crowd, I felt he found my letters then read each one out loud. I prayed that he would finish, But he just kept right on- Strumming my pain with his fingers, Singing my life with his words, Killing me softly with his song, Killing me softly With his song, Tellin' my whole lifeWith his words, Killing me softly, with his song wooahhh...woooooahh...la la la la la la ...wooooah.. laaaaahhh... woooah..laaaaahhh Ah ah Ah ah Ah ah Ah Strumming my pain with his fingers, yes he was Singing my life with his words, killing me softly with his song, Killing me softly with his song, _

_Telling my whole life with his words, _

_Killing me softly with his song._

I count my heart beats when a sudden burst of applause has my eyes flashing open a nervous smile painting my lips.

" Th, thanks," I stammer setting the guitar down to rush off stage as quickly as I can. I brace one hand on my knee as I press a hand to my stomach.

" Oh my God, Brooke, that was amazing," Olivia squeals as she throws her arms around me. I smile as I hug her tightly my body shaking.

" That, that was so exhilarating," I say, bubbling laughter escaping my lips. Olivia and I stand laughing together when someone clears their throat behind us. I look up my eyes widening when I recognize who stand not five feet from me. MJ stands, a black button up shirt rolled up to his elbows, slightly baggy blue jeans laying low on his hips, a black fedora pulled low on his head. I smile slightly, turning Olivia around.

" Brooke what are you do-" she trails off, a small gasp of surprise finishing her sentence. " Oh my, oh wow, it's MJ." I smile, taking her hand in mine leading her the two steps it takes to be standing closer to him.

" What are you doing here?" I ask, my voice slightly raising over the loud humming noise of the music pulsating through the club.

" I like coming to places like this, in search of inspiration," MJ says, and I smile nodding my head. I bump Olivia's shoulder with mine trying to shake her from her apparent comatose state.

" I love," she stammers, blush immediately painting her cheeks as she shakes her head.

" I love you too," MJ murmurs, his voice barely audible. " Listen, I have to go, but I really want to talk to you about something Brooke. I feel horrible for what Joseph did to you, and the fact that you quit your job, can I get your number?" I stare at him blankly until Olivia takes initiative.

" Of course you can," she says, taking MJ's cell phone punching in my number. " Thanks, I'll call you tomorrow," he murmurs, slipping away into the crowd.

" I cant believe this, I just met MJ. Brooke, can you believe this?" Olivia asks, and I shake my head as we push through the crowd. No, I cant believe it, any of it.


	4. Chapter 4: The Right Choice

**Chapter 4: The Right Choice**

" _**Choices are the hinges of Destiny."-Attributed to both Edwin Markham and Pythagoras.**_

* * *

'_How did we get here, when I used to know you so well? How did we get here, well I think I know…_' my phone sings at me loudly, buzzing across the glass on my bedside table. I groan loudly, my hand shooting out from under the blanket's that I had pulled over my head. I fumble around knocking something to the carpet with a soft thud. I pick up my phone, rolling over as I fumble with my ringing phone.

" Hello," I mumble fighting to open my eyes.

" Mornin' Brooke," a silky and all too cheerful voice flows into my sleep fogged head.

" Who's this?" I slur my breathing evening out as I start drifting off to sleep.

" It's Michael," the voice says sounding slightly nervous.

" I'sorry I don't know a Michael, wrong number, bye-bye" I murmur hanging up the phone, tossing it across my bedroom, rolling back over in my bed dropping back into sleep.

I finally resurface, stretching slowly as I sit up, having the strangest feeling that I had talked to someone on the phone. I look around when my phone isn't in it's usual spot on my bedside table.

'_I don't regret this life I chose for me, these places and these faces are getting old, so I'm going home, I'm going home,' _my phone rings, and I roll my eyes when I find my phone sitting on a pile of clothes in the corner. I pick it up, noting that I have four missed calls, along with new voicemail. I stare at the number, trying to think of who it could be. It rings a small bell in my head, but at the same time I cant seem to put my finger on it. I lift the phone to my ear as I pace around my room.

_'First new message, 'Hey Brooke, its uh, its Michael, erm I mean MJ. I called earlier, sorry about waking you. Never had anyone hang up on me before. Anyways, I wanted to know if you would meet me for lunch today. Call me back.' Next message, 'Hey its MJ again, you know its almost noon don't you? Listen I will be at The Palm Downtown. Hope to see you there.' _I hang up the phone trying to decide what to do.

" Olivia!" I yell opening my bedroom door.

" What?" Olivia groans from her spot on the couch.

" This is all your fault. Why did you give him my number?" I ask, glaring at her as I sit on the couch heavily.

" What are you talking about?" she asks nonchalantly, her mock innocence making me cringe.

" You know what I'm talking about. MJ. He wants to meet me for lunch," I say, running my hands through my dark hair.

" Well what are you waiting for go, get dressed," Olivia commands and I roll my eyes shaking my head.

" No, I'm not going," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

" Oh yes you are, your going to take a shower, get all cleaned up, I will pick out something for you to wear, and call MJ for you, no go," she says pointing me to my room. I groan rolling my eyes as I stomp off to my room. Always was a bossy one. I slam the door while Olivia giggles the sound of her rummaging through my closet making me grumble.

* * *

I walk into The Palm, cursing the fact that I let Olivia talk me into wearing a short black dress. I pull my glasses off of my face, tossing my curled hair over my shoulder.

" Excuse me, I have a meeting with M-erm, Mr. Jackson," I say to the man standing with an open date book in front of him. He raises his head, his blonde hair falling into scrupulous green eyes.

" Your name," he forces out, I smile sweetly remembering that just a few days ago I was in his shoes.

" Brooke," I answer, and I nod my head when a waiter appears, an all too enthusiastic smile on his face.

" Right this way. Mr. Jackson has been here waiting for you, refused to order without you," the waiter says and I smile as butterflies begin to flutter furiously in the pit of my stomach. I blush deeply when I am seated across from MJ, taking in his appearance. His curly hair pulled into a low ponytail that teases the collar of his crisp green shirt. A bright smile on his face.

" I'm so glad you came," MJ says, and I smile slightly as I nervously cross my legs underneath the table.

" Sorry, about this morning," I murmur, fiddling with my glass with shaky hands.

" Its all right, I should be the one apologizing. I tend to forget that not everyone is a morning person," he says, and I smile slowly feeling at ease.

" I have to ask, and I don't mean to sound, rude or anything, but what exactly is this about?" I ask deciding to get straight to the point. A humorous light glinting in his eyes.

" I told you last night. I feel horribly for what Joseph did to you. He is a complicated man," he offers and I smile as I sit back against the chair.

" MJ, you didn't," I start saying but he interrupts me quickly.

" Michael, its Michael. MJ is behind me now," he says, and I smile slowly.

" Okay Michael, you didn't have to ask me to lunch for something you didn't do," I say, sipping from my mineral water.

" Well that's only part of the reason that I asked you to meet me. When did you start singing Brooke?" he asks and I smile slowly sitting back. This is common ground, something we actually have in common.

" I have been singing for as long as I can remember. Its something I cant explain, its like, when I cant find the words to say how I feel or what I'm thinking music always has the answers," I murmur not noticing the dream like undertones that my voice has taken on. " Music speaks to me."

" You have an amazing voice Brooke. I have to tell you I have come across a lot of singers in my time, but none quiet like you," he murmurs and my pulse starts hammering in my throat.

" Thank you," I murmur trying to think of anyway to change the subject.

" You know by now, that I'm working on my first solo album, and believe it or not, I am having the hardest time finding vocalists in this town," he says, and I sit up straighter in my seat, my curiosity peeked by his words, " So I have a proposition for you. I know that you don't have a job, and you probably have bills to pay. I want you to come work with me on my album." I stare at him, my head screaming at me to say yes. What better offer would I get? This could be my foot in the door. I shake my head slowly.

" I'm beyond flattered Michael, but I cant. I have school to think about, and I'm just not comfortable taking a pity job offer. I am touched that your trying to make up for what your father did, but I just cant accept it," I say, sliding off of the chair gathering my purse in my hands.

" Brooke wait, you don't have to answer right away. This isn't a pity offer, I take my music very seriously and if I didn't think that you were right for the job I wouldn't have made the offer. Just think about it, and call me in the morning," he says, his eyes dancing.

" There isn't much to think about Michael, the answer will still be no in the morning," I say, smiling softly.

" I can wait," he says smiling slowly.

" I'm afraid you'll be waiting for a long time," I say, shrugging my shoulders as I walk out of the restaurant.

* * *

I sit on my bed strumming my guitar barely singing lightly.

'_I'm not quiet sure how to breathe, without you here, _

_I'm not quiet sure if I'm ready to say good bye,' _my voice trails off. The song is in me somewhere, I just can't seem to find the rest of it.

" It sounds beautiful Brooke," Olivia says, and I smile up at her from my spot on my bed.

" Thanks, it gets kind of stuck after that," I say, pulling a red jeweled pillow into my lap.

" So you didn't say much after you came home from lunch with MJ," she prods softly, laying across my bed pillowing her head on her hands.

" Michael, his name is Michael," I murmur, and I roll my eyes when she smiles slowly at me.

" Well, what did Michael want to talk to you about?" she asks, putting emphasis on his name. I sigh, sitting back against the headboard of my bed.

" He offered me a job, to be a vocalist on his album," I murmur and the answering shrill scream from Olivia was to be expected.

" Please tell me you said yes," she says, the light fading from her eyes as I shake my head slowly. " Why the hell not? This is the big break you have been dreaming about, are you insane?" I continue shaking my head.

"Liv, you don't understand. Sure it's a great offer, but I don't want, no I don't need him to offer it to me out of pity," I murmur running my hands over my pillow.

" Are you serious right now Brooke Elisabeth Nichols? This is Michael Jackson, the biggest perfectionist in this world, he wouldn't just offer the job to you because of what Joseph did to you. Are you really going to walk away from the biggest chance you'll ever get?" she asks and I shrug my shoulders.

" I don't know, honestly I don't. He told me to think it over, call him in the morning," I say, watching as Olivia walks to the door.

" You know Brooke. I understood when you ran away from North Carolina, still do. How long are you going to keep running from everything good that comes your way?" she asks shutting the door quietly behind her. I stare at my closed door, Olivia's words whirling in my head. Things just got complicated.

I walk the shore of the beach, the feel of the wet sand between my toes making me smile. Olivia was right, of course, she always is. I ran away from North Carolina, and I don't think I've stopped running since. Anything good coming my way I just shut down, moving past it. Not believing anything good could actually come my way, and that I could take it without something horrible happening to it. I sigh as I sit on the ground, pulling my knees to my chest as I stare at the waves crashing in the distance. I close my eyes slowly, wondering how I ended up here. When I climbed in my car it was just to drive, clear my head. An hour later I'm here reminded of home, of everything I left behind. The feel of the breeze rolling of the ocean sending chills down my arms. If I just knew what to do. I sigh as I lay my head on my knees, trying to find the answers in the silence.

* * *

_**Michael's POV**_

I never considered myself to be in the same class of celebrities who get everything that they want, no questions asked. Yet here I am, pacing my rented condo because Brooke said no. I thought she would finally break down, show some sign of extreme enthusiasm over the fact that the biggest opportunity in her life presented itself. Instead she apologized profusely and said she wouldn't take a pity job. Sure I felt bad for what Joseph did, but that's why I ordered the flowers for her. I offered her the job because she has an amazing voice. An underlying tone to it, that speaks of pain and compassion that is almost unbelievable. I turn the digital numbers on the clock screaming at me that it's almost four o'clock in the morning. I sigh heavily as I saunter to my bed, closing my eyes. Brooke's face the last thing I see.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I stare at the phone in my hand, trying to find the courage to dial the number. 'Come on Brooke, you can do this, just dial the number,' I think to myself taking a deep breath as I dial the number in, quickly pressing the call button.

" Brooke?," Michael's silky voice reverberates through the phone, not hiding the shock in his voice. I fiddle with my shirt as I pace around the room.

" Hey, so I thought about it, and I'll work for your, but I have some conditions," I say, bracing myself against the door of my room.

" All right, why don't you give me your address, I will come see you. Then we can discuss these conditions of yours," he says, the amusement in his voice making me roll my eyes. I rattle off my address, saying a quick good bye before hanging up the phone. I stare at myself in the mirror.

" You'll never know, if you don't try," I murmur, turning to walk from the sanctuary of my room. " Oh Olivia, you might want to get dressed Michael will be here in an hour." Olivia bolts from the living room, scrambling over the couch as she slams into her bedroom screaming as she goes. I laugh as I flop onto the couch, she is really going to have to work on that. If I'm going to be working with, actually for Michael, it's going to get old if she screams every time I mention his name. I close my eyes, praying I made the right choice.


	5. Chapter 5: Inspiration Strikes

**Author's Note: I just wanted to write here that in chapter three the song that is in that chapter is Killing Me Softly by The Fugees. I will be using a lot of different songs through out the series and I will always put in my author's note who the song belongs to because I do not intend to commit copyright infringement. Thanks. Enjoy and review :D **

**Chapter 5: Inspiration Strikes**

_" Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity."-Bo Bennett. _

* * *

So laying out my conditions to Michael didn't exactly go as planned. I thought they were pretty simple and straight to the point. One, I don't want to be treated any different from anyone else that would be working on the album, after all in all reality I am nothing more than an employee. Two, I understand how artists can get about there work but if he starts making any _'diva' _like demands, I would walk away from the project at hand without a second thought. And three, the last condition, the most important condition, this could in no way interfere with my school schedule. He understood the first two with no qualms, laughed even when I spoke of him possibly acting like a diva. It was the last condition that made him cringe, and explain to me all too thoroughly that this album will be taking over everyone's life. That poses a problem, now doesn't it? How am I going to study, do assignments, cram for upcoming finals, and work with Michael? I sigh heavily tossing my psychology book to my bed, as I rub my eyes.

' _You have a decision to make Brooke, school or music,' _Michael's voice echoes in my head sadly. If it were two years ago, the decision would have been simple. Music, without a doubt. Two years ago I was a different person, rooted in dreams and fantasy. I hear the front door open, Olivia chattering away on her phone to someone.

" Brooke, a little help please," Olivia calls out, and I slide off my bed padding out to the kitchen.

" Yeah, I will call you later and let you know . Uh huh, uh huh, yeah I'll try, okay, bye," Olivia says into her phone, motioning for me to take the bags from her hands. I set them down easily, the smell of Chinese food making my mouth water.

" Who was that?" I ask, hopping up to sit on the counter, swinging my legs back and forth.

" You remember James don't you? Cute blonde I met a few weeks ago when I was jogging?" she asks, and I nod as I reach behind my head for some glasses, " well he wants to go out."

" Ooo, Livy's got a date," I say in a high pitched sweet voice, " Where are you guys going?"

" He wants to go to DV8," she says, handing me a box of sweet and sour chicken, " Which leads me to ask you for a huge favor." I look up at her, kind of thrown off guard by the tone in her voice.

" Liv, you know you can ask me for anything," I say, taking a bite of chicken before walking slowly to sit on the couch with my dinner.

" All right, now try and remain open minded," she says, and I nod my head rolling my eyes as I chew my food, " He has a friend who is going with him, and he wanted me to ask you to come along, so his friend wont be like a third wheel you know?" I stare at her, eyes widening when her words sink in. I set my food aside, suddenly losing my appetite.

" Olivia, no," I say slowly, her answering groan of misery to be expected.

" Brooke come on. Its not like a date or anything, besides when was the last time you even went out with a group of people? It will be fun. Come on Brookey, I really like this guy, can you just please, please, please, do this for me?" she begs her blue eyes pleading with me. I roll my eyes throwing my hands in the air.

" Fine, I'll go, but only because I love you," I say, my heart sinking into my stomach when she throws her arms around me, skipping to her phone. Her voice echoes dully in my head when she tells James that we are on for tomorrow night, and I wish that I was anywhere but here.

* * *

" Olivia, I don't know about this," I say, my dark jean skirt brushes against my thigh as I turn to the side to look in the mirror.

" Brooke you look great, stop worrying," Olivia says, looking at me over my shoulder her blue eyes popping against her pale skin.

" Maybe a different shirt," I say, tugging the low cut black shirt up, trying to cover my exposed cleavage.

" Brooke stop it, you cant even see the scar," she murmurs pulling my wrist in front of my face forcing me to focus on my bracelet, " Remember." I take a deep breath giving a shaky smile.

" I know," I murmur, turning my eyes to hers, " Thanks."

" Anytime, now lets go," she says, tugging me from the room.

Two hours later we stand in a ridiculously long line, waiting to get into the _'hottest'_ eighteen and over club night.

" So when did you move to L.A?" James' friend Mac asks me, for the millionth time since we have been waiting. I fight the urge to roll my eyes at him, slowly smiling at him.

" Two years ago," I murmur, biting back a sigh of satisfaction when we finally make it through the door.

" Oh cool, cool," Mac murmurs, his voice shaking with nerves. I follow behind Olivia and James, sliding onto an available seat the music playing so loudly I can feel the bass thrumming through my veins. Twenty minutes pass as I sit and watch Olivia cozying up next to James their heads bent in murmured conversation.

" Do you want to dance?" Mac yells over the music and I shake my head.

" Sorry, I don't dance," I yell back, catching an elbow from Olivia. I shoot a glance at her, her eyes widening at me as she extends her head motioning for me to go.

" What?" I mouth at her, and before I can react she grabs my hand pulling me behind her. She slams open the bathroom door before turning to look at me, her eyes riddled with anger.

" I understand that you did me a huge favor by coming out tonight, but can you at least pretend to have a good time, dance, be a normal nineteen year old for once?" Olivia asks, her words cutting through me.

" Olivia, I," I start to make excuses, but I just roll my eyes, " Fine, I'll dance. But you cant just leave me alone."

" Have I ever left you alone?" she asks, and part of me wants to point out the one time she did, instead I shake my head plastering a smile to my face, following her from the bathroom. We make it back to the boys, and I smile down at Mac.

" Lets dance," I say, turning abruptly to lead the way to the crowded dance floor. My heart pounds in my chest wildly when Mac puts his hands on my hips pulling me into him as he grinds against me in rhythm to ' Right Round.' I cringe my body stiffening instinctively as his hot breath flows against my neck. I start gasping for air when the room seems to start closing in on me, people pressed together tightly. Mac lifts my arms placing them over his shoulders. I try to pull away from his grasp but his toned arms keep me in place, one hand roaming to the back of my skirt.

" It's all right baby, relax," he murmurs against my ear, and I fight against him, trying to escape his hold.

" Let me go," I call out breathless, struggling when I bump up against someone, barely feeling there not so gentle push back, " Let me go!." I pull away from him, turning in circles as I search for Olivia, unable to find her in the throngs of people. " Olivia, Olivia!." I spin in circles, the room rising up sickly with every step I take. I race back to the table fumbling with tear blurred eyes trying to find my purse. I grab it, pushing through the immense crowd fighting to make my way to the door. I rush down the stairs, barely catching myself when I almost trip. I hear the murmurs of the waiting crowd, speculation of me being drunk shrugging them off as I make it to the bottom of the stairs. I pull of my shoes, running down the street, the breath tearing out of my chest with every step that I take, too afraid to look back.

* * *

I slam into my apartment racing to the sink vomiting profusely. I lay my head against the cool counter tears pouring down my face. There's a reason I don't go out, a reason I don't subject myself to these things. I walk steadily into my bathroom, stripping my clothes off balling them up before tossing them into the corner. I step into the shower, turning the water on as hot as I can stand it. I scrub my hands over my body, the sting of heat and soap barely noticeable. I slide down against the wall, pulling my knees to my chest as I weep, I'll never be clean, I'll never be whole again, and its all my fault.

" Brooke!" Olivia calls out, and I don't move, my swollen eyes staring blindly out of my window, " Oh God, Brooke." I feel Olivia running her hands over my shoulders before she sits in front of me, her eyes deep with emotion, " Are you okay?" I turn my head slowly, looking at her closely.

" No I'm not okay. I did what you asked Olivia," I say, my voice shaky, " I did it for you."

" I'm sorry Brooke, I just, I thought that you were going to be okay, I thought after so long," she trails off when I roll my eyes.

" Olivia get this through your head, its never going to be okay. I will never be okay!" I scream, getting up to pace around the room.

" Brooke please," she says, but I don't even hear her as I thrust things off of my dresser, picture frames and my pink lamp crashing to the floor, " Brooke." She hugs me from behind as I cry sinking to the floor.

" I'm so sorry Brooke," Olivia murmurs, and I smile weakly at her over my bowl of ice cream.

" Don't be. I'm going to have to make that break through eventually, it's just not yet," I say, taking a bite of ice cream.

" I know, I just, I feel bad," she says, and I smile clanking my spoon against hers when she tries to steal a bite from my bowl, " At least he was cute."

" Who James? Yeah he was," I say, laughing when she changes the subject.

" Well yeah James was cute, but I was talking about Mac," she says, and I roll my eyes.

" Yeah he was cute, that's about as far as it goes with him, a cute face, no personality to speak of," I say, my laughter cutting short when my phone rings. I hand my bowl to Olivia as I unfold myself from the couch to get my phone.

" Who is it?" she asks and I turn to look at her.

" Its Michael," I say, pressing a finger to my lips telling her to shut up so I can answer the call, " Hello."

" Hey Brooke, are you busy?" Michael's rushed voice asks and I look around trying to find the clock.

" Uhm no, its two in the morning, so no I'm not busy," I say, twirling a strand of my hair around my fingers.

" Good, can you come out, to the ranch?" he asks, and I know my jaw drops. He wants me to come out to Neverland right now? Is he insane?

" Michael, its two in the morning, by the time I get there it will be going on four, cant this wait until tomorrow," I ask, brushing of Olivia's excited hands as she grabs onto me.

" No, it cant, besides I'm down stairs waiting," he says, and I shake my head running my hands through my hair.

" Well I guess I don't have much of a choice do I? I'll be down in a few minutes," I say, hanging up the phone on a groan.

" So what did he want?" Olivia asks, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

" He wants me to go to Neverland, tonight," I say, disbelief still coursing through me.

" You cant that's a two hour drive, its so late all ready," she says, and I blink a couple of times before telling her the next part.

" He's here, waiting for me downstairs," I say, walking in a daze to my room, stepping over the mess I made earlier.

" What no way, your going to be in a car, spending the night with Michael?" she asks, as I change mechanically out of my pajamas.

" It isn't like that Liv, its work," I say, pulling a simple white tank top over my head. Her answering 'mhm' has me rolling my eyes as I grab my bag throwing it over my shoulder. I hug Olivia quickly before opening the door.

" Call me," she calls after me as I race down the stairs.

I walk into the parking garage noticing right away which car was Michael's car. A shiny black 2008 Bentley GT Coupe. I raise an eyebrow at the sleek yet somewhat simplistic look of his car. I open the door, the smell of his cologne wafting towards me, causing my heart to skip a beat.

" Hey," Michael says, waiting patiently as I buckle my seat belt, " Sorry about this, but inspiration struck." I nod my head as he pulls the purring car into traffic squirming in my seat as I secretly wish that Olivia was with me.


	6. Chapter 6: Genius Or Glutton For Punishm

**Author's Note: Hey everyone, sorry that its been so long since I added more chapters for this story. I have been super busy dealing with drama, stress, and everyday life. I will be leaving for vacation this Friday (August 6th) So I decided to post quiet a few chapters tonight. Not sure how many I will post yet...I think I will just keep adding until I decide to stop. Anyways, I hope that you all enjoy these upcoming chapters. Please review! Its greatly appreciated. Love Amber **

**P.S By the way, in upcoming chapters songs will be added but I will always give credit where credit is due, I promise. **

**Chapter 6: Genius Or Glutton For Punishment? That Is The Question.**

"_Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What? You too? I thought I was the only one.'"-Anonymous_

* * *

I have discovered that complete silence can be both a blessing, and a curse. On the one hand it gives you the chance to think, to dream, on the other it can be tense, uncomfortable, and stressful. I fidget in my seat, realizing with a groan that we have only been in the car for fifteen minutes. Fifteen long minutes of complete silence. I catch myself for the millionth time stealing a glance at Michael from the corner of my eyes, blushing as the his careless gorgeousness. I lean over pressing the button on the stereo, sitting back in shock when _' I Got The Feelin' _blares through the car. Michael's long fingers fumble for the volume control, turning it down so that its a soft murmur in the background.

" I never would have guessed," I whisper, catching the look Michael gives me from the corner of my eye.

" What's that?" he asks, resting one hand on the steering wheel, the other one hanging out of the window.

" That you were a James Brown fan," I say, turning in my seat to look at him.

" Why is that?" he asks, his brow wrinkling with curiosity.

" I don't know, I guess I just assumed that with the type of music you've released," I say, shrugging my shoulders, at a loss for words on how to word what I'm trying to say without hurting his feeling, or sensitive artistic capabilities.

" Correction, the type of music J5 released. I told you Brooke, the music I want to make is going to be completely different," he says, and I smile slowly. I have to believe the guy, after all, his taste in music hints that something different is ready to come bursting out of him. Silence settles in the car again, and I hum lowly, thrumming my fingers along to the music, when Michael abruptly shuts it off.

" Brooke, do you mind if I ask you a question?" he asks, and I look over at him shaking my head slowly.

" No," I answer, crossing my legs so that I am sitting Indian style on the seat of the car.

" Why did you leave home?" he asks, and his question catches me off guard, my heart slamming against my ribs rudely, as I start fiddling with my bracelet.

" There uh," I stammer, clearing the sudden lump that has formed in my throat, " There was nothing there for me anymore."

" What about your family?" he pushes and I roll my eyes at the thought of my _'parents' _and believe me when I say, I use that term loosely.

" I'm an only child," I murmur, " And to say that I was a bitter disappointment to them both would be a huge understatement." I know my voice sounds colder than I intend for it to, but I don't like the subject of my parents, or of my hometown of Wilmington for that matter. I left it behind for a reason. It's my past. A stained, blackened past that is too painful to face.

" Hmm. Funny isn't it? You spend your entire life trying to live up to what your parents want from you and at the end of the day its never enough," he murmurs and I smile sadly, nodding my head.

" Exactly. So you got to ask a question, its my turn now?" I ask, deciding to take the opportunity to not only fill the uncomfortable silence but to also learn a little bit more about Michael. The real Michael. Not the musician and celebrity. No, I want to learn about Michael the person.

" All right," he says nodding his head, a shy smile on his lips.

" What's it like, to have millions of people all over the world know who are? To obsess over you?" I ask, pulling my knees up so that I can lay my head against them. I turn my eyes towards him waiting for his answer.

" Honestly?" he trails off, his voice apprehensive as I can see the way he thinks of how to answer my question, " Its hard. Its like, the little things that normal people can do are ripped away from you. Going to a grocery store, the mall, the beach, I cant do any of that without thousands of people following behind me, screaming my name, asking for pictures and autographs. I don't want to sound like I am complaining, because I'm not. I love every single one of my fans, but sometimes I just want to," he trails off, and before I can stop myself the words flow from my mouth.

" You just want to escape," I say, realizing that under the exterior of celebrity Michael is just a boy. A boy longing for a childhood he never got to the to do.

" Exactly. I've singing since I was five, and even though we didn't get our _'big'_ break until I was thirteen, it was all of the little things I didn't get to do. Joseph, he was constantly pushing us, auditions, talent competitions. There were times when we would go to a performance and not get home until three, four o'clock in the morning, and still we would have to get up and go to school. I never got to go play, or hang out with friends, it was just me, my brothers, and Joseph, all of the time. Mother stayed behind with Rebbie, Latoya, Randy, and Janet. It was the hardest damn childhood, but as Joseph would say_, 'Be grateful boy,'_" Michael says, his voice going from soft-spoken, to a deep and on mark impression of his Father, " I'm sorry, I didn't mean to completely unload on you." I shake my head, my mind whirling with everything that I just learned.

" No, no, its okay," I murmur, and before I have time to push him for more details, we fall into easy conversation of music, laughing when we discover that our tastes are scarily similar.

* * *

I stare at the large lit gates of Neverland. I'll admit, when I first heard that Michael purchased the home and surrounding area when he barely turned nineteen and then dubbed it Neverland, I thought it was rather, odd, an almost grown man building a home solely around a fairy tale, including rides and theatres. Yet somehow, now that I am staring at all of the enchantment, I understand. Michael's short tirade on just how difficult life had been growing up with his father completely opened my eyes. He was in fact nothing more than a child in a man's body. I smile when he stops the car, completely in awe by it all.

" Beautiful isn't it?" Michael asks, and I smile nodding my head.

" Its almost as great as Disneyland," I say, shooting a smug look at him, " Almost."

" Well I will show you around sometime, you'll have to get acquainted with the area eventually. But for now, I'll show you the greatest part," he says, leading me around the massive home, to a somewhat smaller building. He opens the door for me, and I step through the doors staring with artists appreciation at what lays before me. I walk forward, running my hands over the mixing and sound boards, my fingers itching to touch the guitar sitting in the corner, the baby grand piano just screaming to be played.

" This is amazing," I reply, turning a slow circle until I'm facing him.

" Isn't it?" he asks, shrugging out of his black jacket tossing it carelessly onto the plush leather couch against one of the walls. He crooks a finger at me telling me wordlessly to follow him into the sound booth. He hands me some pages of paper and I smile reading over the lyrics before me.

" Ready to get to work?" he asks, and I smile nodding my head. I have never been so ready for something in my life.

* * *

I collapse onto the couch drinking deeply from the bottle of water that Michael hands me, the cool water down runs down my hoarse throat and I sigh with contentment.

" That was a good start," Michael says, and I nod my head, stifling a yawn, " Tired?" I shake my head slowly trying miserably to lie about my exhaustion.

" I'll be right back," he says, and I watch as he leaves the room. I stare up at the ceiling smiling giddily over the experience. To hear the music and the words. For the first time in my life I have to admit that I'm glad to be so wrong about someone. Michael has more than amazing potential, and being the perfectionist that he is, this album, when released is going to be explosive and life altering. I stretch slowly, melting into the couch as I lay down, my eyes drifting close, my tiredness finally catching up with me.

'_It wouldn't be until later, much later, that I realized that I fell asleep that night without the aid of a sleeping pill.'_

Michael's POV

I slowly walk back to the recording studio, pages of lyrics and music in my hands. I knew I made the right choice in recruiting Brooke to work this album with me. Sure she is new, very new to the business, but her ear for music is undeniable, and that voice. There was something more to it though. The way that I just opened up to her in the car, without her telling me that I was crazy, that I should be thankful for everything I have, for my success. She understood me. She sat in silence, listening as I told her my dreams and hopes, and didn't judge me.

" Since you aren't tired," I say, as I open the door, my words trailing off when I notice Brooke sleeping soundly on the couch, her dark hair falling into her face, her slim shoulders rising and falling with each even breath she takes. I smile, knowing it wont be long before she grows used to the hours, inevitably turning into a night owl, at worst an insomnia riddled human being. I grin, quietly walking towards her, laying my discarded jacket over her, lightly brushing my fingers over her hair. I lay the sheet music on the piano before leaving the room flipping the light off behind me.

_Brooke's POV_

I wake slowly, panic coursing through me for a few seconds when I momentarily forget where it is that I am. I sit up looking around, remembering that the sun was just starting to rise over the hills when I fell into a deep and comfortable sleep. I stand up, straightening out my disheveled clothes. I scan the room, looking for a clock and find that there isn't one in sight. Apparently someone doesn't want the reminder that time passes in his studio. I kneel next to the couch rifling through my bag finding my cell phone, and the million text messages and missed calls from Olivia.

'_Brooke, you said you'd call me, I'm still waiting.'_

' _Okay I'm getting scared now Brooke, you haven't returned a single message, answer me young lady, or I am going call the police.'_

' _Fine Brooke if you don't want to tell me what Michael's house is like you could have just told me.'_ I roll my eyes slowly not even bothering to listen to my voicemails. It's one o'clock in the afternoon on a Saturday, Olivia is probably sitting on the couch with her vanilla soy latte watching 90210 re-runs. I find her number in my phone and press the call button.

" Glad to see you finally decided to call me," Olivia's slightly annoyed voice rings through the phone. I smile, knowing that in about two point five seconds her attitude will lift and she will squeal into the phone asking and begging for every detail of Michael's home.

" I'm sorry Livy, I know you told me to call you, its just once we got here we got so caught up in work I totally spaced," I say, waiting two heart beats, pulling the phone from my ear as Olivia squeals excitedly.

" Okay, okay your forgiven, now tell me all about it. Tell me what its like. How was the car ride? What does the house look like? What is the music like that you're working on? Come on woman tell me before I die over here," she says in a rushed and overly enthusiastic voice and I laugh sitting on the bench of the piano her flurry of questions making me giggle.

" Okay well, the car ride was really uncomfortable at first, but then we finally started talking. It was actually pretty great," I murmur, remembering the ease of our conversation, " I cant even explain the house. It's something you'd have to see to believe. As for the music, I cant really tell you anything other than its something that caught me off guard, in the best way."

" Okay, so is he there with you know?" she asks and I roll my eyes as I look around knowing that I'm alone.

" No, I fell asleep in the studio at some point, cant really remember what time that was," I murmur, laughing when she groans loudly.

" Oh, so what time are you going to be back?" she asks, and I look around.

" I don't know. I'll call you though, I promise, as soon as I find out," I say, and she giggles.

" Yeah like I haven't heard that one before," she murmurs, " Talk to you later Brooke, give Michael a kiss for me," she teases, and I roll my eyes.

" Yeah like that's going to happen," I murmur, rolling my eyes, " Talk to you later sweets." I hang up the phone smiling as I turn on the bench putting my phone beside me. I pull the sheets of music from the smooth surface of the piano, my eyes scanning over the notes and words. I recognize the piece we were working on early this morning setting the music in front of me. I rub my hands together, flexing my fingers. I press my fingers to the keys smiling in delight when the music fills the room. I close my eyes slowly letting the music rain over me, getting lost in the moment.

" Mornin'," a voice calls out to me, and my fingers freeze on the keys as I let out a muffled scream toppling backwards off of the bench. A burst of laughter echoes off of the walls and I get caught up in the humor of the situation. I clutch my side my eyes closed tight as I continue to laugh, " Oh geeze, let me help you up." I open my eyes slowly tears pouring down my face as I continue laughing.

" Yes, yes you can," I say, extending my hand to him. He pulls me up easily and I steady myself the back of my head aching slightly from where I hit the hard wood floor.

" I uh, I didn't mean to scare you," Michael mumbles wringing his hands nervously.

" You just caught me off guard that's all. Sorry about snooping, the music was just, there," I murmur, sitting down on the couch.

" That's why I left the music there, I figured that you would want to take a look at it," he says, and I smile slowly.

" Its beautiful, I didn't tell you that last night, but it is," I murmur, looking up at him. It hits me then, that he is the first guy that I have spent significant alone in two years. There's no racing heart, shaky hands, rolling stomach, there's nothing.

" So I was thinking, I really don't want to stop working, is there any way that you can stay until the weekend is over?" he asks, sitting next to me. I groan, rolling my eyes.

" I cant," I say, sitting back against the couch, resting my head tenderly against the back of the couch.

" Why not?" he asks, his voice slightly annoyed.

" Well to start I don't have any clothes to change into, and I don't relish the idea of staying in the same clothes for two days, plus I have assignments to finish before Monday," I say, staring at the ceiling above me.

" Is that all that's stopping you from staying the weekend?" he asks, and I nod my head. Not wanting to mention the sudden fear that overwhelms me at the idea of being here, " Well call Olivia, have her drive up with your things." I stare at him dumbfounded.

" Michael, do you have any idea what your asking for? This is Olivia we're talking about, one your biggest fans," I say, sitting up slowly to look at him.

" How bad could it be?" he asks, handing me my phone, " Call her."

" All right, but don't say I didn't warn you," I murmur as I wait for her to answer her phone. Either Michael Jackson is a genius, or he's a glutton for punishment.


	7. Chapter 7: Walk Down Nightmare Lane

**Author's Note: Chapter Seven! Read, Enjoy, REVIEW!**

**Chapter 7: Walk Down Nightmare Lane**

_" These wounds wont seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there just too much that time cannot erase."-My Immortal, Evanescence. _

* * *

I sit on the leather couch staring at the ceiling of the recording studio my phone held out in mid air while Olivia screams. She's been screaming for fifteen minutes now, a new personal record, believe me I keep track. I hesitantly put the phone back up to my ear when she goes silent.

" Are you done now?" I ask looking lazily at my black polished finger nails.

" Yeah sorry, I kind of lost my head there. I just, Michael, Neverland, this is all too much, a dream come true," Olivia mutters dreamily, and I cringe. I tried telling Michael, but no, would he listen? So whatever comes of Olivia coming to Neverland is on his own head, not mine.

" Whatever Liv. Listen I need you to bring my books and laptop and my white psychology folder okay?" I say into the phone, feeling kind of disgruntled by the idea of Olivia joining us at Neverland. Don't get me wrong, I love my best friend, she is the closest thing to a sister that I would ever get, but she is such a _'fan girl'_ when it comes to Michael or any of J5 for that matter.

" Yeah okay, what about clothes? Anything in particular you want me to bring?" she asks and I think for a second, not noticing that Michael is standing in the doorway pf the studio.

" I don't really care Liv. Oh wait, bring my baby pink sweater, oh and one more thing, can you bring my medicine?" I ask, waiting for her to answer me.

" Are you sure?" she asks and I cringe. I wish I could tell her to forget it, that I'll be fine but I know better, everytime I start thinking that I'll be okay something happens to send me spiraling back down into the darkness.

" Yeah I'm sure, you have the directions right?" I ask and I smile when she groans.

" Of course I do. I'll see you in a few hours Brooke," she says, and just before I am about to hang up she murmurs something in my ear, " Always?" I grin broadly as I toss my hair over my shoulders.

" And forever," I answer back hanging up the phone. I lay back against the couch holding my phone lightly in my hand.

" I take it Olivia's coming then?" Michaels low voice echoes through the room causing a small scream to tear from my throat as I jump. I press a hand to my chest, as I turn to look at him.

" Geeze, you scared the hell out of me," I murmur, shaking my head steadying myself, " Yeah she's coming."

" Good, that's good. Can I ask you a personal question?" he asks, walking towards me sitting on the arm of the couch. Goosebumps cover my skin as my heart starts pounding in my chest.

" Erm, sure," I says, rubbing my hands nervously over my arms my fingers brushing against my bracelet.

" What do you need medication for?" he asks bluntly, his dark chocolate colored eyes unwavering from mine. I stare at him for a full second my mind wondering as I try and think of what to tell him. The truth obviously out of the question.

" Its asthma medication. I usually take it at night so I don't wake up gasping for air," I lie, guilt washing over me at how easily being dishonest with Michael comes to me.

" Oh, okay, well I found some clothes laying around," he says handing me a pair of dark wash jeans and a black spaghettis strapped shirt, " These are my sister Latoya's, she wont mind since they've been here for months. I figured you could shower, and then we can get some recording in before Olivia gets here."

" Oh okay, thanks," I murmur taking the clothes from him.

" You can use the shower in the pool house, it's closer," he says as he leads me from the studio, and I silently nod my head as a heavy feeling settles into the pit of my stomach.

* * *

The water runs hot over my body as I turn my face into the spray. Guilt somehow washing over me just as hotly as the water. My fingers graze the scar on my chest and I cringe, my stomach rolling as I close my eyes. I snap the water off stepping out of the shower before I have the chance to think too much. I dress quickly enjoying the feel of clean clothes as I run my hands over the mirror wiping away the built up condensation. I tug at the borrowed shirt trying to cover myself and my past. I growl lowly when it doesn't work. I kneel down rifling through my bag finding one of the bandages that I always carry with me, I tear it open covering the hideous mark, tears clouding my eyes when a soft knock has me swiping my hands at the tears that threaten to fall.

" Brooke?" Michael's voice calls through the door.

" Yeah," I answer, busying my shaky hands as I run my brush through my wet hair.

" I uh, went ahead and got us some lunch," he calls out his voice shy and sweet only driving my guilt factor to skyrocketing limits.

" Okay, be out in a second," I call back hanging a damp towel over the top of the shower. I open the door slowly smiling slightly at Michael.

" Hungry?" he asks and I nod my head noticing the way his eyes glance down at the bandage.

" Yeah lets go," I say quickly brushing past him and out of the pool house before he can ask any questions.

" I had a room set up for you and Olivia," Michael says, and I look up at him across the table, " I hope you wont mind sharing. I'm renovating some of the house and other than my room there's only one room done."

" It'll be fine," I say, smiling at him as I take a drink of my soda chewing on my pink bendy straw. It's been an hour since we sat down to eat, barely talking to each other, both of us lost in our own thoughts, and an uncomfortable silence falls over us when someone enters the kitchen.

" Hey Mike, there's a girl out in front of the gates, she insists that she was invited here by you," the man says his voice deep and annoyed.

" Oh yeah sorry Max, I should have told you. That's Olivia, Brooke's friend," Michael says and I follow his lead as he pushes away from the table. My mood lifts at the thought of my best friend being here. I step into the warm sunlight smiling when Olivia steps out of her blue Saturn a huge smile on her face. I run towards her hugging her tightly.

" Hey," I murmur, pulling away to smile at her.

" Hey yourself. Can you believe this place Brooke its amazing," Olivia says and I roll my eyes at her as I pull my pink and black duffel from the trunk, grabbing my back pack next.

" Hello Olivia, its nice to see you again," Michael says, waving from a safe distance.

" Oh uhm hi," Olivia stammers running her hands self-consciously over her hair.

" Well I will show you guys to your room, and then Brooke and I have to get back to work," Michael says and I grin as I push Olivia forward.

" Breathe, woman," I command playfully laughing when a long _'whoosh'_ comes from my friend. Michael opens a door at the end of a long hallway stepping aside so that Olivia and I can brush past him. I turn in a slow circle noticing the sleek look of the room. Shiny black and white furniture is complimented by deep shades of red.

" Wow," Olivia murmurs, and I smile nodding my head in agreement.

" There's a bathroom just across the hall, plenty of fresh towels. Olivia feel free to make yourself at home there's a pool out back if you feel like going for a swim. Brooke, their waiting for us in the studio," Michael says and I nod my head as I set my bags down.

" I'll see you later Liv," I murmur heading back to the door, laughing when Olivia calls behind us.

" Have fun you two," she calls and I shake my head as Michael and I fall into step next to each other.

" See that wasn't so bad was it?" Michael murmurs nudging me with his elbow.

" Oh I wouldn't get too sure of yourself yet Michael, just wait until she corners you, mark my words it will happen," I say grinning at him madly as I walk through the door he holds open for me laughing when a pained look crosses his face.

* * *

I rub at my temples as I watch Michael paces the sound booth, his arms crossed over his chest.

" Michael," I say, trying to keep hold on my bubbling annoyance which only grows to a higher level when he holds a hand up instantly silencing me.

" Brooke, I know your tired, but I need you to try harder," Michael murmurs his eyes clouded, a far away look in them.

" I'm doing the best that I can," I growl out through clenched teeth.

" That's not good enough. I need more emotion, more passion. I know you have it in you, I saw it the night I watched you sing, now give it to me," he demands and I roll my eyes throwing my hands in the air.

" We've been doing the same damn song for the last six hours Michael, I'm tired and hungry, I cant do it anymore," I argue, pulling the headphones off hanging them on the music stand.

" We're going to keep doing it until you get it right. I just need one good recording Brooke," he says, his voice hinting with slight anger. I run my fingers through my hair. I knew from the beginning that working with Michael was going to have its hard moments, I just didn't think I would want to throttle him this early on, " Okay look we'll take a break okay. Kyle, Paul take a break, fifteen minutes." I sigh heading for the door of the sound booth. " Not you Brooke, I want to talk to you." I groan turning to look at him.

" Can I at least have some water?" I ask barely resisting the urge to flip him off and walk out. I follow him into the studio taking the water bottle he hands me from the small refrigerator. I sit down on the couch drinking deeply.

" I'm sorry Brooke, I know I shouldn't be so hard on you, its just, this song is so important to me, and I need just a little bit more from you," he says his eyes sincere.

" I'm trying Michael," I murmur, rubbing my hand over my chest a sharp pain running through me.

" I know, just relax. Lean forward and close your eyes," he says, and I look at him like he's crazy, " Trust me on this, it works." I roll my eyes leaning forward bracing my elbows on my knee's closing my eyes, "Okay I need you to think about a single memory, the hardest and saddest thing you have ever dealt with, and I need you to focus on that moment. I need that memory to transfer into this moment" His words wash over me and all too easily the memories flash before my eyes. My eyes tighten as I struggle away from the memory.

" Michael please," I plead, tensing instinctively when Michael's hand rests on my shoulders, the breath hitching in my chest.

" It's okay Brooke, use that tension, hold onto that tension and pain, now open your eyes and lets finish this." I open my eyes slowly blindly walking into the sound booth. Michael's voice echoes through the sound booth over the intercom. " Now sing Brooke," he says, and I look up at him through the glass tears swimming in my eyes as I open my mouth and sing. When the music ends I hear the door opening slowly.

" You did it, it was perfect," Michael says, racing towards me hugging me tightly. My stomach drops to the pit of my stomach as I struggle against him.

" Let me go," I say, pushing away from him, " Don't touch me, just don't touch me."

" Brooke, what's the matter?" he asks, " You did it, you don't have to cry."

" You got what you wanted, now leave me alone," I scream racing out of the studio my breathes tearing out of me. I make it to the pool house before I collapse to my knees clutching my sides as I struggle to breathe.

" Brooke?" Olivia's voice calls out and I hear the faint sound of water splashing before her cool hands on my shoulders. I hear approaching footsteps and look up with swimming eyes pleading silently with Olivia. She turns her head when Michael's voice cuts through the night air.

" Brooke, Brooke what's the matter?," he asks, Olivia cutting him off quickly.

" What did you do to her?" she demands helping me shakily to my feet. I cling to her, letting her wrap her arm tightly around my waist as I cry bitter tears.

" Nothing, we were recording and she wasn't giving me what I needed so I used an exercise on her that always works for me," he explains his voice filled with anxiety, " All I did was ask her to use her most painful memory, I needed the emotion, the passion."

" God you're an idiot," Olivia mutters walking with me quickly back to the house, leaving a confused and worried Michael behind us.


	8. Chapter 8: Forget About It And Me

**Author's Note: Read, Enjoy, REVIEW!**

**Chapter 8: Forget About It And Me**

_" Secrets are made to be found out with time."-Charles Sanford._

* * *

I wake slowly, my eyes fluttering against the sunlight that filters into the room. I groan sitting up, my head spinning. _'Damn Xanax,' _I think to myself looking around. I notice Olivia sound asleep next to me, slipping out of bed my stomach growls proof of the fact that I didn't have dinner. Last night was one of the worst nights that I have had in a long time, and what's worse I took it out on Michael. Maybe this arrangement just isn't going to work out after all. I sigh as I slip out of the room closing the door silently behind me as I venture out to find the kitchen. I take my time, studying the art that hangs on the walls my fingers itching to reach out and touch some of the pieces. I walk into the kitchen sighing with contentment when I find it empty. I take a shiny apple from the bowl on the counter rubbing it against my shirt nonchalantly before hopping up on the counter taking a bite.

" Mornin,'" a familiar shy voice calls out as I choke on my apple viciously. I turn peering over my shoulder my pulse quickening when I see that its Michael, standing against the doorway his shirt soaked with sweat evidence of his morning run.

" Hi," I whisper suddenly losing my appetite, " Listen I'm sorry about last night. I've been thinking, I don't know if its such a good idea that I work on this album after all." I listen to the silence waiting for him to whole heartedly agree and then give me the boot, hoping he'll at least let me gather my sleeping best friend and things before kicking me out of his home and life.

" Your not quitting," he replies, pulling a bottle of water from the fridge drinking from it deeply, " But your going to be honest with me."

" I have been honest with you," I say, my voice guarded as I refuse to meet his eyes.

" What happened to you Brooke? What did you remember that was so horrible that you would have a full blown panic attack?" he asks, and I close my eyes wishing I had just packed my bags and left before it came to this, " Does it have anything to do with that scar?" I look up at him his eyes focusing on the jagged scar that I had forgotten to cover up.

" That isn't any of your business," I reply covering myself quickly as I slide off of the counter, Michael catching my arm before I can escape from the kitchen and his speculating thoughts.

" It is my business. Your working for me so I need to know if your going to be reliable," he says, and I yank my hand from his hold.

" I'll be reliable as long as you don't butt into my past, there's a reason why you don't know," I hiss, crossing my arms tightly around myself.

" Why is that?" he asks, and I turn to stare at him.

" It's simple Michael, there are some things that not even you would be able to handle, and I'm one of them," I say, walking from the kitchen, coming here was a big mistake.

* * *

I sit in Olivia's car, fresh sunshine spilling over us as we drive down the freeway. She hasn't said a word, and that worries me. When I told her that we were leaving she wordlessly packed her things and we left, no fuss, no begging me to stay. It was all very, odd, all things considered. After all this is Olivia we're talking about. Michael's biggest fan. We were staying in his house. I expected some sort of struggle to get her to leave.

" Brooke," Olivia murmurs as she reaches over turning off her stereo.

" Hmm," I say, looking over at her, her usually smiling face screwed up in concern.

" Maybe you should tell Michael," she says, and I shake my head rapidly back and forth.

" No, he doesn't have to know," I say, putting my feet up on the dashboard.

" Will you hear me out? I'm just saying if you tell him maybe he will understand that there are just some things that cant be said or done with you. I mean what are you going to do Brooke? Hop yourself up on Xanax everytime you go to work with him? You know how you get when your on that stuff, its like your not even you anymore, you just sit and stare," she says, and I roll my eyes running my hands through my hair.

" Liv, I know your coming from a good place I do, but nobody but you and me and a few other people know, I would like to keep it that way," I say, my voice heating with slight anger. " Brooke, all he has to do is search your name on Google and he'll find out," she counters and I cringe at the thought.

" Yeah well lets hope he doesn't do that," I murmur, turning my eyes to the window the scenery flashing before me blindly.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I stand in the doorway of the room that Brooke and Olivia had shared, trying hard not to take this whole thing too personally. My heart aches when I remember the look of sheer pain and terror on Brooke's face when she ran from the recording studio last night, the dead calm in Olivia's voice when she called me an idiot. How did that work? One minute she is bundle of nerves and excitement at the mere mention of my name the next minute I'm an idiot? I sigh heavily, running my hands over my face as I start shutting the door, when something catches my attention. Brooke's laptop sits on the small table in the room. I walk forward my fingers running over the smooth surface. Maybe the answers I'm looking for aren't so far away.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I open the trunk of the car tearing through everything, sending my duffle bag to the concrete with a thud, followed by papers, and clothes.

" Are you kidding me?" I scream, my heart hammering in my chest. This cant be happening to me.

" Brooke, what is going on?" Olivia asks, resting against the side of the car stretching slowly.

" I cant find my laptop," I say, slamming the trunk furiously.

" Well if it isn't in the car that means, its back at," she says slowly and I nod my head running my hands through my hair furiously.

" Neverland," I murmur finishing her sentence for her.

" Well that's no big deal," she says and I whirl on her.

" No big deal? All of my work is on there, everything is on that computer Liv, everything," I say, looking at her, her eyes widening when she realizes what I'm talking about.

" Wait when you say everything you mean everything," she says, and I nod my head.

" This cant be happening," I groan, kicking the rear tire with as much force as I can muster.

" What are you going to do?" she asks, as I pace furiously.

" I'm going back, I cant risk him finding out, at least not this way," I mutter, pulling my purse from the car.

" Do you want me to go with you?" she calls after me, and I turn to look at her.

" No, I have to do this alone," I call back, climbing into my car. Maybe I can get my laptop without Michael even knowing I was there, I hope.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I sit on my bed, Brooke's laptop sitting open before me. I have been staring at this screen for an hour, trying to decide if I really want to do this. Do I really want to invade her privacy this way? Do I really want to do this to her? When I have to fight every second of the day for my own? I shake my head, of course I don't, but if she would just open up and tell me what's going on with her. What could be so painful? The only painful thing she has hinted to in her past is not making her parents happy, and as hurtful as something like that can be it's not earth shattering. An icon catches my attention the words _'my story' _standing out against the simple black background. My finger hovers over the touch pad, and just when I think of how easy it would be to just click it, I stop myself. I cant do this, not like this. I have to wait, Brooke has to be the one to tell me. I close the laptop quickly, carrying it with me into the kitchen setting it down on the counter. By now she would have realized that her computer was left behind. I pick up the phone dialing her number.

' _You've reached Brooke's phone, sorry I missed you, leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can…beep.' _

" _Hey Brooke, its Michael, you uhm, you left your laptop here, so I was thinking I'll drive it up to you, since I know you need it for school. Call me back as soon as you get this," _I say, hanging up the phone. Well if Brooke wont answer me, I know Olivia will, even if I am an _'idiot.'_

" Hello," Olivia's sleep slurred voice rings through the phone.

" Hey Olivia its Michael, listen, Brooke left her laptop," I start saying when Olivia yawns loudly in my ear.

" Yeah I know, she's on her way to get it. Just tell me you haven't read anything on it," she mutters and I instantly feel guilty. Of course I didn't read anything on it, but I wanted too.

" No, no I wouldn't do that," I say running my hands over my hair.

" Good. Listen I'm sorry about last night, calling you an idiot and all, I didn't mean it. Brooke, she just, I'm all she has, and I'm protective of her," she says and I grin sliding up onto the counter.

" I understand, no hard feelings. Can I ask you something?" I say, waiting for a reply.

" I all ready know what your going to ask Michael, and I would tell you but I cant. That's up to Brooke," she says, and I sigh harshly, " But I can give you a hint. Just Google the newspaper archives for The Star in Wilmington, North Carolina." The phone goes dead before I can question her any further. What could be in the newspaper archives that Brooke wouldn't want me to know? I slip off of the counter walking into my office, guess there's only one way to find out now.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I stare at Michael's front door numbly. How hard could it be to knock on a door? I jingle my keys nervously in my hands, wishing that I hadn't been in such a damn hurry earlier. If Michael hadn't pissed me off by pushing to find out what was going on with me I wouldn't have to be here, scared to death over knocking on a stupid door. I take a deep breath knocking quickly. I step back turning around wrapping my arms around myself as I wait.

" Brooke?" a questioning voice says and I whirl around smiling when I see Max.

" Hey, uhm, I left my laptop," I say, and I walk past him as he steps aside.

" Oh okay well, hey where are you going?" Max calls out as I walk quickly towards the room Olivia and I had shared.

" Getting my computer," I call back pushing the door open, my heart sinking when its not sitting on the table right where I left it. " Where is it?"

" I think Michael has it," Max says from behind me, and I turn slowly my heart pounding so loudly that blood whirls in my ears.

" Where is he?" I ask calmly and he points me in the opposite direction. I race down the hall running into Michael's office. I stop suddenly, eyeing my closed laptop sitting right next to him as he stares at his computer screen. He lifts his eyes slowly, and I notice the way that they swim.

" Brooke," Michael whispers, and I walk forward reaching out for my computer.

" I just came to get my laptop," I mutter, Michael's hand resting on mine before I can pick up my computer and leave.

" What happened Brooke? What did he do to you?" he asks and my blood runs cold.

" I don't know what your talking about Michael," I answer numbly, my brain shutting down as I disconnect from my emotions afraid of being completely overwhelmed.

" I googled it Brooke, Olivia, she," he says, and I grab my laptop quickly running from the room Michael not far behind me, " Brooke wait please." I turn quickly my eyes swimming as I try and steady myself.

" Listen Michael, just let it go, okay. Just forget about it and me," I stammer as I slam into my car. Olivia is going to have to answer for this. My best friend, the one person in this world that I could rely on for anything, for everything, and she betrayed me? Life as I know it, has just become a hell of a lot harder.


	9. Chapter 9: He's Up To Something

**Author's Note: Read, Enjoy, REVIEW!**

**Chapter 9: He's Up To Something…**

_" Everyone could use a friend."-Unknown_

* * *

I race up the stairs my feet pounding against the stone steps, Michael not that far behind me. I thought that I had shook him in traffic, unfortunately for me his car was quick enough to keep up with me. Stupid, slow car of mine.

" Brooke," Michael calls somewhat breathlessly from behind me, but I ignore him as I slam into my apartment, Olivia jumping by the noise.

" Whoa slow down woman, your going to give me a heart attack," Olivia says her smile fading when she see's the look on my face.

" What did you tell him?" I scream, my body vibrating as I stare at her.

" Nothing what are you talking about Brooke?" she asks, her voice growing worried.

" You know what I'm talking about. What did you tell him?" I ask, my voice hitching out of me barely, as I gasp for air.

" She didn't tell me anything Brooke," Michael says from behind me, making my heart pound harder.

" He's right, I didn't tell him anything Brooke, but I should have. Brooke your going to have to let someone else in eventually," she says and I roll my eyes as I throw my hands in the air.

" I know that Olivia, but the last time I checked this is my life, I could have sworn that I get to choose who to let in and who to keep out," I growl out, my eyes watering fiercely.

" Of course you get to choose, I just helped you along with it. Brooke, I wont be around forever," she says and I shake my head.

" What are you talking about, of course you will be," I mutter wiping my face quickly.

" No I wont. I was going to tell you, but then you were so upset with everything that happened. I got into the fashion school in Paris, I'll be leaving in a few weeks," she says and I stare at her dumbly.

" Oh, wow, well congratulations," I say, trying to muster a smile.

" Brooke, please, I know that its going to be hard, and if I could I would take you with me, but I cant," she says stepping towards me as I start crying.

" I, I just need to be alone," I say, walking quickly to find refuge in my room. I shut the door flipping on my stereo turning it up loudly as I cry into my hands. Now what am I supposed to do?

* * *

I hold the picture frame in my hands, smiling at the younger version of Olivia and me staring back at me. She's been my best friend since we were in diapers. Everything I have done has been with her. Prom, teepeeing our history teachers house, snowball fights, days at the beach, all of it, every memory has Olivia wrapped up in it. And now she's leaving. I clutch the picture to my chest, trying to stifle the tears as a soft knock comes on the door.

" Hey," Olivia calls out and I lift my head, staring at her.

" Hey," I murmur back, trying to stop the tears with the back of my hand.

" You okay?" she asks her voice breaking slightly as I shake my head.

" No, I'm scared," I whisper, crying as she hugs me tightly. I bury my head against her shoulder and cry, letting myself give into the emotions warring inside of me.

" So am I," she murmurs, and I hold onto her like she is the only thing keeping me tethered to this world.

" I'm so proud of you Livy, but I don't know how I'm supposed to live my life without you," I mutter, pulling away to stare at her.

" Hey, its not like we will never see each other again, and we'll talk all the time," she says and I smile weakly.

" It wont be the same," I murmur, shaking my head.

" I know. Brooke, come here," she says hugging me closely. I hug her tightly, what do you do when you don't want to say good bye?

* * *

" I wonder if Michael is still here," Olivia says some time later and I groan at the idea of him sitting alone in our living room.

" I hope not," I murmur, sitting up slowly on the bed realizing that night had all ready fallen. Olivia and I walk arm in arm out of my room, stopping, frozen in our tracks when Michael looks up at us.

" Guess that answers that question," I murmur, overcome by a sudden burst of giggles.

" Guess so. Listen I'm going to get some dinner, I have the strongest craving for pizza, so uhm yeah," Olivia say, grabbing her purse rushing from the door before I can protest. I run my hands through my hair, tugging at my shirt nervously.

" So," I say, cursing the fact that I cant think of anything else to say.

" I'm sorry Brooke, I shouldn't have," he says, and I just shake my head.

" Don't apologize please, lets just consider it water under the bridge," I say, walking to the fridge as Michael lets out a heavy sigh.

" Okay, well I'll just be going," he says, walking towards the door.

" You don't have too. Why don't you stay, have dinner," I say, caught off guard by my own invitation.

" Are you sure?" he asks, and I nod my head slowly. Maybe Olivia's right, maybe I do need to let someone in and maybe it should be Michael. Who better to understand pain then him?

" So, when do you leave Olivia?" Michael asks, pulling a piece of pizza from the box taking a huge bite. I stare at him wide eyed, that's his sixth piece, I have never before seen someone eat so much. Not even Olivia's brother Mark. And believe me, Mark can eat with the best of them.

" In three weeks," Olivia says, picking up her plate walking into the kitchen, my heart aching in my chest at the thought of her leaving.

" Paris is beautiful," he murmurs and I smile. He would know.

" So I hear, hey Brooke, can you put a movie on," she asks and I nod my head unfolding myself from the couch, thumbing through our shared DVD collection.

" What are you in the mood for?" I ask, looking over my shoulder, waiting for a reply.

" I don't know, what about you Michael? Any preferences?" she asks, and I look over at Michael, his eyes widening.

" Oh, actually I was just going to get out of your way," he says, and Olivia lets out a small chuckle.

" Oh no your not. See you have participated in one part of our Sunday routine, you have to participate in the rest," she says, clearing up the pizza boxes and paper plates.

" Oh well, uhm," he murmurs nervously and I roll my eyes.

" No pressure Olivia, I found one to watch," I say, picking out E.T.

" E.T?" Michael asks, and I nod my head.

" Its one of my favorites, and its funny because Olivia is secretly still scared of him," I murmur, laughing when Olivia tosses the roll of paper towels at me from the kitchen.

" Am not," she whines when she sits on the end of the couch crossing her arms.

" Yeah she is," I say, starting the movie laughing the whole time at Olivia's soft stream of curses.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I walk slowly to my car, Olivia walking beside me her blonde hair ruffled from sleep.

" You didn't have to walk me down," I murmur, smiling when she yawns shaking her head.

" Yes I did, I wanted the chance to talk to you," Olivia says, leaning against the car next to mine.

" Okay," I say jiggling my keys in my hand. I watch as she nervously runs her hands through her hair.

" Look, Brooke's going to need someone when I'm gone, and I don't know why but my heart is telling me that its you she's going to need. So I need you to know that I'm making the right choice, trusting my best friend with you," she says her eyes swimming with tears. I don't know why, but her words touch me, as I pull her into my arms.

" Of course you can trust me with her," I say, hugging her closely.

" Good, because if you hurt her in any way, I'll have to fly my happy ass back here and hurt you," she threatens weakly as she walks away. I climb into my car, gripping the steering wheel, I didn't realize until know how much I want to be the one that Brooke will depend on.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

Two weeks and six days have flown by so fast. Between classes, and finals I find myself sitting on Olivia's bedroom floor helping her pack up the last of her things.

" Do you really have to leave?" I ask, knowing that I all ready know the answer to my own question.

" Yes Brooke, I do," Olivia says, sighing when she tapes up the last box.

" But it isn't fair," I whine, and she smiles at me sympathetically.

" I know, but life is never fair," she murmurs, and I sit back on my hands, taking in how empty her room looks. The only things being left behind are her bed and a few other pieces of furniture.

" Well best friend, what should we do tonight?" she asks, pulling me up from the floor.

" I don't know. I was thinking we should just stay in, you have such an early flight tomorrow," I offer, walking into the living room sitting on the couch next to Olivia when a rapid knock on the door causes us both to jump.

" Who could that be?" Olivia asks, skipping towards the door. I shrug my shoulders turning so that I can see who it is. She pulls open the door and let's out a squeal as she throws her arms around an un-expecting Michael. " What are you doing here?"

" Well I couldn't just let you leave tomorrow without saying good bye," Michael says, closing the door softly behind him. I smile at them, happy to see him. The last two weeks have been spent split between school and working with Michael. Olivia going with me everytime I've had to go out to Neverland. It was amazing how quickly she got over her fanatical behavior where Michael was concerned.

" Aww your so sweet, isn't he sweet Brookey?" Olivia asks in a baby voice, and I laugh when Michael smiles shyly.

" I also came to steal you two away," Michael says, and Olivia and I exchange confused looks.

" Where exactly are we going? Its almost one in the afternoon on a Thursday," I say, feeling kind of disgruntled by the idea of not having alone time with my best friend before she moves half way across the world.

" That's for me to know and you two to find out. Go, get dressed," he says pushing Olivia and I towards my room. I shoot a confused look over my shoulder, Michael winking at me. He's up to something, and I wonder just what it is.


	10. Chapter 10: Not So Bad Afterall

**Author's Note: Read, enjoy, REVIEW!**

**Chapter 10: Not So Bad After All**

_"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends." ~Richard Bach_

* * *

I stare at the gates of Disneyland. Seriously? Disneyland? Its official Michael Jackson is in fact, without a doubt, a glutton for punishment. I can guarantee we will make it two steps into the park if that, and there will be a horde of hormone riddled girls chasing him for the rest of the afternoon.

" I haven't been to Disneyland in so long, I'm so excited, aren't you excited," Olivia asks, tugging on the sleeve of my shirt.

" Overjoyed," I murmur, laughing when Olivia rolls her eyes at me.

" What's the matter?" she asks, and I stare at the back of Michael's head, his hat pulled low over his face.

" You realize that in about two seconds people are going to start noticing who he is and there are going to be waves up waves of _'Olivia's' _chasing him through Disneyland," I whisper, looking around to see if anyone has noticed him yet.

" Oh please it will be fine Brooke, just stop worrying, lets have fun," she says, and before I can say anything Michael turns to us handing us our tickets a huge smile on his face.

" Come on," Michael says, grabbing Olivia and me dragging us behind him as he pulls us through the gates.

" Hold on, we need to document this amazing experience," Olivia says, pulling out her digital camera. We stand close, the three of us, our heads pressed together huge cheesy grins on our faces and as soon as the camera flashes a shrill scream comes from somewhere to our right.

" Oh my God, its MJ!" a high pitched scream resounds around us and I exchange looks with Michael and Olivia before we turn holding on to each other running as fast as we can laughter tearing from our chests.

* * *

I laugh uncontrollably almost falling when Olivia hops on my back.

" Oh I'm so happy, this is so much fun, ooo, can we have some cotton candy Brooke," Olivia says, her words running together as she talks excitedly in my ear, her arms tightening around my throat, " Please, please, please."

" Sure Liv, but I cant breathe," I says laughing when Olivia suddenly lets go, falling on her butt.

" Ouch," she giggles out and I collapse to the ground laughing right along with her, " Ahh Brooke, I haven't seen you this happy in so long. Where's Michael?" she asks her mouth moving a mile a minute.

" I have no idea," I say, realizing that our game of keep up has us officially lost.

" Psst," someone calls out to us and I look around catching a glimpse of Michael's face peaking out from a cluster of bushes, his dark eyes darting back and forth as he checks to see if the coast is clear. I tap on Olivia's shoulder as I point towards the bush that Michael is currently occupying. I shake my head as I walk towards him pulling him from his hiding spot.

" What in the world are you doing?" I ask, watching as he dusts himself off.

" Hiding. Everything was going great after we got off of The Pirates of The Caribbean and then someone noticed me, it was either jump in the bushes or risk having my clothes ripped off my body," Michael mutters pulling his hat even lower over his face.

" I tried telling you but did anyone want to listen to me NO," I say giggling as I bask in the fact that for once I was right.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah, enough banter you two. There are still so many rides to ride, so little time, lets go," Olivia says tugging both Michael and me behind her.

* * *

My entire body loosens up as I sink into the couch in our living room glancing at the clock. Ugh, four o'clock in the morning, no point in even going to sleep, Olivia leaves in two hours. Two hours and my best friend, my constant rock will be leaving, going half way around the world to pursue her dreams. That fact sinks in and I feel the dark clouds rolling in. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond happy for her, for her going after her dreams. I have watched her work so hard for the last two years to achieve this, to achieve her dreams, and Lord knows that she is has been there supporting me. But, it doesn't change the fact that the idea of living my day to day life without Olivia by my side scares the hell out of me.

" Seriously, I don't think I have had that much fun in I don't know how long," Olivia says laughing as she shuts the door behind her and Michael.

" Well I'm glad that you had fun," Michael says setting down a bag of souvenirs that Olivia insisted on buying, onto the counter. Olivia hops over the back of the couch landing softly next to me.

" What about you Brookey-Bee, did you have fun?" Olivia asks, and I smile nodding my head.

" Surprisingly, yeah. I have to say though, the funniest thing ever was seeing all of the places Michael would hide," I say laughing hysterically as the memory of Michael dipping into the woman's bathroom to get away from a particularly rabid group of fans stands out the most. Michael blushes furiously as he sits down across from us.

" Yeah that was pretty funny," Olivia says giggling as she buries her head into the back of the couch.

" Oh sure laugh it up you two," Michael groans which only makes us laugh harder. Suddenly the laughter dies between us and we study each other.

" Two hours, that's all the time we have left," Olivia says, her voice growing thick as I fight the urge to cry.

" I know," I murmur, fiddling with my hands trying to hide the fact that they shake.

" Well, I'm going to go jump in the shower before I completely lose it and decide to stay and unpack," she says, hopping up from the couch shutting herself away in her half empty room.

" Damn," I mutter burying my head in my hands.

" Brooke," Michael murmurs but I just shake my head as I get up from the couch walking into my own room leaving Michael to sit alone in the living room.

* * *

I sit on my bed, my journal opened as I press pen to paper. How do I tell someone who means so much to me just how much they mean when the thought of them being gone makes me sick. I close my eyes taking a deep breath realizing that now is the only chance I'm going to get to tell her everything I need to say.

'_Livy-Love, _

_Wow, where do I begin. It's been a crazy ride my friend. Thinking back at all the crazy things we did together makes me smile. Like the times that we would sneak away to the mall in hopes of seeing cute guys, or the time we almost got arrested when we teepeed Miss. Hanover's house because she gave me a D on my paper, do you remember that? All the good memories are what I will hold close to me for the rest of my life, but even more than that I will remember the way you stood by me when everything went bad. You were the only person to tell me that I would be beautiful again, that what happened to me wouldn't define me as a person. You were there every step of the way when I tried my hardest to push you away. There will never be enough ways to say thank you, so I wont even try to find them. I will just leave you with this promise. Forever. Don't forget that okay? I love you Livy-Love, and I am beyond proud of you for chasing your dreams. _

_Love Always, _

_Brookey-Bee.'_

I stare at the words on the paper sniffling as I fold the paper around a few pictures that I want her to have, sliding it into an envelope. I get up, quickly changing before walking out of the room noticing that Olivia has moved all of her luggage to the front room. Michael smiles at me from his seat, listening as Olivia chatters at him. I smile back slipping the envelope into the front of her black and purple polka dotted carry on.

" Ready to go?" I ask, slipping my arms around Olivia.

" Yeah I guess so," Olivia says, getting up from the couch, " Michael offered to drive us." I stare at Michael feeling somewhat surprised.

" Oh okay," I murmur, pulling some of Olivia's luggage behind me.

My stomach rolls mercilessly as we walk through the airport. I have been secretly hoping that something would have happened, like maybe her flight got delayed or canceled. No such luck. I hand Olivia her carry on as we reach the security check line.

" Well I guess this is it," Olivia says, and I cringe as I throw my arms around her, " I'm going to miss you Brookey-Bee."

" I'm going to miss you too Livy-Love," I murmur, burying my face in her shoulder, refusing to cry.

" Okay, we aren't going to do this, we'll see each other again," she says pulling away to smile at me even as tears spill down her cheeks.

" Your right. Text me before you take off, and when you land and get to the school okay?" I urge, holding her hand tight in mine.

" Yes Mom," she jokes and I grin as I wipe my hands over my face. I step back watching Michael hug my best friend, a slow smile spreading over his face as she whispers something into his ear.

" I love you," I call out to Olivia as she moves up in the line.

" Always," she calls back smiling shakily at me.

" Forever," I call back turning away to walk out of the airport my heart breaking with every step that I take. Who would have thought that good bye could hurt so damn much.

* * *

The car is silent as the tears fall silently down my face, my eyes hidden behind my sunglasses.

" You okay?" Michael's voice rings through the car low and soothing. I turn my face to look at him, shaking my head slowly.

" No, but I will be. Thank you, for everything. It meant a lot to Olivia to do something crazy before she left," I say, unbuckling my seat belt as he pulls into the parking garage, " It meant a lot to me too."

" It was my pleasure. I uhm, I can come up stay for a while if you want," he says, turning the car off. Part of me screams to tell him yes, I don't want to be alone, not now, but the stubborn side of me tells me that for right now I just need to be alone to sulk.

" No its okay, I'm just going to go up and crash anyways," I say, opening the door slowly when Michael catches my wrist in his hand.

" Brooke, I hope you know I'm here for you, whenever you need me," he says, and I nod my head. I shut the door lightly before walking up the stairs slowly. I sigh as I slide the key into the door shutting it behind me. It feels different now, knowing that Olivia's gone. I toss my keys onto the counter as I walk slowly into my bedroom, noticing the envelope sitting on my pillow. I pick it up with shaking hands immediately recognizing Liv's handwriting. I sit on my bed heavily, opening the letter slowly, smiling when a few pictures fall out.

" Great minds think alike," I murmur, flipping through the pictures smiling when the last few are ones that were taken at Disneyland. Michael donning a Goofy hat, while Olivia and I stand on either side of him Mini-Mouse ears on our heads. Another of just Michael, staring up at Sleeping Beauty's Castle and I turn it over reading the small words written on the back.

'_Don't shut him out.'_

I smile as I set the pictures aside, picking up the letter.

'_Brookey-Bee, _

_If your reading this then I chickened out on chickening out, if that makes any sense at all, well nonetheless you'll understand what I mean. Part of me feels so guilty for leaving you, but the bigger part of me tells me you would have killed me if I didn't take this chance. I'm going to miss you Brooke. The late night ice cream parties, stupid movie Sundays, all of it. I'm going to miss hearing you play your guitar at two in the morning when you cant sleep, and the way you would yell at me when I would leave less than a swallow of juice in the carton and proceed to put it back in the fridge. _

_I need you to remember something Brooke, you are beautiful. Inside and out. You have one of the most generous hearts that I have ever seen, and I am begging you not to shut yourself away. Look at this as an experiment. I have been your security net for the last two years Brooke, now, now its your turn to do things on your own. I know that you have it in you love, you just have to believe that you do. What happened to you will not define who Brooke Elisabeth Nichols is and will be. _

_I love you girly. Always. That's a promise I have every intention of keeping. _

_Love, _

_Livy. _

_P.S Don't shut Michael out, it may sound crazy, but I have a good feeling about him, and its not just because he's devastatingly gorgeous either *wink wink* _

_P.S.S PLEASE DON'T TELL MICHAEL THAT I SAID THAT ABOUT HIM!'_

I giggle as I wipe my hands over my face pressing my best friends letter to my chest. Leave it to Olivia to make what seems like the end of the world, not such a bad thing after all.


	11. Chapter 11: Unfixable

**Author's Note: Read, Enjoy, REVIEW!**

**Chapter 11: Unfixable**

_" Memories forever haunting, memories I cant kill,"-From the poem Unfixable, by Just Sierra. _

* * *

I roll over groaning the sound of my phone ringing shrilly in my ear. I blink my eyes slowly trying to clear my vision to see what time it is. Seven? How is it possible that I slept for twelve hours? I answer my phone trying to stifle my yawning.

" Hello," I say, stretching slowly.

" _Bonjour,_ Brooke," Olivia's sweet and happy voice flows through the phone making me grin.

" Liv, how was the flight? How's the school?" I ask, sliding out of bed as I walk through the apartment.

" The flight was great, long, but good. I sat next to this really amazing guy, his name is Alexander, so hot girl," she says and I smile as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

" Leave it to you Olivia," I tease lightly as I drink deeply from the bottle.

" Hey I don't ask for it to happen, it just kind of happens," she says, " So what if I switched seats with a few people in order to sit next to him." A giggle bursts through my lips at the thought of Olivia finagling with perfect strangers to get what she wanted.

" Whatever you say Liv. So how's Paris?" I ask, hopping up onto the counter crossing my legs as I listen to her chatter on.

" Okay Brookey-Bee, I'm going to go now, its almost four thirty in the morning, I love you, ciao," she says and I say my good bye's as I hang up the phone. I stare around the apartment wondering what to do now. I turn my head from side to side, looking around my apartment. It seems so empty now without Olivia. I sigh heavily sliding from the counter walking to my room.

* * *

Two weeks later I sit in the middle of the apartment trying not to hyperventilate. With Olivia gone keeping up on rent is going to be impossible, the evidence is right in front of me. Twelve hundred dollars for rent was feasible when there were two of us splitting the responsibility.

" What am I going to do?" I murmur, pushing the stacks of papers away from me. Any way that I put it, it just wouldn't work. Even if I were to knock my diet to nothing but top ramen and yogurt there is just no way that I'll be able to make the rent on my own. My phone rings making me jump.

" Hello," I grumble rubbing at the headache that's pounding in my temples.

" Brookey-Bee," Olivia sings through the phone.

" Hey," I murmur, laying my head back to stare at the ceiling.

" What's the matter?" she asks and I roll my eyes, nothing gets by her does it?

" Just realized that with you gone there is no way that I am going to be able to make rent," I sigh, " Even if I were to eat nothing but top ramen and yogurt for the rest of the lease I wont be able to make it."

" Ahh Brooke, I'm sorry," she says her voice ringing with guilt, " I didn't even think about that before I left. I can send some money."

" No, don't even think about it. I'll figure it out. If anything I can just downsize to a one bedroom, or better yet I hear that there is a free spot available under the overpass," I say laughing darkly at my own cynical joke.

" Stop it Brooke, please let me help," she says and I roll my eyes.

" No," I say simply and the sudden silence tells me she is dropping the subject.

" Anyways, how is the album going?" she asks and I smile at the thought of Michael.

" Good. Great actually. I'm telling you Brooke, this album is going to be insanely good. Nobody has ever heard anything like this," I murmur as I pace the apartment, " I cant believe that I'm going to say this, but it's going to be epic Liv."

" How much time do you spend out at the ranch?" she asks and I close my eyes thinking.

" I don't know, I stayed there the last two weekends, and then I go out there at lest three days during the week," I say, realizing suddenly that I spend a good chunk of my time with Michael, locked away in his studio.

" Hmm. Okay well I got to go Brooke, I'll call you soon bye," she says suddenly hanging up the phone before I even have a chance to say anything. I stare at the phone in my hand, before tossing it down. I pick up my laptop sitting on the couch as I wait for it to boot up. I look around the apartment my heart aching slightly at the idea of having to leave.

* * *

I slam my laptop shut in frustration, I have called at least sixteen different apartments that have listing available online only to find out either _**A.**_Those apartments aren't available anymore, or _**B. **_the rent posted has skyrocketed due to the downward spiral the economy is currently on. I pace around the living room my heart hammering wildly against my ribs as I start to panic. There's no way I will be able to make rent, and pay bills. I have no one to fall back on now that Olivia is gone. No one to tell me that everything is going to be okay, just breathe. I press my hands to my chest as pain rips through me knocking the wind from my lungs. If I hadn't quit that job, everything would be okay. If I wouldn't have been driven to empty my savings account last month to cover my part of rent, and insurance I wouldn't be in this predicament. If I hadn't signed a stupid contract with Michael agreeing that I wouldn't get paid for the work I do on the album until the album is done I would be flying free without a worry in the world. Of course I could always ask for an advance, but I cant do that. Why? Because I'm too proud, and lets face it what does Michael know about not being able to pay rent. My stomach heaves as my anxiety levels rise through the roof, the room feeling as if its closing around me, when a knock on the door catches me off guard. I pull open the door trying to clamp down on my bubbling hysteria.

" Brooke?" Michael says his eyes scanning over me as I nervously bunch my hands into my shirt, " Are you okay?"

" No, no I'm not okay. This isn't a good time Michael," I say, whirling away from the door so that I can pace the living room.

" What's wrong?" he asks, closing the door silently behind him.

" Everything Michael. I cant make rent on my own, every apartment I have called either isn't available or the rent is still to high for me to cover, I have no money left in savings because well lets face it since I quiet my job, that's been the only thing to keep me going. But what would you know about having nowhere to go, you've been set for life since you turned thirteen," I say my voice raising as I lose whatever slippery control that I have.

" Brooke, its going to be okay, that's why I came to see you," he says, his eyes looking into mine deeply.

" What are you talking about?" I ask trying to breathe.

" Olivia called me," he says, and I groan. Even half a world away and Olivia still doesn't know how to just let me figure things out for myself, " Don't get angry okay? I was thinking about this even before she called and said you were in trouble."

" Thinking about what?" I ask, my voice rough with anger as the room spins around me.

" I want you to move in with me Brooke," he says, and everything goes quiet as I stare at him, " I mean it makes sense. You stay at the ranch five days a week anyways, this way at least until the album is done you wont have to worry about rent, and when it comes time for you to move out you'll have the money to find a place." Fear courses through me at the idea of living with Michael.

" I cant," I stammer, clutching onto the counter.

" Why not?" he asks, and I shake my head.

" Because I'm scared of you Michael okay!," I scream out a look of torment crossing his face as I admit to him the truth.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

Scared? She's scared? I watch as Brooke clutches the counter her knuckles turning white as her chest heaves. I can't help but laugh, nobody has ever been scared of me, not even my younger siblings.

" Don't laugh," Brooke growls, her voice thick as I realize that she is serious. I clear my throat wiping damp palms against my black jeans.

" Brooke, what is there to be afraid of?" I ask, holding my hands up palm out to her, indicating that its just me. The same man she met just over a month ago.

" I just, you wouldn't understand, please just go," she pleads and I shake my head standing firm, my feet planted as I watch her.

" I'm not going anywhere Brooke," I say, " So stop trying to push me away. What do I have to do to prove to you that I want to be your friend, I want to help you."

" You cant help me Michael okay, nobody can," she murmurs squeezing her eyes shut tight.

" That's bull Brooke, I can help you, but your being so stubborn about it," I say walking forward putting my hand on her arm. She jumps violently stepping away from me a look of shear fear on her face.

" Please don't do this Michael," she murmurs, and I ball my hands into tight fists.

" Why Brooke? Why cant you just take the help, why cant you just let me be your friend?" I ask, my voice raising involuntarily and I curse under my breath when the tears slide down Brooke's face.

" I don't know okay, I don't, so please just go," she begs opening the door. I debate with myself, as I walk out of the door, but before I can turn around to say anything she shuts the door the sound of the locks being turned firmly telling me that I just screwed everything up, in a big way.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

What do you do when you know that someone is only trying to help, but you cant accept that help? I don't want to be fixed. My problems are just that. Mine. I don't need Olivia or Michael trying to repair me. I think I have done pretty well for the last year and a half. The first six months were the hardest. The nightmares, the fighting, the being told constantly that I need to just get over it. I drop my head to my knees, shaking with my tears.

" Brooke," Michael's voice fills my room and I look up at him confused. I locked the door, how did he get in? He holds up a small silver key his face riddled with anguish.

" Olivia gave it to me, at the airport. Told me I should keep it, just in case," he says, placing it back in his pocket, " Brooke, I'm sorry, I never meant to make you cry. I just, its so hard to know that your hurting and you need help. Its even worse because I don't know the full story, so I'm constantly afraid, afraid I'm going to say something, or do something that's going to have you melting down all over again." I stare at him, his words coursing through me as Olivia's words race through my clouded head.

_'Don't shut him out.'_ I watch as he turns towards the door, and I instinctively get up from my bed, pulling open my closet.

" Your right. So is Olivia, and I think that's what pisses me off so much. If you want to know everything just look at this," I say, handing him a thick scrapbook, his eyes looking at me curiously, " Anything and everything you need to know, I'll tell you." I sit down on my bed waiting for him to sit across from me. I watch as he lowers himself to the bed opening the cover of the black book.


	12. Chapter 12: Defining Moments

**Author's Note: Hey everyone. Okay so this chapter is kind of, well really a mature chapter. It deals with a sensitive subject. I truly hope that this does not offend anybody, but its something that has occured in my life, and in the lives of people close to me, and I have found that one of the best therapies out there in this world is taking the things that hurt you, and turning them into something good. Anyways, I hope that you all give this chapter a chance. **

**Chapter 12: Defining Moments**

_" We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone, but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."-Walter Anderson._

* * *

I watch Michael closely, his dark eyes taking in every detail of the first picture in the book.

" You had blonde hair?" Michael says, looking up at me a soft smile on his lips.

" Yeah, believe it or not. This was taken just after my sixteenth birthday, Olivia and I were the only sophomores on the varsity cheerleading squad, and it was the first year in almost twenty that our school made it into the finals," I murmur, recalling the feeling of adrenaline that coursed through me that night. I turn the next page for him, a small and somewhat blurry shot of Olivia and I clad in hoodies and jeans sitting in my car. " This was taken right before we went to the party. It was a huge party. Just about every one from the school showed up, people visiting home from college were there too. Olivia and I had never seen anything like it, I mean we went to our fair share of beach parties but not to one of this magnitude. It was a normal night, and I was the _'designated driver,' _which was always the inside joke between Olivia and me, because I didn't drink, ever. Anyways, it was a few hours into the party when another friend of mine pointed out that this one guy kept staring at me. I saw him of course, watching me from across the fire, but I didn't think anything of it. I smiled at him, and gave a small wave, and before I knew it he walked over to me and we started talking. I thought he was amazing. Smart, funny, mature. Everything a sixteen year old could wish for when she is surrounded my immature high school boys who find humor in fart jokes. We started dancing and I remember, we danced for a long time before I told him I was thirsty. He offered to get me something so I let him, because it would give the chance to find Olivia and gush over him. Well I found Olivia all right, making out with his best friend. Then she said she was going to be leaving for a while, and asked if I would be okay. I just waved her off, told her to go."

'_Are you sure? I can stay,' Olivia's voice echoes in my head as the memory of her face glowing by the bonfire flashes before my eyes.'_

" I watched her leave and I smiled when he came back with my drink, then he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk, get away from the crowd and the noise, and of course I went. We walked for a while, talking, laughing, when I started to feel weird. Fuzzy. Dizzy. I remember feeling like someone was sitting on my chest because I could barely breathe, and I told him I needed to sit down."

'_I don't feel good, I think I need to sit down,' my slurred voice rings in my head as I shudder from the memory.'_

" I remember only bits and pieces after that. Long periods of time completely blocked out. At first, when I was found I thought and everyone else thought that it was my minds way of protecting itself. From the memories."

" What do you mean when you were found?" Michael asks, his voice rough with emotion. I flip the page for him, a smiling picture of me with the words _' Have You Seen Me' _scrawled across the top.

" He kept me for two days," I murmur, getting up to pace the room unable to remain sitting, " He kept me for two days, and most of the time he kept me drugged. GHB, his drug of choice. I remember coming to with him on top of me, and I started struggling, or trying too, but he just laughed, a low, disgusting laugh. Telling me to relax, I would like it. I could barely move, I couldn't even speak. But I was screaming in my head, begging him to stop. I went under again, running from what was happening." I turn around my arms wrapped around myself as Michael flips the next page, newspaper articles cut out of the local paper, my parents, friends, begging for help in finding me.

" In the two days that I was in that hell, the last three and half hours are the most vivid," I say, my stomach curling as I start feeling the familiar onset of anxiety.

" Brooke you don't have to," Michael says but I just shake my head at him.

" No I do," I say, taking a deep and shaky breath, " The last three hours he kept me sober. He told me he wanted to hear me scream, to beg, and if I did a good enough job, he would let me go. So that's what I did, I screamed, I begged, I pleaded. I swore I wouldn't tell anyone what he looked like, or what happened. When he finished, he took out a knife and _'branded' _me," I say, pulling my shirt down slightly showing the scar that lays against my skin, "I didn't even scream when he stabbed me, I was just so numb. I thought for sure he was just going to finish me off, you know? Decide it was too big of a risk and kill me. I remember he put a bag over my head, and shoved me in the back of a car, made me lay down. I thought he was going to drive me out of state and drop me on the side of a road. I remember praying, praying so hard to God that if I was going to die, that I would never be found, because I didn't, I didn't want my parents to ever have to see me in that state. It felt like it was forever that I laid in the back of that car sure that I was about to die when we stopped moving and he pulled me out, ripped the bag from my face, and drove away. Just like that he was gone. He left me right where he got me. I remember collapsing to the sand, thanking God that he let me live. I was so overwhelmed by everything that I couldn't even see straight. So I started walking, having to stop every few minutes to vomit, and I stumbled into the middle of the road, and almost got hit by a car. For a minute I thought it was him, coming back, but it wasn't. It was a search party that just called it a night heading back into town who found me. I remember them wrapping me in a blanket and there was a woman, she smelled like lilac, and she just held me. Stroking my hair, murmuring to me that everything would be okay now, I was safe. But nothing was ever okay after that. There were the doctors, and the examinations, the pictures, the stories, the psychologists." I wipe my face realizing that at some point in my story I had started crying, watching as Michael flips the page cringing when he see's the photos that follow. The bruises that covered my body jumping off the page.

" What happened to him?" he asks, and I shake my head sadly.

" Nothing, he was never found. He told me his name was Jacob, but he never gave me his last name. They talked to the guy who Olivia was with, his _"best friend." _Come to find out the guy didn't know him, he, Jacob, just struck up conversation with him, to make people think that he knew somebody who was there," I say, and Michael snaps his head up, his eyes burning into mine, " Things changed after that. I didn't leave my room for a month, my house for three. I refused to speak to anyone. My parents tried so hard to get me to let them in, but I just disconnected. I barely ate, barely moved. There were times where I wished that he would have just killed me, because at least then I wouldn't be haunted by the memories of what happened. I couldn't even bare to look at myself anymore. My parents kind of lost it. They didn't know what to do for me anymore. They tried therapy, waiting it out, yelling at me. Nothing worked, I just sat there. Finally one night, I actually came down for dinner, and I sat at the table pushing the food around on my plate, when my Dad just snapped. Shoving away from the table so hard he knocked over the pitcher of sweet tea, and he just started yelling. Telling me that I needed to get over it, stop walking around like a zombie, grow up. My mother started screaming at him. I don't even remember how it happened but I picked up my plate and threw it against the wall, the sound of it shattering distracting both of them as they stared at me in shock. I didn't look at my father again after that day. I went back to school, graduated early, and left. I never looked back after that. Olivia, she was the only one I relied on. She was the only one who didn't whisper about what happened, she stood by me, stood strong no matter how hard I tried pushing her away. Other than my parents, the police, Olivia, and now you, nobody knows the true story."

" That's what the bracelet is for?" he murmurs, his eyes on my the black leather that wraps around my wrist. I finger it lightly nodding my head.

" There was one particular bad night, the night that I dyed my hair," I say, tugging lightly at the dark locks that fall past my shoulder, " Olivia came into my room and she just stared at me, in shock, apparently she didn't think brown was my color. She asked me why I did it, and I just started crying. I told her that whenever I looked in the mirror all I saw was this empty hollow shell, all of my beauty was gone. Both the beauty I had physically and the beauty on the inside. It was like a huge hole just swallowed me up and spit out this hideous imposter of who I used to be. She took me by the shoulders and just stared at me and she told me, _' Brooke, you will be beautiful again.'_ So right before we moved to L.A she bought me the bracelet and told me that as long as I wore it I would never forget that one day I will be beautiful again, and whole, and that what happened to me wont always define me as a person."

" She's right Brooke, what happened to you, is, unimaginable, but it doesn't define you. Its just something that happened, and its terrible and it makes no sense, but you are beautiful Brooke. Your smart, and funny, and amazing. I just wish you saw that," he says, sliding the book shut silently.

" So do I," I murmur, taking the book from him putting it back into my closet, " It would make things a lot easier." I lower myself to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest.

" Why did you tell me?" he asks suddenly and I look up to him shrugging my shoulders.

" Because if I'm going to move in with you, you need to understand that I come with a lot of emotional baggage," I say, staring at him gauging his reaction, " I need you to know that I have issues, and you have to be prepared for it." Wordlessly he slides from my bed sinking to the floor to sit next to me, wrapping his arms around me pulling me close, and for the first time since I was sixteen I feel like I can trust someone other than Olivia with everything that hurts me. And in the silence, my heart starts opening, the sound of Michael's heartbeat telling me, its going to be all right.

* * *

Saturday morning dawns bright and sunny as I shove the last of my boxes into the back of the SUV I borrowed from Michael. I jingle my apartment keys in my hand as I walk to the manager office dropping them slowly into the drop box listening as the hit bottom. It was insane, how quickly things went after telling Michael I would move in with him. I smile when I remember the excited squeal Olivia gave me when she found out, and it warms my heart to remember her telling me how proud she was that I told him everything. I climb into the car, clicking my seat belt on as I pull my sunglasses onto my face as I run through the checklist in my head. Perishables and food had been the first thing to go to Neverland, followed by the contents of my bedroom, except for the furniture. Olivia's and mine were packed and sitting safely and snuggly in storage. The last few things that I'm taking are the rest of my clothes, my DVD and c.d collection. My phone rings and I answer it before I can manage to pull from the parking garage.

" Hello," I say, smiling slightly when Michael's voice rings through the phone.

" Hey, have you left yet?" Michael asks, and I grin rolling my eyes.

" Just about to when you called, geeze Michael, I'll see you when I get there," I say, rifling through my c.d's trying to decide what I am in the mood to listen too.

" Well don't go just yet, I was in town and decided I would just ride back with you," he says, and I sigh heavily.

" Come on Michael, I have made this trip enough times on my own, I'm sure I can do it again," I say, jumping slightly when the passenger door opens.

" I know, but the last time you drove this car you almost backed into one of my tree's," he says chuckling when I lower my phone.

" Oh please I was a good two inches away from it. Geeze, almost take out one small tree and I cant be trusted to drive on my own," I grumble playfully as I pull into traffic.

" That's right," he says, and I slap his arm playfully.

" Fine if you insist on coming along then your in charge of music and snacks," I say, unable to contain my laughter when he throws a gummy bear at me. Soon the laughter fades and the music plays softly in the car, leaving me to my own thoughts, and Michael to his.


	13. Chapter 13: Welcome To Neverland

**Author's Note: Hey Everyone. I'm back from Vacation and so here is some more chapters of TIBTO for all of you to enjoy. I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewd. Seriously, you have all made me so happy :) Onto Chapter 13. Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**C****hapter 13: Welcome To Neverland**

" **Home Is Where The Heart Is…Right?"**

* * *

An hour and a half. That's how long it should have taken for me and Michael to get from my old apartment to Neverland, but no. No see Michael insisted on stopping to eat, and in doing so not only did he cause pandemonium by his mere presence but he got us stuck in rush hour traffic on the 101.

" I said I was sorry," Michael grumbles and I roll my eyes behind my dark sunglasses.

" Yeah, well, sorry doesn't get us through this traffic any faster does it Michael?" I ask, tightening my hands on the wheel. Living in Los Angeles for two years has taught me one thing; driving in Los Angeles blows.

" Geeze, no need to be such a butt about it," he murmurs and I scoff at his refusal to use the other, more effective four letter word.

" Oh so now I'm a butt, it was you who got us stuck in this mess," I growl laying on the horn when someone carelessly cuts me off.

" Yes, you are a butt, and you want to know why Brooke?" he asks, turning in his seat to look at me.

" Oh please do enlighten me," I reply my voice dripping with sarcasm.

" Because instead of looking at this as an opportunity to enjoy the ride, the scenery, and the amazing company, you choose to moan and groan about how horrible the traffic is, therefore my friend, that makes you, a butt," he says sounding rather pleased with himself and his "highly intelligent" argument.

" Yeah well, I'd rather be a butt than an apple head," I murmur, and I cant help but grin when his head snaps up at the comment, his long fingers pulling his sunglasses down so that he can stare at me over the top of the metal frame.

" What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?" he asks, his voice punctuating each word.

" You heard me, Applehead," I say, my teeth clenched with annoyance over this menial and seemingly childish argument.

" Why pray tell, would you call me an apple head?" he asks, turning his head to me and I smile slowly. One thing I have learned about Michael, he is deceivingly vain. Sure he has this careless gorgeousness to him, but underneath it all he is constantly wondering if he looks _'good,' _though _'good' _isn't exactly the word that I would use for him. Beautiful seems more fitting.

" I hate to tell you this Mike, but your head is the shape of an apple," I say, and I watch, highly amused when he flips open the visor looking into the mirror, turning his head from side to side. I bite the inside of my mouth trying hard to keep from laughing and ruining the moment.

" It is not," he says, shutting the visor with a quick snap of his wrist and I grin as the traffic around us finally clears up and we start moving faster as I switch lanes, setting the cruise control to a nice and easy seventy-five.

" Whatever you say," I murmur smiling as I settle back into my seat grinning, " Applehead." I laugh loudly when Michael groans sinking deeper into his seat grumbling about how utterly despicable it is that his head should be compared to an apple.

* * *

I drop my final box onto the floor sighing heavily, moving shouldn't be this much of a hassle. I look around smiling at the upstairs room that Michael has offered me. The only thing that bothers me is it seems, a little plain. Don't get me wrong the room is beautiful, and spacious, but it just doesn't feel like home. I shrug out of my sweater tossing it onto the bed, turning when a soft knock echoes through my room.

" Hey Max," I say, smiling at him when I notice that he's holding my stereo.

" I believe this belongs to you," Max says, smiling easily when I nod my head. I watch as he carefully maneuvers through my room, side-stepping and stepping over boxes, setting my stereo onto a small table.

" Thanks," I murmur, running my hands over my hair.

" No problem. The next time though you might not get so lucky, seems someone forgot that it was sitting on top of the car, I almost drove away with it, I doubt it would have survived the trip," he says, and I smile though I cringe on the inside. I would have been so upset if something happened to Dolly. Yes, I named my stereo, aside from my cell phone and I-pod, my stereo is the most important piece of technology to me.

" Yeah, that would have been bad," I say, lifting a box of clothes placing it onto my bed.

" Well, I'm going to get out of your way," he says, and I smile, looking up when he stops at the door, " Oh I forgot. I'm running to the store and wanted to know if you needed anything."

" Uhm, no I think I'm okay," I say, and I smile when Max simply nods his head closing the door slightly behind him. I rifle through my purse pulling out my I-pod turning it on as I turn back to the task at hand with a groan. This is going to take a while.

* * *

I trudge down the stairs in search of Michael, or Max.

" Hello," I call out as I walk the silent halls. The house is strangely quiet, nobody around to be found, " Michael, Max." No answer. I walk through the living room, finding the TV on but no one watching it. I find the car keys sitting on the end table and snatch them up, walking outside, the heat washing over me. I walk quickly to the car pulling open the trunk. I sigh when the box that was strangely missing sits in front of me.

" There you are," I murmur, grabbing the box. I walk towards the house when approaching footsteps catch me off guard. I turn to see who it is when I'm suddenly hit by a water balloon. I sputter losing grip on the box I'm carrying watching in horror as it hit's the ground, the contents of the box spilling in front of a pair of black shoes. Before I can kneel down to pick up my things I am fired upon, unable to defend myself from the water balloons and super soakers.

" Oops," Michael says, and I kneel down, dripping wet, snatching up my scattered panties and bras, " Brooke, I'm sorry." I roll my eyes, cursing the fact that my face is burning bright, painted with hot blush. I slap Michael's hands away when he kneels down to help me.

" Don't," I snap, snatching a black lace thong from his hands shoving it in the box, " What was that all about anyways?" The echoing laughter of Max and Michael's brothers surrounding us.

" Uhm, well its something that everyone goes through when they come to Neverland," Michael says, as I get to my feet hitching the box on my hip.

" But I've been here before Michael, this wasn't my first time," I grumble, walking towards the door.

" Yeah but that was for work, now that your living here you had to go through the rite of passage," he says opening the door for me. I roll my eyes. I will never understand men.

" Whatever you say Michae if you'll excuse me, not only do I have to finish unpacking but now I have to change into dry clothes," I say heading towards the stairs. I walk halfway up when I hear Michael's brothers talking loudly in the living room.

" Nice Mike, just cant help but get the ladies wet can you?" one of them say, and I scoff. Men.

* * *

" Hello," I murmur into my phone, rolling over to look at the clock. How is it that people have the worst timing in the world when calling? It took me laying in bed for almost three hours to finally drift off to sleep, and just when I'm almost completely under my phone rings? Is there no justice in this world?

" Brooke Elisabeth you were supposed to call me and tell me how the move went, and you never did," Olivia says, and I try to smile but it doesn't quiet reach my lips when I realize that it's two in the morning.

" Olivia, I love you, but its two in the morning, I was just falling asleep, without the help of one of my pills and you ruined it, now I'm going to try to go back to sleep," I say, pulling my comforter over my head.

" Just tell me how it went," she whines and I roll my eyes, sitting up slowly.

" Fine. Our furniture is in storage, Michael ended up riding with me on the way home, we ended up in traffic, had a mini argument that ended in name calling, I unpacked, got blasted with water balloons and super soakers, right before dropping a box full of my panties in front of Michael," I say my words rushing out as I try to get off the phone as quick as possible, " Now I will call you in the morning, good night Liv." I hang up my phone, turning it off so that if she calls back, which she will incessantly, I wont hear it and I can go back to sleep. I flop back on my pillows pulling my comforter up closing my eyes. Two seconds later I throw my covers off with a groan.

" Stupid Olivia, calling and waking me up," I grumble, as I walk through my dark room. I walk down the stairs carefully and quietly praying I don't fall down the stairs. That would just be the perfect ending of such a wonderful day. I turn the corner heading into the kitchen. I flip on the light, blinking my eyes quickly as I try and adjust to the brightness. I grab a bottle of water and an apple hopping up onto the counter. I cross my legs, looking around the spacious kitchen sighing. My fingers itching to cook. I bite into the apple, crossing my legs humming as I eat.

" What are you doing awake?" someone asks and I jump my apple falling to the counter with a thud as I begin coughing the bite of apple that I took lodging into my throat. I clear my throat as I turn my head my eyes streaming.

" Olivia woke me up," I croak out and I try not to take it personally when Michael begins laughing at me, " What's so funny?"

" Nothing, its just, karma. You call me an Applehead, you choke on an apple, coincidence or divine intervention?" he asks, and I stare at him shaking my head.

" Whatever you say Michael," I murmur, picking my apple back up taking another big bite, " Hope this wasn't one of your relatives." My sarcastic remark has Michael turning his head, his eyes narrowing.

" I do not have an apple head," he argues and I giggle as I watch him self-consciously lift his hand to his head.

" Mhm. So, what are you doing awake?" I ask, swinging my feet back and forth lightly hitting the wood with a soft thud.

" Couldn't sleep," he says, and I nod my head. Ahh, a fellow insomniac, at least now I know I'm not the only one, " I was in the studio, fine tuning the song we've been working on, but I just wasn't feeling it, something seems off."

" Maybe you just need to step away for a minute you know? Give yourself time to look at it from a different angle," I say, sliding off the counter walking towards the trash can.

" Yeah maybe," he murmurs back a far off look in his eyes. " Well, I think I'm just going to go back to my room, try and get some sleep," I say, knowing that the possibility of doing just that is next to impossible.

" You don't sound too enthused about that Brooke," he says and I smile at him shrugging my shoulders.

" Yeah well, chronic insomnia will do that to you," I say, shaking my hair from my shoulders.

" You know, when I cant sleep, which is just about every night I usually end up just staying up watching movies, you can always join me. It'll be nice to have someone to join in on the festivities," he says and I bite my lip. Looks like I have a decision to make, go back to my room and toss and turn for hours trying to find sleep that will never come, or, stay with Michael and watch movies. What is a girl to do?

" I guess watching movies with you isn't the worst thing I can do with my time," I say, shrugging my shoulders as I walk towards the living room, Michael's laughter resounding behind me.


	14. Chapter 14: Something So Simple

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 14: Something So Simple**

_"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."-Robert Frost_

* * *

I wake slowly, feeling somewhat groggy. It's been two months since I moved to Neverland. In those two months I have only needed the help of my sleeping pills a few times, everytime Michael is away over night. Like last night. I sigh shaking my head. This is going to be a problem. It seems I have just swapped Olivia's support for Michael's, only its totally different with Michael. When he isn't here it's almost like I can't breathe. Which is ridiculous. In my short time of being here, submerged in Michael, I have picked up on the little things. Like how much Michael likes to read, which totally caught me off guard, though I must say his collection of books is beyond impressive. His eyes always light up when he watches Disney movies, which was another shocker, and here I thought I was the only closet Disney fanatic. Then there is the compassionate side of Michael. The most touching side of him. The amount of times that I have gone with him when he visits hospitals is beyond my mathematical capabilities, but it isn't the amount of times he goes, it's the effect he has on the sick children he see's that stirs my soul. He talks and holds each one, treating them each as if they are his own. His gentle spirit never ceases to amaze me.

I walk downstairs slowly, the sound of muffled yet undeniably angry voices catching me completely off guard. I freeze mid-step, debating with myself. Just as I'm about to turn and go back to my room, I hear my name. I trudge down the rest of the stairs, and head towards the kitchen and the raised voices. I stop in the door way when I see that it's Michael and Joseph who are arguing at barely six in the morning. Immediately the weight on my chest lifts and at once I can breathe freely and deeply, but the feeling of happiness at seeing Michael home is replaced by worry at the look of anger and exhaustion on his face. The shadows under his usually big, birght eyes breaking my heart. The tension is palpable when I step into the kitchen quietly, standing in a corner, Michael looking past Joseph's shoulder landing on me, pleading to get him out of here. I clear my throat slightly, Joseph whirling around to look at me, his angry eyes appraising me. Okay, so I may not look like I just stepped off the cover of fashion magazine, but give a girl a break, I just woke up. I shuffle my feet, trying not to meet Joseph's angry glare. Who knows what would happen if I did, for all I know I might turn into a statue or something.

" What's she doing here?" Joseph asks, his deep voice gruff, evidence of his anger.

" She lives here Joseph," Michael says throwing his hands up in aggravation, " I just told you that."

" I thought you were kidding boy. What are you thinking, having some, some girl live with you," Joseph says, and I roll my eyes brushing past him to get water from the fridge, " Some stranger."

" Not that its any of your business, but she's helping on the album, so it only made sense that she should move in," Michael says, and I jump when Joseph knocks over a chair, " And she isn't a stranger. She's my best friend Joseph."

" You doin' her boy?" Joseph asks and I cringe turning slowly.

" You are so far out of line Joseph. One, your sons sex life isn't any of your business, and mine certainly isn't any of your concern. Two, your disrespect for people was made perfectly clear when you threw a drink in my face a few months ago, but your disrespect for your own child is deplorable. Lastly, I'm not going anywhere Joseph. I signed on for this job and I intend fully to see it through, and if you have a problem with that maybe you just shouldn't come around," I say, sailing past him until he grabs me by the arm. My heart slams into my throat and immediately my body bucks with fear as I try desperately to pull out of his tight grasp.

" What are you thinking Michael, having her live with you. She cant be trusted. She is going to use you and then toss you away, mark my words boy, she aint no good, she's just a slut," Joseph says, his words slapping at me angrily as I cant help but struggle, fear humming and clawing in my throat.

" Let her go Joseph," Michael says, his voice dangerously low, " Now!" on the last command Joseph's fingers loosen on my arm and I run blindly from the kitchen escaping to my room. I shut the door loudly behind me trying to keep myself as calm as I can. I pace the room, my arms wrapped tightly around myself. I should have stayed out of it, why didn't I just keep my big mouth shut? What if Michael believes his father. What if he believes that I'm just here to use him up and then leave? I know the absurdity of such an accusation, but what if Michael doesn't? I jump when my bedroom door opens, whirling around to see Michael, standing with his hands shoved deeply in his pockets, a look of misery on his face.

" Brooke, I'm so sorry," Michael says, and I shake my head furiously.

" No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have butt in that way, I just cant stand the way he treats people, especially you," I say, my rapid heart beat immediately coming down when Michael steps into the room.

" True, but I did enjoy seeing you put Joseph in his place for the second time," he says, opening his arms, " Come here." I walk to him slowly letting him wrap me in a familiar and comforting hug. I hug him tightly, letting out a deep breath.

" You okay?" he asks, pulling away to look down at me. I smile lightly nodding my head.

" Yeah, I just missed you," I murmur, smiling into his chest when he chuckles.

" I missed you too Brooke," he says, and I close my eyes. I know that I'm in trouble, my dependency on Michael is going to be hell to break loose from, but for now, it isn't hurting anything, right?

* * *

" What were you and Joseph fighting about anyways?" I ask, jogging next to Michael, our footsteps pounding on the cement in rhythm.

" He wants me to perform with my brothers at a show that Motown is putting on, but I don't want too. I broke away from the group for a reason," Michael says, and I cast a look at him from the corner of my eye. Sweat trickles down his neck and his face is screwed up with discontent.

" True, but honestly what harm could it do?" I ask, stopping to catch my breath, Michael stopping just ahead of me his wide hands resting on his head as he tries to catch his breath.

" A lot of harm. I broke away from my brothers so people could hear me Brooke, there are a lot of things that I have to say, and I wont be heard if I'm part of that group," he says, kicking a rock sending it skipping across the road.

" Right, but what if you could work something out. Like a few songs with your brothers, on the understanding that you would get to introduce one of your songs you know? That way you get a feel for what people will think of you as Michael Jackson, not MJ," I say, dropping to the cement, leaning back on my hands and I smile when Michael flops down next to me.

" I didn't even think about that," Michael says, and I shrug my shoulders, " Have I told you lately Brooke, that you're a genius?" I laugh rolling my eyes at him.

" I don't know about being a genius, but if you insist on calling me one, I cant complain," I say, grinning over at him. We sit for a few minutes content with the silence that consumes us.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

It was all ready shaping up to being one of those days. You know the days where you want to be anywhere but where you are. I knew it was going to start off on a bad foot when I arrived home to find Joseph waiting outside of the gates to my home, a look of darkness on his face. Which really isn't all that surprising. He always looks angry. It only got worse. Instead of being able to check on Brooke, grab a shower, and head into the studio, I was forced into an argument with Joseph about not wanting to perform with my brothers at the big Motown show. Which inevitably led to him telling me that I owe it to him. Why? Why do I owe anything to him? He ran my life up until six months ago. Everything I did, didn't do, say or didn't say was determined by him, so what exactly did I owe him? I probably would have dealt with his words of anger, let him say what he had to say and be done with it, but then Brooke walked in, and the things that Joseph said were so rude and mean I couldn't believe they we're actually coming out of his mouth, then again this is Joseph Jackson we're talking about. I still don't understand what made me so angry. If it was the fact that he insinuated that something of a romantic nature was going on between Brooke and me, or the fact that nothing of the sort was going on at all. How many subtle hints does a guy have to drop? I cant be angry at Brooke though, I understand her inability to pick up on such things. Well not so much her inability, but her refusal to pick up on them. I groan whirling away from my window. Right about now I should be in the studio fine tuning the last song I recorded instead, I am pacing my office wondering what it is that I am going to do about Joseph, and Brooke. If I could I would tell Joseph never to come back, but he's my father. So I'll do what I have done my entire life, stay as far away from him as possible. Remain courteous and respectable when he's around for the sake of Mother and Janet, but aside from that if I don't see that man again I cant say I would be too terribly upset. As for Brooke. I run a hand over my hair at the thought of my beautiful roommate. I am completely lost. Brooke has to be handled carefully, but there is only so much more I can take. I whirl when a knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts of Brooke, smiling when my long time friend and mentor Berry stands in the door way of my office.

" Berry," I say, taking him into a tight hug.

" Michael," he says, and I pull away motioning for him to take a seat, " I hear that you turned down performing with your brothers at the Motown show." I smile sheepishly trying to think of what to say.

" That's actually why I called you Berry," I say, launching into my idea. If this works I will have to do something extravagant for Brooke, if not, I'll throttle her.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I sit in Michael's library darkness all ready falling quickly outside of the large window I sit in front of, reading a weathered copy of The Wizard Of Oz when Michael yelling my name pulls me from Dorothy and her dog Toto's tale. I blink my eyes slowly setting the book aside to look up into the guarded and almost mischievous eyes of Michael.

" What?" I ask, getting up to stretch.

" I just had a long discussion with Berry Gordy," Michael says slowly, and the tone of his voice tells me that it didn't go so well. I swallow deeply my heart sinking into my stomach.

" Erm, I'm guessing it didn't go well," I say, fiddling with my hands nervously behind my back.

" Your right it didn't go well," he says, and I close my eyes. Crap. Yet again me and my big mouth ruined something. In the middle of mentally kicking myself I am caught off guard when Michael picks me up, spinning me around in a tight hug, " It went brilliantly. Berry loved the idea of me doing a solo piece. You are a genius Brooke, truly. How can I thank you?"

" By putting me down, I cant breathe," I choke out, smiling when Michael sets me down the grin on his face contagious.

" Sorry. I'm serious Brooke, anything you want to do, on me," he says, and I blush deeply.

" Michael you don't have to," I say, but I stop mid-sentence when Michael shakes his head quickly.

" I insist," he says and I cant deny the excitement in his eyes.

" Anything?" I ask, smiling slowly eventually laughing when he nods his head excitedly.

" Okay," I say, linking arms with Michael.

* * *

" Denny's?" Michael asks, looking through the windshield staring up at the neon sign of my favorite restaurant. I grin happily looking over at Michael.

" Yes, you said anything, and I want to eat at Denny's," I say, pushing out of Michael's car shutting the door behind me. Michael chuckles lightly and I look over at him, " What?"

" Nothing, its just when I said anything, I guess I was expecting something more, extravagant. A five star restaurant, maybe a trip somewhere," Michael says, pulling open the door so that I can walk in. I roll my eyes before turning to look at the hostess.

" Hey Brooke, haven't seen you around here lately, where's Olivia?" Josie, the hostess/waitress who Olivia and I have gotten to know pretty well over the last couple of years smiles at me.

" Hey Josie," I say, hugging her quickly, " Liv's in Paris."

" No kiddin'. So she got in then, that's excellent. Who's your friend?" Josie asks motioning with her head to Michael who stands behind me his hat pulled low over my face.

" Sorry, this is Michael, Michael this is Josie, the best damn waitress in the world," I say, following Josie to a familiar secluded booth that Olivia and I had claimed as our own.

" Nice to meet ya, hun," Josie says, and Michael smiles slowly taking his hat off as he slides into the booth, " Well I'll be, Brooke that's…" I just nod my head handing Michael a menu.

" Yes, I know who it is Josie. I'll have a diet coke.." I start saying but Josie interrupts me.

" I know, a Diet Coke with lemon, lots of ice, what about you sugar?" Josie asks turning to Michael her eyes dancing under the lights.

" Uhm iced tea please," Michael says, and I giggle when Josie winks at him before turning to go to the kitchen.

" Michael, you can relax, not too many people come in here. Mostly just students and study groups," I murmur, pulling my legs up so that I'm sitting cross legged in the booth. Michael looks around noting that only a few other people inhabit the restaurant, and slowly he relaxes.

" Sorry," he mumbles and I shake my head, " Can I ask you a question?"

" I suppose," I say, smiling up at Josie when she sets my drink in front of me.

" You guys ready to order?" Josie asks and I look at Michael.

" Just bring us the usual Josie," I say and Josie grabs the menu's from us sailing away.

" The usual?" Michael asks, and I smile nodding my head.

" Don't worry, you'll like it," I say, " You were going to ask me a question."

" Oh yeah, why Denny's?" he asks, and I look at him shrugging my shoulders lazily.

" Why not Denny's?" I ask, balling the straw wrapper between my fingers.

" I don't know, I just, I thought you would have picked something different," he says, and I roll my eyes dramatically.

" That's what happens when you think Michael. Truthfully, Olivia and I used to come here all the time when we needed to study but didn't want to do it home," I say, memories of the many nights that Olivia and I would stay in this booth up to our eyes in books and school work.

" Your lucky you know that?" he says suddenly interrupting my walk down memory lane.

" Lucky?" I ask, staring at him trying to read his eyes and expression.

" I would love to go to college, to have assignments and papers, to learn," he says, his voice wistful.

" Oh yeah, so much fun in papers and assignments," I say, joking but I drop the humor when I see the seriousness on Michael's face, " Your serious aren't you?" He nods slowly and before I can say anything Josie shows up with our food. I smile with thanks, suddenly losing my appetite. How sad is it, that Michael has this absolutely stunning talent, and all he wishes for is something as simple as to go to school?


	15. Chapter 15: Pleasantly Surprised

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 15: Pleasantly Surprised**

" **Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."-Edna St. Vincent Millay **

* * *

I stare out of my window watching as the sun rises in the distance, turning the sky a million different shades of pink and orange. Last night was a sleepless night, though it didn't help that Michael and I didn't leave the studio until two. I was surprised that we were even able to any amount of time in the studio and even more surprised that we got anything done, what with Michael laughing at me every two seconds. I run my hands over my pinned hair, and laugh myself. I guess I couldn't blame him, it isn't every day I walk around with enough metal on my head to make a small car. I look over when there is a soft knock on my door.

" I thought I'd find you awake," Michael says, smiling as he leans against the door way. I smile slightly and shyly, have I mentioned that Michael knows me all too well? Well he does. He knows me better than I do sometimes. Which is kind of scary, and rather embarassing.

" Yeah I couldn't sleep," I say, sitting on my bed, crossing my legs as he walks into the room to join me.

" Nervous?" he asks, and I nod my head. No sense in lying about, Michael would know the truth anyways.

" It isn't everyday I'm invited to a Hollywood party Michael," I say, pulling my knee's to my chest.

" I suppose it isn't. I could say that its no big deal, but I have to remember that I have been doing this sort of thing for years, so I will just say, stick with me and you'll be fine," he says, and I smile nodding my head slowly.

" I know, I just," I say, my words trailing off as I shake my head.

" You just what?" he asks staring at me closely.

" I wish Olivia was here," I murmur, closing my eyes. Listen to me. I'm living my dream. I'm going to be on Michael Jackson's album, I live in an expensive house, and I have met some of the most famous recording artists there are, and yet I'm complaining because my best friend isn't around. " I know its selfish, she's living her dream, and I'm living mine. But she's the closest thing to family that I have and I just wish she could share this with me."

" It isn't selfish Brooke," he says and I shrug my shoulders, " I'm serious. She's your best friend, your sister, its perfectly normal for you to miss her."

" If you say so," I say, turning my head to look out of the window.

" Well, Mother, Rebbie and Janet will be here in a little while, you know to get ready. I will never understand why it takes women so long to get ready," he says, changing the subject easily, making me laugh.

" This coming from the man who takes an hour to get ready to go to the studio," I say, chucking a pillow at him as he dances out of the door. I smile flopping back onto my bed, feeling a bit better. Doesn't change the fact that I want my best friend here.

* * *

I walk downstairs slipping into the kitchen to get a bottle of water when I hear the voices. I know, sounds like I'm crazy, but no not voices in my head, hushed voices coming from Michael's office. I walk towards the door when I hear Joseph's rumbling voice and everything inside of me freezes up. I have steered clear from Joseph since the early morning run in I had with him. I brush my fingers over my upper arm where the bruises have just faded from my skin.

" No Joseph," Michael says, his voice amused and annoyed.

" Well why not, she's a perfectly respectable young woman," Joseph says, his voice heating up with anger.

" I'm sure that she is, but I'm not interested," Michael says back and I cant help but push the door open. Katherine sits with Janet and Rebbie, humor lit on their faces as all three of them sit biting their lips trying not to laugh. I look towards Michael, who stands braced against his desk, a smile on his face.

" Your being unreasonable Michael. Imagine the buzz you would get if you were to show up at Gordy's charity ball with Britney Spears on your arm," Joseph says, and I choke, sputtering on the water that I was drinking, everyone's eyes falling on me. Not that I have anything against Britney Spears, I'm sure that she is a delightful woman, but her music and me have never agreed with each other, and not only that but I would never be able to picture Michael with her. Ever. She is just not his type. I step into the room, sliding onto the couch next to Janet to watch the argument unfold.

" I'm sorry Joseph, but to be completely honest, I all ready have a date," Michael says, and I can feel my eyes widen by his admission. He all ready had a date? How is it possible that I'm just hearing about Michael having a date to this party? We live in the same house for Pete's sake.

" What? Who?" Joseph demands, and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from demanding the same answer from Michael.

" Brooke," Michael says, looking over at me and I feel the blood rushing to my face.

" Excuse me, did I hear you right when you said your taking her, a _nobody_ to Berry Gordy's biggest party of the year," Joseph demands and I flinch when he refers to me so poorly.

" I am taking Brooke to the biggest party of the year, yes," Michael says, and I watch waiting for Joseph to explode and instead I'm surprised when Joseph simply shrugs his shoulders letting out a deep breath.

" Fine, but when she does something to embarrass you or this family, don't come crawling back to me to fix it boy," Joseph says, leaving us all to sit in stunned silence behind him.

* * *

Two hours later I sit in one of the finished guest rooms as Rebbie pulls the pins from my hair, her face concentrating hard on the task at hand.

" Rebbie, can I ask you a question?" I ask, shaking my head at the fact that I sound just like Michael with what I just said.

" Of course," Rebbie says, pulling another pin out dropping it onto the dresser top with a small _'clink.'_

" Do you think Michael thinks this is a date, date? Or is it just so that he doesn't have to go with Britney Spears?" I ask, feeling stupid for even wondering. Of course its just so that he could get out of having to escort Britney to this party. Why should it matter? I will be spending the night with some of the most famous people in the world, and yet I cant seem to shake the feeling that I am going as nothing but a filler, if you know what I mean.

" Hmm. I don't know. Why don't you ask Michael yourself," she asks, looking at me over my head as she starts making gentle waves in my hair.

" I don't know," I say, " Never mind, it doesn't really matter."

" Brooke, do you like my brother?" she asks, and I raise my eyes to her, shaking my head slowly.

" No," I answer, pretty confidant in my answer. I don't like Michael like that. At least I don't think that I do. I guess I just haven't let myself think about the possibility of having feelings for him. It could never happen, " I mean I like Michael. He's amazing, but not that way." I feel myself getting flustered, blood rushing into my face.

" You sure about that?" she asks, her eyes lighting up at the idea.

" Yes, I'm sure," I reply and she shakes her head.

" Well, if you don't like him, does it really matter why your going as his date?" she asks, and I shrug my shoulders lazily.

" I guess not," I murmur, letting the silence fall over us, letting myself think.

* * *

" Come on Brooke," Janet whines at the door, and I shake my head furiously.

" No, tell Michael I'm not going, I changed my mind," I say, staring at the locked door.

" Brooke, it cant be that bad," she says, and I roll my eyes opening the door. Her answering stare has me feeling self conscious as I pull at the dress.

" See, its horrible isn't it?" I say, pushing past her so that I can look in the long mirror.

" No, you look beautiful," she says, standing next to me in her black polka dotted dress, her hair done up in victory rolls.

" Really?" I ask, turning back to the mirror, Janet nodding her head as I stare at myself. The red taffeta dance dress fits snuggly over my chest and flows out, the pleated shoulder straps lay against my shoulders and I nervously pull at them. I wiggle my red polished toes in my four strap shoes before my eyes travel back to my face. My hair is wavy and perfect, proof of the hard work that Rebbie put in on my hair. Its parted on the left, a large burgundy silk rose clipped into my hair. And I smile. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

" Well, look at you. I'm gone for a few months and come back to find my best friend has turned into a Barbie doll," a familiar voice fills the room and I turn slowly my eyes widening at the sight of my Olivia.

" Liv!" I exclaim racing across the room throwing my arms around her.

" Aww Brookey-Bee, did you miss me?" Olivia asks, pulling away from me and its only this moment that I realize she is dressed in 40's fashion too.

" Of course I missed your crazy a..." I trail off remember that Janet is in the room, and she hates curse words, " Butt. Anyways, what are you doing here? How long are you staying? How in the world did you get here?"

" Slow down Brooke, breathe. Well you know, Michael called me a few days ago and was telling me about this swanky party y'all are going too, and I decided I didn't want to be left out of the festivities so I flew out here to crash the party," she says, doing a quick twirl in her dress, " Seriously though, Michael knew how much we missed each other so he called me and set up for me to fly home."

" Are you serious?" I ask, my heart beating sluggishly in my chest at the fact that Michael would do something like this for me.

" Yeah, isn't it great?" she asks, hugging me close again.

" It's awesome," I whisper, cursing the fact that I'm tearing up.

" Don't you start that Brookey, because then you'll get me started and I cant afford to ruin this fabulous make-up job," she says waving a hand at her eyes as I mimic the movement, " Anyways, what is this that I hear about you being Michael's date to this soiree." I groan, blushing deeply as I roll my eyes.

" Its not what you think. I'm saving him from having to go with Britney Spears," I say, smiling when Olivia laughs loudly.

" Are you serious?" she asks, taking my arm in hers, Janet linking hers through my other one.

" Dead serious," I say, snickering when she starts gagging.

" What would Michael do without you?" she asks, and I shake my head.

" Be with Britney," I say, laughing when both Janet and Olivia shudder at the thought. At least I'm not the only one.

* * *

We laugh, making our way down the stairs talking amongst ourselves and I look up ready to yell at Olivia when she pulls on my arm sharply.

" Liv, what the hell," I say, my words sliding back down my throat when I look in the direction that she's staring in, my mouth going dry. I clutch the banister of the stairs, taking in all of him. A white pinstriped suit tailored perfectly to fit his long body, an electric blue shirt standing out against his skin, a white fedora pressed over a low laying ponytail. Gorgeous.

" There they are," Michael's brother Marlon says, pointing towards where Liv, Janet, and I stand. Michael smiles slowly, and I walk towards him, hugging him close.

" Thank you," I whisper, smiling when he chuckles lightly his breath tickling my ear.

" Your welcome," Michael whispers back, and I pull away noticing the way he links his fingers through mine. I turn around when Olivia squeals, and I cant help but feel like everything is right in my world when she tries so hard to reign in her excitement over seeing Marlon. I tend to forget that in the short time that I was working with Michael before she left the other brothers weren't around.

" Its nice to finally meet you Olivia, looks like your stuck with me tonight," Marlon says, and I fight the urge to laugh hysterically when Olivia turns five shades of red.

" I say we better go before Olivia passes out in the middle of the entry way," I murmur laughing when my best friend glares at me over her shoulder.

Forty five minutes later I'm singing a different tune as our limo pulls out in front of Berry Gordy's house. I can hear the crowd and I press a hand against my stomach trying to still the butterflies fluttering angrily about.

" You okay?" Olivia asks, leaning into me so that our hushed conversation cant be heard.

" No, I'm scared as hell. Joseph called me a nobody Liv, and he's right, I am nobody. And what if I do something to embarrass Michael?" I murmur to her, rolling my eyes at the memory of Joseph's cold and calculating words.

" Brooke, I love you remember that, but you need to shut up. If Michael thought you were even the slightest bit embarrassing do you think he would be bringing you, as his date, to the biggest party of the year? And who cares what Joseph said? He's an ass," she says, taking my hand in hers squeezing tightly to reassure me. I smile at her, taking a deep breath as Michael steps out of the limo his hand held out to mine. I hesitate, nerves coursing through my body as his hand closes over mine. I slip out of the limo, blinking my eyes furiously against the flashing cameras. I fight the urge to clap my hands over my ears against the roar of the crowd, people screaming Michael's name, asking questions, photographers calling for him to turn and look in their direction for pictures. My body betrays me as I stand frozen in fear forcing Michael to release my hand, wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me close. Every fiber of my being screams for me to get back into the safety of the limo, the voice in my head telling me that everyone knows anything and everything there is to know about me. The good, and the bad.

" It's okay," Michael murmurs, " Your beautiful." I take a deep breath, focusing on Michael's voice. " You ready?" I look up at him, focusing on the reassuring light in his eyes. I let out the breath I was holding, and nod my head. Not that I have much of a choice now.


	16. Chapter 16: The Need To Escape

**Author's Note: I will post more chapters tomorrow. Hope Everyone enjoys. **

**Chapter 16: The Need To Escape **

" **Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust."-Anonymous.**

* * *

I stand pressed tightly against Michael as we smile for the millionth picture, and I swear it feels like my face is going to be forever frozen in this stiff smile, like a botox job gone wrong. I let Michael take my hand, leading me down the line, stopping every once and a while to talk to an overly enthusiastic reporter here and there. I tune out the noise, staring off into space when Michael's sudden laughter brings me soaring back to reality. I turn my face towards his when he says something. " I'm sorry what?" I ask, blinking my eyes owlishly as I look first at Michael and then at the reporter.

" She asked you who made your dress," Michael says, and I turn my head surprised that I was even being noticed, let alone questioned.

" Oh, uhm," I murmur shaking my head once more before my mind actually starts working again, " I'm not sure who the designer is, but I found the dress at this amazing vintage boutique called ReVamp." I smile sweetly as Michael rambles off a few more answers to questions before we continue down the line.

" I sounded like a complete idiot," I murmur to him, pressing my face into his shoulder as the blood rushes to my face.

" No you didn't, you were great," he says, his long fingers trailing down my arm before lacing with my fingers. He gives them a gentle and reassuring squeeze as we reach the entrance to the party, and I let out a deep breath as we walk into the house where I'm left to stand in stunned silence at the beauty of the large ballroom. Decorated so beautifully and painstakingly making all who see it feel as if they have stepped out of a time machine and into the 40's.

" Wow," I whisper, smiling as I look around. A full band plays an upbeat song, the dance floor filling quickly, " It's like magic." Michael laughs lowly by me, his fingers tight on mine as he leads me onto the dance floor.

" It's a night for magic Brooke, so enjoy it," he says, and I giggle when he whips me into rapid circles, my laughter mixing with the with the music that surrounds us.

* * *

Two hours later I manage to escape the craziness of the dance floor, finding peace and solitude as I step out into the warm summer night. The balcony overlooks the backyard where the scent of roses teases the air and thousands of twinkle lights, light the darkness around me. I smile, leaning against the stone, enjoying the breeze that blows around me. I cant remember the last time I had so much fun. Maybe that's a lie. The last time I had this much fun was when Michael took Olivia and I to Disneyland. That was a good night. Funny isn't it, that my happiness seems to be connected to one person? I shake my head, trying to forget the way he looked when he smiled down at me when were dancing. I'm moving into dangerous territory here, and it's not somewhere I want to be. It's not that I don't want love. Who doesn't? Its in the human nature to want or need to feel loved, its just not at the top of my priority list. I need to figure me out first. I lower my head into my hands taking a deep breath. Where did the sudden deep thoughts come from?

" This is why Olivia is always telling me that I think too much," I murmur, " Great, now I'm talking to myself."

" Hey, there you are," someone says from behind me, and I turn quickly my body tensing but instantly I relax when I see that it's just Olivia. Her face flushed and a smile so big and bright that even a blind man would have to look away.

" How are you doing best friend?" I ask smiling when she throws her arm around my shoulder.

" I am doing great. I never would have guessed a year ago, that I would be at a party rubbing elbows with Hollywood elite, dancing with Marlon Jackson no less. How are you doing Brookey-Bee?" Olivia asks, and I smile shaking my head.

" Good. I thought that it was going to be, different," I say, laughing when Olivia rolls her eyes at me.

" Admit it, you thought everyone was going to be a snob," she says, and I return the laughter nodding my head.

" Well, yeah," I say, " But I have been pleasantly surprised."

" Good. I mean I knew you would be, but its good that your having fun. Michael's having fun too," she says as nonchalantly as she can.

" Why do I get the feeling that I should be reading between the lines where that statement is concerned?" I ask, feeling curious by her remark.

" Oh please Brooke, as if you haven't noticed the way that boy has been looking at you all night," she say laughing loudly, " Wait this is you we're talking about. The boy is smitten Brooke, for you." My head spins at her words and I step away from her.

" You don't know what your talking about Liv. It isn't like that, not between Michael and me," I say, shaking my head at her.

" You sure about that?" she asks, taking my shoulders in her hands staring at me closely.

" Yes I'm sure," I murmur as I look at her.

" I don't believe you," she says, and I close my eyes trying to stay calm.

" Well you don't have to believe me. There is nothing between Michael and me," I say, taking a step to brush past her.

" Brooke wait," she says grabbing my arm pulling me back stopping me from leaving.

" What?" I snap, anger boiling inside of me. I don't know why I'm so angry. I mean would it be so crazy to think that Michael and I had something going on? We spend just about twenty four hours a day seven days a week together, surely people were going to think that the relationship we share is more than just strictly platonic.

" I'm sorry okay, I shouldn't have said anything. I just, I haven't you seen you this happy in a really long time," she says, and I roll my eyes at her.

" What are you talking about Liv? I was happy when we lived together," I say, tossing my wavy hair over my shoulder, " Does that mean I was in love with you too?"

" No you were content. When your with him, your happy, I mean really happy," she says, her eyes scanning over my face, " And I never said anything about you being in love with him."

" Why are you pushing this so damn hard?" I demand, my heart pounding harshly in my chest.

" Because, you like him and you wont admit it. He makes you happy and you wont admit it. You are so deep in denial and it scares me. I want you to be happy Brooke, you deserve to be happy, what are you so damn afraid of?" she asks, her voice sharp and condescending, " I think your falling in love with him, and instead of taking the risk and making the leap, your going to run and it pisses me off."

" So what! Yes, Michael makes me happy, is that a bad thing? So what if I cant breathe when he is gone? It was the same way with you, Jesus Liv, we're friends, nothing less, nothing more. Not everyone wants to snag a celebrity you know!" I snap, shaking my arm from her hold pushing back into the party.

* * *

I weave in and out of the crowd of people walking half blind from the tears that have collected in my eyes, when someone grabs my arm turning me around.

" Brooke?" Michael says, his face distorted from concern, " What happened?"

" Nothing, its nothing, I need to use the restroom," I say, shaking loose from his hold.

" Brooke," he calls out his voice raising above the music, " Brooke!" I ignore his calls for me as I make my way through the crowd. I find a vacant bathroom and fumble with shaky hands to turn the lock behind me.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

This night has been nothing short of amazing. Usually I dread these sorts of social gatherings, finding it hard to find any sort of common ground with the people around me, but its different this time. Because of Brooke. She makes it fun. Her wide eyed wonder forcing me to look at it as if its my first time again. I smile when Brooke excuses herself from the dance floor, and I watch as she maneuvers easily through the crowds of people and through one of the door's leading to a balcony.

" Does my brother have a crush on someone?" a small sing song voice comes from behind me and I turn finding Janet staring at me.

" What are you talking about?" I ask, pulling my hat from my head to keep my hands busy.

" I may be young big brother, but I know a crush when I see one," she says giggling at me.

" I think that you are far too nosey for your own good Janet," I say, smiling when she grins.

" So when you and Brooke get married can I be in the wedding?" she asks and I sputter out a laugh shaking my head as I pinch her cheeks.

" Your too funny little sister," I say, placing my hat back on my head.

" Don't look now, here comes your future wife," she sings, dancing away as I turn to look over my shoulder. I smile, my heart lifting slightly when I see Brooke weaving through people, but then I see her face. The pain and anger mixed on her face making her look lost and scared. I follow behind her, catching her on the stairs, taking her hand in my arms.

" Brooke," I say, watching as she physically struggles to mask her face, " What happened?"

" Nothing. It's nothing, I need to use the restroom," Brooke answers, shaking herself loose from my hold continuing out of the room.

" Brooke," I call after her raising my voice above the noise in the room, " Brooke!" I shake my head when she disappears from sight and I turn my head in search of someone who would have the answers. I look over the crowd noticing Olivia walking in from the balcony swiping her hands at her eyes quickly. Bingo. I make my way towards her, snatching her arm in my hand before she can take her seat, pulling her back outside. " What's going on with Brooke?" Olivia stares at me for a full minute before erupting into tears. I stand shocked when she buries her face in her hands her slim shoulders shaking with her tears.

" I'm…so…sorry…Michael….I….ruined….everything," Olivia wails, her words hitching over her tears. I pat her shoulder wondering what in the world she is talking about.

" Olivia, what are you talking about?" I ask, lifting her chin so that her teary eyes meet mine. I watch as she takes a few deep breathes to steady herself.

" I pushed Brooke, about what's going on between you two," she murmurs, and I stare at her dumbfounded. Was I really that obvious? I thought I was doing pretty good at hiding the fact that I was falling head over heels for Brooke.

" What do you mean?" I ask, deciding to play it safe rather than openly admit what it is that I feel.

" Oh come off it Michael. I may be a lot of things, but dumb isn't one of them. I see the way you look at her, and I have known Brooke long enough to know when she is falling for someone. It's just, since she has been with you, she seems to be the old Brooke again, and I forget that she is still damaged. That sounds so bad," she says, shaking her head, " Not damaged, but not whole either. I should have just dropped it but I didn't and now, now I wont be surprised if she doesn't speak to me the rest of the time that I'm here." I take a deep breath and turn away to stare into the dark night, trying to steady my own rocking thoughts? Brooke's falling for me? How did I not see this? I sort of pride myself on being able to read people, but Brooke, there was never any sort of indication.

" You need to tell me exactly what you said, what she said," I murmur turning to look back at her. She nods her head launching into her story.

* * *

_Brooke's POV _

The large bathroom that I have myself locked away in is comforting, slightly. Oh who am I kidding? What comfort can be sought and found when I ripped my best friend's head off over something so silly. I grip the sink my knuckles turning white as I stare in the mirror. So maybe, there is a small part of me that has dreamt of Michael. Who could blame me? He is the first male I have let into my life, into my world in such a long time, and instead of looking at me as if I'm a lesser human being, he has seen me through. In his own way. Silently strong. I let out a shaky breath as I realize that maybe, perhaps the things that Olivia said weren't so far off. Maybe, just maybe, what I feel for Michael goes further than just friendship. I don't know how it happened or when, none of that really matters in the end, all that matters now is that I have a decision to make. What am I going to do about it? Continue to run from everything and everyone, or as Olivia said take the chance and leap? I stare at myself in the mirror, taking a deep breath before turning towards the door. I open the door my hands surprisingly steady and slip from the bathroom. The hall looks darker than it had been, and I walk quickly, my steps echoing off the walls. I slide back into the ballroom, and find myself stuck behind a giggling group of women.

" I mean seriously, did you see how fat Michael's date is?" one of them asks, and the rest of the group cackles, yes cackles, at the observation. I look down pressing a hand to my stomach before looking back up. Fat? Since when is a hundred and thirty pounds fat?

" I know, and did you see what she was wearing?" another one chimes in and I blink my eyes slowly. So is this what Hollywood is all about? Tearing down perfect strangers?

" Well it doesn't really matter, did you see who Michael was dancing with?" the last of the group asks and my heart drops suddenly. I pass the crowd, hopefully unnoticed as I push through people, wondering why everyone has stopped dancing watching in shocked amazement at something.

" Excuse me," I say, slipping between two people and then I see what the big deal was. Michael dances dangerously close to a woman I don't recognize, his long fingers cupping the back of her neck, hidden by the cascade of black tendrils that flows over her slender shoulders. My heart skips a beat as I watch, painfully mesmerized along with everyone else around me. The chemistry between them palpable as they continue their dance and it takes everything inside of me not to look away, feeling as if I am intruding on some sort of intimate moment. The room explodes in wild cheers and I jump snapping out of my spiraling sadness, and blink teary eyes as I slip back into the crowd. I blink furiously as the breath hitches out of my chest. I push open the large front doors and look around fumbling in my handbag for my cell phone. The need for escape so great I fear it will swallow me whole.


	17. Chapter 17: Ignorance Is My New Best

**Author's Note: Okay, I lied, this is the last chapter for the night. The Song sampled in this chapter is Need by Hanna Pestle. I DO NOT OWN the song. Read/Enjoy/Review**

**Chapter 17: Ignorance Is My New Best Friend**

_" The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love….love someone else."-Anonymous._

* * *

I sit in the back of the taxi, silence surrounding me, save for the soft murmur of the radio playing in the background. I turn my head sighing lightly as I stare at the world passing me by. Maybe it was childish to leave the party without telling anyone, especially since I know Olivia will be tearing her hair out with worry when she realizes that I'm nowhere to be found. I suppose what is even more childish is the fact that I turned my cell phone off. Sometimes a girl just needs to be alone, this being one of those times. It shouldn't have bothered me to see Michael dancing with another girl, after all we aren't together. Sure I was his date, but did that mean I had to be attached to his hip the entire time? Or that I had some sort of claim on him? I didn't think so, so why did I run? Who was the girl he was dancing with? Why does it matter? I roll my eyes, pressing my fingers to them as I breathe deeply to steady myself. It doesn't help that everytime I close my eyes I see him. Smiling down at me, his face cast in shadow from the hat that he wore.

" Miss," the taxi driver says, but his voice sounds so far away, " Excuse me miss? We're here." I lift my head looking around, recognizing the gates of Neverland and give a soft apologetic smile.

" Sorry," I murmur, " How much do I owe you?"

" Twenty-two seventy five," the burly man answers and I flip open my hand bag pulling out a wad of bills pressing it into his waiting hand before opening the door to slide out.

" Wait," he calls out and I turn finding him staring at me in surprise.

" You just gave me a hundred dollars," he calls out and I smile lightly at him.

" Keep it," I call back turning back to the gates of Neverland. I wait while the lights from the car pass over me, and I turn watching the taxi until its out of sight. I flip open the security box, punching in the code. The gates open with little noise as I slide my shoes off. I walk slowly up the drive, half-expecting to see Max waiting at the door. Only there is no one to be seen or heard. I unlock the front door, finding the house bathed in darkness, remembering quickly that Michael had given everyone the night off. I thank God for that. No prying eyes, or questions. I slide the door shut behind me and flip the lock jumping when the sound echoes through the room. I walk hugging myself up to my room, flipping on the light staring at the flowers that sit on the desk. Roses. Roses Michael insisted on getting me. As a thank you, he said, for agreeing to be his date. I close my eyes, sliding down against the door, pulling my knees to my chest. When did things get so damn complicated?

I stand in front of the mirror staring at my naked body, turning slowly to the side. _'Did you see how fat Michael's date it?'_ The mocking voice of the stranger bouncing through my head. I run my hand over my stomach, turning back to look at myself, pressing my fingers against my pelvis bones. I was never one to allow what someone else said about me affect me, so why is what that small group of people said about me bothering me so much? _'What if Michael thinks your fat too?' _my inner voice asks and I cringe at the thought as I suck in, my all ready flat stomach barely moving. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to lose five or ten pounds. I shake my head as I walk into my bathroom. Weight isn't the issue here. The issue was greater than what a few Hollywood bitches think about me. Its undeniable now, that what I thought was just friendly feelings towards Michael has transformed into something so much more. Not that it really matters now. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that something either is or will be happening between Michael and his dance partner. I sigh, turning my face into the spray of the shower, and how I wish that I could just drown away my sorrows in the hot water and watch them circle the drain at my feet.

* * *

I sit at the piano in the studio, staring at the keys. I lift my hands smiling when the music swells through the room, echoing back to me. All this time the song and words had evaded me, and now as if I was seeing the light for the first time in my life the words and music tumble from me.

_I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were _

I pause slightly, my hands shaking as I force myself to continue the song.

_be with me, stay with me, just for now, let the time decide when I won't need you, my hand searches for your hand in a dark room I can't find you help me, are you looking for me? Can I feel any more, lie to me, I'm fading I can't drop you, tell me I don't need you. My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room, I can't find you help me, are you looking for me? _

_Etch this into my brain for me tell me how its supposed to be where everything will go and how I'll be without you by my side my hand searches for your hand in a dark room , I can't find you Help me, are you looking for me? My hand searches for your hand in a dark room I can't find you Help me, are you looking for me?_

I shake my head slowly, cursing the tears that roll down my cheeks. I never wanted this, I never wanted to need him. To feel as if he was the key to my happiness. I know that one day I'm going to have stand on my own two feet, but is it really a bad thing to want someone to stand with me? My heart free falls into my stomach when I hear someone clearing their throat. I turn my head slowly finding Olivia staring at me, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

" You finally found the words," Olivia murmurs, taking slow steps towards me, " I should be pissed that you just left without telling anyone, but I'm not." I smile slightly shrugging my shoulders.

" Liv, I'm sorry," I say, and her fast and easy laughter fills the studio as she slides onto the bench next to me.

" Why? I shouldn't have pushed you the way that I did. I should have just taken what you said as the truth," she says, resting her head on my shoulder.

" That's just it, it isn't the truth," I murmur and she lifts her head slowly turning to look at me, her eyes searching my face.

" I knew it!" she exclaims, her excitement coming to a quick end when I shake my head sadly, " Brooke, what?"

" It doesn't matter that I have feeling for him Liv, it can never happen," I say, closing my notebook quietly.

" What? Why not?" she urges but before I can answer her, she opens my notebook setting it in front of me, " Play this song again."

" Liv, come on," I whisper, shaking my head.

" No, play it again," she says, and I take a deep breath, putting my fingers to the keys. I begin playing again, closing my eyes not having to look at the words I had written. Michael's face flashes behind my closed eyes and I end the song, Olivia sniffling.

" Brooke, that was beau.." she starts saying but she's cut off by the sound of giggles. We both turn our eyes towards the door of the studio, Michael walking in. His dance partner on his arm, as she stares first at Michael and then at Olivia and me.

" Brooke," Michael says, and I blink furiously before I can comprehend that he even said my name.

" Sorry, I was just, we were uhm," I stammer getting up from the piano gathering my notebook in my hands.

" You don't have to apologize," he says, and I smile slightly Olivia taking my hand as we walk towards the door.

" We'll just get out of your way," Olivia says coolly, but Michael and his 'friend' block the doorway.

" Wait, Brooke, Olivia, this is Tatiana," he says, and I notice the way he squeezes the hand that is laced through his arm. I clench my teeth swallowing all of the scathing remarks that threaten to come spilling out of my mouth.

" So this is Brooke," Tatiana says smiling warmly at me, " Michael's told me so much about you." She extends her free hand to me and I seriously consider brushing right past her. I take her hand shaking it lightly.

" I'm sure he has, but don't believe him, ninety percent of it isn't true," I say, and I look up to find a look of shock on Michael's face, " Well I'm going to bed." I brush past Michael and Tatiana, Olivia by my side. It's eerily quiet when we get into my bedroom, and then my body begins shaking. A small quiver starting from somewhere deep inside of me, until I'm shaking so bad it feels as if I am going shatter from the force of the movements.

" Oh Brooke," Olivia says, and I turn into her arms, welcoming the comfort that only my best friend can give me.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I stand quietly in the doorway of the recording studio, watching as Brooke and Olivia walk across the yard_. 'What was that all about?' _I wonder to myself, only aware that I'm not alone when Tatiana lets out a sigh.

" Well that was interesting," Tatiana says, and I turn slowly blinking. I smile slowly, before hugging her fiercely.

" Don't worry about that, I'm sure Brooke didn't mean any harm. Her and Olivia had a small fight earlier," I say, leading my long time friend to the couch, caught off guard by her quick laughter, " What?"

" Nothing, I'm just glad that not much has changed with you Mike. Still just as naïve as you were when you were a kid, especially when it comes to girls," she says and I shake my head. " I'm not sure that I'm following you Tatiana," I say, loosening my tie.

" That girl is over the moon for you sugar," she says, and I roll my eyes.

" What? No, it isn't like that, at least not for Brooke," I murmur, laying my head back against the couch. I watch out of the corner of my eye when she gets up and walks over to the piano picking up a piece of paper.

" You sure about that?" she asks, handing me the paper. I lift my head scanning the page, recognizing Brooke's neat handwriting, the words rocking me to the core.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I sit on my oversized bed, Olivia sitting across from me and I smile spooning another bite of ice cream into my mouth.

" Mmm, its so good," I murmur, smiling when Olivia giggles in agreement, " I've missed this Livy."

" Me too Brookey," Olivia says, holding her ice cream out to me, indicating that its time to switch, " I'm seriously considering staying."

" No your not," I murmur smiling at her.

" I would, if you asked," she says seriously, and I nod my head. I knew that all ready. That's why she's my best friend, because she is always there whenever I need her, always there when I don't think that I need her.

" I know, but I would never ask you to give up your dreams. Besides its what only ten more months before you'll be back, I'm sure we can make it that long, only next time it will have to be me who comes and visits you," I say, smiling at the idea of going to Paris.

" You better come see me," she says, " Brooke, what are you going to do? About Michael." I take a deep breath my appetite flying out of the window at the mention of his name.

" I don't know, but I'll figure it out," I say, playing with the ice cream.

" You know that I will always be there for you," she says, and I nod my head. " Well anyways, other than the mini argument, did you enjoy the party?"

" It was good, except for when I was called fat," I say, laughing as I take a huge bit of the frozen dessert.

" Who in the world called you fat?" she asks, her voice shocked at just the idea of someone saying something so foul.

" I have no idea, some fake blonde and her posse of bitches," I murmur, looking up at her.

" You know that your aren't fat right? I mean do I have to worry about you when I leave? That your really going to go Hollywood on me, and develop an eating disorder, or worse become a crack head?" she asks, and I laugh loudly smacking her with a pillow. " Oh its on now," she says setting aside her ice cream picking up a pillow hitting me right in the face with it.

* * *

I wake slowly to the feel of something tickling my face. I run a hand over my face and sit up, realizing that Olivia and I had successfully ruined every single one of my pillows, the evidence laying around us in the form of small white feathers. I grin, looking over to see my best friend and partner in crime sound asleep. I laugh slightly as I slide out of bed, shaking the feathers from my hair as I straighten out my shirt and shorts. I slip out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I walk towards Michael's room, with every intention of apologizing to him for the way I acted the night before. I make it halfway down the hall watching the floor as I go, when the sound of a door opening catches my attention. I look up smiling, expecting to see Michael walking from his room sleep rumpled, instead it's Tatiana, her long slim fingers quickly fastening the buttons on one of Michael's black shirts, her hair tousled.

" Oh, Brooke, good morning," Tatiana says, and I stare at her, the room rocking around me sickly, " We're you looking for Michael?" I nod my head slowly, before finally being able to find my voice.

" Yeah, but it can wait," I murmur, about to turn around when Michael appears, standing in his doorway. His smooth chest exposed from his lack of a shirt, his white pin striped suit pants sitting low and unbuttoned on his hips exposing the waist band of his underwear.

" Brooke!" Michael exclaims, looking between Tatiana and me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

" I uhm, I just came to apologize for last night. I was incredibly rude," I stammer, swallowing quickly as I clamp down on my bubbling emotions, " I'm just, I'm going to go." I turn, walking quickly down the hall, breaking into a sprint taking the stairs two at a time. I burst into my room, slamming the door behind me. I guess I have my answer now don't I?


	18. Chapter 18: Fight Or Flight

**Author's Note: I'm back again, here to upload a few more chapters :D A HUGE THANK YOU TO MichaelJacksonFan227, jonasjacksonheart14, and toobad4mj2005 for all of ya'll's AMAZING reviews on this story. Seriously, you all make me so happy whenever I see new reviews it motivates me that much more to keep adding, and to keep writing :) So Thank YOU ALL! Now onto Chapter 18! Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 18: Fight or Flight**

_" I am going away to an unknown country, where I shall have no past and no name, and where I shall be born again with a new face and an untried heart."- Sidonie Gabrielle._

_

* * *

_

I sit in my room listening to the shower run, Olivia singing at the top of her lungs and smile. I haven't told her about the scene I walked in on earlier, deciding not to ruin what little time I have left with her over Michael and Tatiana. Now I know, that whatever feelings I have for Michael, as crazy and mixed up as they are, wont ever be reciprocated. Which is a good thing probably. Now I can move on, finish the job I started, and when its time to walk away I can do so without feeling like I'm leaving my heart behind me. I lost my focus somewhere along the line and let my emotions start running me, which needs to stop. I sigh rolling over my bed grabbing Olivia's phone as it vibrates for the millionth time against the hard wood of my side table. I flip it open finding three text messages.

_' Missing you beautiful, cant wait to see you when you get back.'_ I grin noting the name and quickly put her phone back down when I hear the bathroom door opening.

" Isn't it amazing how a nice long shower can make you feel awesome," Olivia says and all I can do is nod my head and smile at her, " What? Why the goofy grin?"

" Oh no reason, by the way Cooper says he cant wait to see you again," I murmur walking towards my closet.

" Aww, he is so," she starts saying, trailing off quickly, " Wait how do you know?"

" Well, your phone was buzzing against the nigh stand, rather annoying f I do say so myself, and I got curious," I say, rifling through my hanging clothes, " So, tell me about Cooper."

" Well, we met in class, I swear he is like one of a handful of straight guys in the program. And he is oh so gorgeous," she says, running a brush through her hair as she smiles, " Six feet two inches of pure Carolina muscle, green eyes, oh so very yummy"

"So are things serious with you guys?" I ask, pulling on a black spaghetti strapped shirt, turning to look at her.

" I don't know, I mean," she pauses as she turns around sliding her bra on, " We spend all of our time together, and we've gone out a few times, its all pretty new. But I can see it being serious."

" I'm happy for you Livy," I say, brushing my hands against my jean skirt, " Might not want to tell him how you spent all night dancing with Marlon though."

" Yeah that's probably a good idea," she says giggling as we make our way from my room, " Let's go do some damage."

* * *

" Olivia Jane, if you don't get down here right now your going to miss your flight," I yell up the stairs and part of me secretly wishes that she would stay. Somehow spending the day with her made me forget about everything that happened early this morning, made me forget seeing Tatiana do the walk of shame. I smile even though my heart lurches slightly in my chest when Olivia bounces down the stairs her suitcases clanking behind her.

" Geeze woman, hold your horses, I had to rearrange things," Olivia says, turning to hug Marlon and Michael who have been standing by me to say their goodbye's, " I think I went a little overboard shopping today."

" Take care of yourself Liv," Marlon says, passing her off to Michael.

" Thank you Michael, I had so much fun," Olivia says, and Michael just laughs.

" Anytime, I mean it," Michael says, and I know that he is serious. He would do anything for my best friend. Anything for me too I suppose. I shake my head at the thought clearing my throat lightly.

" Well we better go," I say, jiggling my keys in my hand.

" Mind if I come along?" Michael asks, and my heart slams into my throat as I shake my head.

" Yes," I blurt out, and I'm met with three incredulous stares as I shift my weight from foot to foot trying to come up with some reason on why Michael shouldn't come along.

" Brooke!" Olivia snaps and I look up at her trying to tell her silently why I had such a problem with Michael coming along, " Rude much."

" I mean, you said earlier you wanted to get some work done in the studio," I say covering my tracks as quickly as I can, " Besides I kind of wanted to do this on my own." I wait for a response, any response when Michael clears his throat.

" Your right Brooke, I do need to get down to the studio," he says, and I try to fake a smile, but quickly learn it isn't worth the effort.

" Then it's settled, come one Liv," I say, grabbing her hand, pulling her behind me as she calls out to Michael and Marlon.

* * *

The car has been silent for the last forty-five minutes, as I drive towards the airport part of me wishing that I could get on the plane with Olivia, and fly away from everything that I'm going to be facing when I return to Neverland, and yet another part of me knows that running away from the problems lying ahead of me will do me no good. Like my Mama would say, _" You can stand on the other side of the bridge and look back at the remains burning and falling apart but when you burn a bridge at one end the other end is gonna burn down too."_

" I was going to stay out of it, mind my own business for once, but I changed my mind," Olivia says breaking the silence as she turns in her seat to look at me, " What's going on with you Brooke?"

" I don't know what your talking about," I murmur casting a look over my shoulder to change lanes.

" Oh cut the crap. You have been an ice queen as far as Michael is concerned," she says, and my body instinctively tenses up at the mere mention of his name. " See I just say his name and your whole demeanor changes. Did something happen?"

" Yes," I answer quietly. No point in lying, Olivia would find out eventually, and I don't look forward to a phone call at four in the morning demanding to know why I didn't say something sooner.

" Like what?" she asks, and I shrug my shoulders sluggishly as I recall everything that happened this morning.

" Well, when I woke up this morning you were still sleeping. So I made my way through the mountain of feathers that were in the room and decided that I owed Michael an apology for the way that I acted last night," I say launching into the tale, " Anyways, I got to his room, only to find Tatiana walking out of his room wearing one of his shirts."

" Okay, maybe she spent the night and needed something else to wear and he let her borrow a shirt," she offers and I can tell that just like me she too is searching for any possible excuse other than the painfully obvious one for what I had seen.

" I thought that at first too, until Michael came to the door, shirtless with his pants unbuttoned," I say, feeling somewhat relieved when Olivia gasps. At least I'm not the only one who felt that way, maybe I'm not so crazy after all.

" You mean, he, and she, they," she stammers and I nod my head trying to hide the fact that its killing me, " I'm going to kill him." I watch in horror as Olivia reaches into her bag and pulls her cell phone out. I pull into the closest parking spot to me, and manage to snatch the phone out of her hands.

" No. You cant say anything to him Liv, swear to me you wont say anything," I say, holding the phone out of my window.

" Well why shouldn't I say anything, I warned him that if he hurt you he'd have me to answer too," she says and I shake my head sadly as I look at her.

" That's just it, he doesn't know he hurt me, he doesn't know how I feel, and I'd rather keep it that way. I will save myself the humiliation of him or anyone other than us knowing how I feel," I say, listening as she sighs heavily.

" All right. Brooke, I'm sorry," she murmurs as I hand her the phone back.

" I'm not, because now I know that I am capable of opening up again," I say, pushing out of the car, " And next time it will be easier."

" You know, for a girl who has a broken heart your awfully damn optimistic," she says, pulling her suitcase from the trunk of my car, " If it was me I would be crying into a bucket of Chunky Monkey, swearing that I would never fall in love again."

" Yeah, well what can I say, I'm special," I murmur, walking arm in arm with her towards the entrance.

I drive down the freeway wiping my eyes furiously as the tears continue to pour down my face. I thought saying good bye would be easier this time around, but it wasn't. It was harder. Having her here, falling into the ease of our friendship again, as if she never left made parting ways so much harder than imaginable. I blink furiously, trying to clear the tears from my eyes. No point in crying, its not like I'll never see her again. I sigh heavily as I wipe my eyes again, feeling completely and undeniably alone.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I pace the studio looking towards the clock every few seconds. Ridiculous I know, considering Brooke has only been gone for an hour. There was something off about her today, and I cant put my finger on it. I think over the day trying to find where things had gone off course. The night before she didn't seem too happy, but I assumed that was from the fight that she and Olivia had, even though Tatiana would beg to differ. Could it be possible that Brooke feels the same way I do? I run my hands over my hair sitting down at the piano with a thud, looking up to see the music that Brooke had written. It was phenomenal. Beautiful. Deep. And sad. I close my eyes, losing myself in thought when the sudden buzzing of my phone causes me to jump. I pick it up seeing Olivia's number flashing across the screen

" Hello."

" Michael Joseph Jackson,Olivia says, and my heart sinks as she raises her voice, "You are in so much trouble."

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I sit in the car working on masking the tears that I had incessantly cried on the ride home. Didn't really matter though, all it would take is one good look at me and everyone would know I spent the last hour and fifteen minutes crying like the baby that I am. I roll my eyes at myself and push out of the car, making my way into the house, barely paying any attention to what's going on around me, when someone reaches out touching my shoulder. I let out a blood curdling scream and turn around pressing a hand against my heart as Max stands before me smiling sheepishly.

" Sorry Brooke, didn't mean to scare you," Max says raising his hands in front of him. I breathe deeply steadying my racing heart as I laugh and shake my head.

" My fault, I wasn't really paying attention. I was off in my own little world," I murmur, looking up at him unable to resist grinning. Max just has one of those smiles that is so contagious.

" Okay, well Michael asked me to, ask you to go out to the studio when you got home," he says and as quickly as the smile came, it disappears at the thought of having to work in the studio with him for hours on end.

" Yeah okay, thanks Max," I murmur heading towards the stairs, " Just tell him I'll be there in ten, I'm going to change." I walk up the stairs, dread filling me as I go.

* * *

I stand in front of the recording studio trying to decide if I want to actually go in. It would be so easy to just turn around and run, hell by the time Michael even realized I was gone I would have a considerable lead. I sigh, shaking my head. Of course I cant do that. Why? Because Michael would find me, and if he couldn't find me he would do something humiliating like call the police. Before I knew what hit me I would have a search party out looking for me, and my face would be plastered from Los Angeles to Timbuktu. So no, running wasn't an option. Unfortunately. I walk into the studio finding Michael talking quietly with Paul, one of the sound and mixing board technicians. I clear my throat slightly and watch when Michael lifts his head turning his face towards me, a small smile on his lips. Something seems different about him though, a sadness in his eyes that has my heart thudding sluggishly in my chest.

" Brooke, hey, its going to be a minute before Paul's ready for us to get to work," Michael says, and I nod my head getting ready to move back towards the door, " Will you take a walk with me? I need to talk to you." I freeze mid-step cringing at the thought of being alone with him.

" Yeah, sure," I answer following him out of the studio.

The warm air dances around us as we walk and though its still summer chills run across my skin as I fight the urge to shiver.

" I had an interesting phone call before you got back," Michael says, his smooth voice echoing through the night air.

" Okay, and this concerns me why?" I ask, looking up at him as I cross my arms across my chest, hugging myself tightly.

" Because the call was from Olivia," he says, and I stop walking shock coursing through my veins. I feel the blood rushing from my face as Michael turns to look at me, his eyes searching over me.

" I told her to keep her mouth shut, to not say anything," I say barely whispering.

" Brooke, I understand that what you saw was," he starts saying reaching his hands out to take my shoulders between his palms but I shrink away, shaking my head.

" Michael please. You're a grown man, and its your house. Who you choose to sleep with is none of my business, so please just don't," I say backing away again when he takes a step towards me.

" But Brooke I didn't sleep with Tatiana," he says, and I laugh coldly shaking my head.

" Michael, I may not be one to practice sex, but I do know that when a girl leaves a man's room when the sun is barely up, wearing his shirt, it usually means they had sex," I say, my voice growing cold from my anger. Did he really think I was born yesterday?

" Well your wrong," he says, and I shake my head at him crossing my arms over my chest.

" I don't think I am, but its like I said Michael its your house, your life, you're a big boy, you don't owe me or anyone else an explanation," I say, amused when Michael blushes deeply.

" Brooke, stop it. I didn't sleep with her," he growls out and I roll my eyes.

" If you say so," I murmur, turning to walk away from him.

" Where are you going?" he calls behind me, and I turn slowly to stare at him.

" I'm leaving," I say, watching when his whole body tenses up at my words.

" Leaving? Where are you going to go?" he asks and I shrug my shoulders as I turn to walk away from him.

" Doesn't really matter, all I know is I have to get the hell away from this place, and you," I call out. Okay, so maybe that was a little on the harsh side, but I asked him to drop it. I told him it was none of my business. And instead of at least being honest with me about what happened, he lied. That was one thing I never expected from Michael, but this just goes to show, that everyone is the same.


	19. Chapter 19: Undeniable Loneliness

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 19: Undeniable Loneliness**

_" You said you would never hurt me._

_ You said you would never make me cry._

_ Well there's one thing I can admit._

_ You tell a perfect lie."-Anonymous_

* * *

A small smirk lays on my face as Michael continues to pound on my door. He's been at it for the last two hours, yelling my name trying to get me to talk to him. Ahh the joys of a locking door. Good thing he hasn't thought to look on the top of the door frame, where I _'expertly' _hid the spare key. To be completely honest I have nothing to say to him. I don't want to hear the pitiful excuses for what I saw, but most of all I know that if I try and talk to him everything that I feel will just come tumbling out of my mouth and that isn't what I want. I don't want him to know about the crazy, mixed up feelings that are rolling around inside of me. All of them for him. I close the zipper on my duffle bag carefully as I steady myself. It's going to be difficult getting past Michael, I all ready know this, but I know that staying here, with him, will only make it harder. I pull open my bedroom door, catching Michael off guard, unfortunately, he recovers quick enough to block the door way.

" What are you doing?" Michael asks, his tall frame blocking me easily as he holds his hands on the door frame, his feet spread apart successfully blocking every way out of the bedroom door. I stare at him for a moment and decide that I could try to crawl between his legs, but that would be ridiculous. I shouldn't have to fight to get out of this house, to get away from him.

" I told you, I'm leaving," I answer defiantly, tossing my head up to look at him.

" Where are you going to go Brooke?" he asks, his tone matching my defiance lick for lick.

" I thought I made that perfectly clear outside, but if you need a recap I will be more than happy to give it to you," I hiss out between clenched teeth, waiting a second for a response, but when he remains silent I smirk, " I didn't think so. Now move."

" No," he says and I roll my eyes going to his right only to find that he follows my movements. I growl, growing frustrated when I do the same thing going to the left only to have my movements continuously mirrored by him.

" Will you just move!" I demand, feeling all of my anger and hurt building so strongly and I know I'm about to explode.

" No. Not until you tell me why your so upset. What did I do?" he asks his anger being replaced by hurt and confusion.

" Nothing Michael okay, I just," I pause trying to steady my voice and warring emotions, " I need some time. Away from here, away from you."

" Why? Because you think I slept with Tatiana?" he asks, and I shrink away from him, my body and emotions shutting down at the mention of the _'incident.'_ " That's it, isn't it?"

" Michael, please," I plead dropping the duffel bag to the floor of my bedroom realizing that I wont be going anywhere. At least not for now. " I told you, it isn't my business if you slept with her or not."

" If that's the case, then why is it bothering you so much?" he asks, and I turn away from him, shaking my head.

" It doesn't Michael okay, just please," I trail off, my words running dry when I feel Michael's hands on my shoulders turning me around so that I am forced to look at him.

" What can I do to prove to you that nothing happened between me and Tatiana?" he asks and I shake my head trying to swallow the tears that seem to burn in my eyes.

" Michael you don't have to prove anything to me," I say, everything growing suddenly still and silent when he just stares at me, his eyes scanning over my face. I watch him, holding my breath as he lowers his head towards mine. My body instinctively tenses when his lips are a breath away from mine.

" Michael," I whisper, looking up at him from under my eyelashes. He closes the gap between us, his lips meeting mine. My muscles relax at the ease of our kiss, almost like our lips were meant for each others. He pulls away slowly, his eyes meeting mine slowly as I let out a shaky breath.

" Brooke," he murmurs, and I shake my head stepping away from him trying to clear the fog that the kiss caused to swirl and settle over my brain.

" Why did you do that?" I ask, my arms laying limply at my side. He smiles slowly, almost nervously as he runs long fingers over his dark hair. " Your making this so much harder for me Michael."

" Making what hard?" he asks, his hands traveling down so that they are buried in the pockets of his jeans.

" Walking away," I murmur, brushing the back of my hand over my cheeks swiping at the tears that have started trailing down my face.

" I don't want you to walk away Brooke. I should have told you how I felt a while ago, I just, I know that I have to take things slow with you, I don't want to rush you into anything that you aren't ready for," he says and I shake my head trying to take everything in that he was saying while at the same time trying to block it all out.

" Michael, I," I say, trying to find the words to say. A part of me screaming for me to tell him I want so many things with him, while another part of me tells me to just be quiet keep everything hidden away, because as long as my feelings are hidden I cant get hurt.

" Listen, we don't have to jump into anything, we can take things slow," he says, walking towards me, his wide palms framing my face. " Lets just take it a day at a time." I stare at him unsure of what to feel in this moment.

" I don't know Michael, I don't know if I'm ready to take that step," I murmur my cheeks heating up under his wide palms.

" Brooke, I will never hurt you," he murmurs and I smile nodding my head. I can't keep running from life, more importantly I don't want to run. Not from him.

* * *

I wake slowly, my eyes adjusting to the light that shines through my window and I smile at the feel of Michael's arm laying across my waist holding me snuggly to him. So it wasn't a dream. The last thing I remember was laying on my bed next to Michael, my head pillowed on his shoulder as I listened to him talk. Telling me stories of his childhood, growing up in Hollywood. Telling me his dreams, his voice lulling me to sleep. I roll over finding Michael's face bathed in sunlight as he sleeps soundly next to me, and as quickly as the happiness fills me it disappears, being replaced by a fear of the unknown. My life completely changed when I was sixteen and since then I never ventured into an actual relationship, with anyone. Too afraid of being hurt, but mostly afraid that at the end of the day nobody is going to want someone with as much emotional baggage as me. In the few months that I have gotten to know Michael, I know that he has this incessant need, if you will, to fix people. So I cant help but wonder if what he thinks we can have is all just his attempt at fixing me. Am I really so damaged that someone like him would fabricate feelings in order to make me whole again? I sit up in bed, my legs bent as I brace my elbows against my knee's staring out at the sunshine that falls over the grounds of Neverland. I rub my hands over my face. Maybe that isn't the case though. Maybe, just maybe, Michael does actually have feelings for me, real feelings and this has nothing to do with trying to make me right again. It looks like I have a choice to make, progress in this relationship with Michael and see where it takes me, or run for the hills. Where's a friend when you need one?

* * *

I walk out of my bathroom, running my brush through my wet hair, noticing immediately that Michael is nowhere to be seen. Instead of his head resting on my pillow, a small piece of paper lays folded. I smile opening the note slowly.

'_Went down to the studio, come on down when your out of the shower.'_

I carefully fold the paper slipping into the back pocket of my jeans as I walk towards my door, stopping short when my phone starts ringing. I roll my eyes, picking my cell phone up from my dresser.

" Hello," I answer smiling as I lower myself to the corner of my bed when Olivia's voice rings through from the other end, " I'm so glad you called, I really need to talk to you."

Forty-five minutes later I walk towards the studio, feeling as if all of the questions and reservations I had about Michael and I have been successfully washed away. Leave it to Olivia to make everything make sense again. I couldn't even be mad at her for calling Michael even though I asked her not to. I smile as I pull open the door to the studio, faltering only slightly when I look around and realize that Michael isn't here. Instead it's Caleb who sits at the soundboard, his brown hair falling into his face as his hands work quickly over the buttons. Out of everyone working on Michael's album, Caleb is the youngest. Technically, and only by three months.

" Hey Caleb, where's Michael?" I ask, coming to stand next to him returning the warm smile that he sends my way.

" Hey Brooke. Michael is in the dance studio," Caleb says, turning in his chair stretching his long body.

" Hmm, I could have sworn he said the studio. Well, I guess that could have meant dance studio," I murmur, shaking my head when Caleb chuckles, " Sorry."

" No, it's cute when you do that," he says, blushing deeply when I blink at him slowly.

" When I do what?" I ask, running my hand over my hair a feeling of nervousness washing over me.

" When you mumble to yourself, forgetting that people are around," he says, and I smile shrugging my shoulders, " Listen, I'll walk over with you." I smile as we fall into step next to each other. Out of all of the techs that have been working on the project, Caleb was the easiest to get along with. He works hard, but knows just when a little comedic relief is needed to break up tension.

" It's hot today." I shake my head stopping to look up at him.

" What?" I ask, having missed what he said because I was lost in my own head.

" I was just saying that it's hot today," he says, and I smile apologetically at him.

" Oh yeah it is," I say walking gratefully into the dance studio, the air conditioned air cooling off my heated skin. The relief lasts only a second when Caleb stops me from walking forward, and I look towards what has him staring in shock his hand gripping my arm. Michael stands clad in just a pair of jeans, Tatiana wrapped tightly around him, his lips meshing with hers as if they were meant to be just like that. If I were an artist my fingers would be itching for a sketch pad and pencil to capture the moment, unfortunately I am nothing more than a girl watching helplessly as her heart breaks in front of her. Caleb clears his throat loudly from beside me and I cringe when Michael and Tatiana part ways, looking over with sheepish smiles on their faces, only Michael's smile fades quickly, a look of horror and shock replacing the dreamy look that had been there before it.

" Brooke," Michael says slowly shaking Tatiana's hand from his naked shoulder, and I shake my head slowly as I step away slowly.

" Don't," I whisper, my throat constricting tightly cutting off my words as I turn quickly dropping the bottle of water that I was holding in my hand. I run as fast as I can, Michael's voice calling for me, my name rolling off his lips bouncing around in my head as the breath tears out of my chest. I slam into the house, nearly knocking Max over as I rush past him.

" Brooke! what's wrong?" Max calls for me as I take the stairs to my room two at a time. I ignore him as I shove open the bedroom door, the wood smacking against the wall with a satisfying smacking noise. I look around as my chest heaves, spotting my still packed duffel bag. Convenient. I grab it quickly as my hands numbly race over my dresser grabbing my phone and car keys. I turn around, a sense of deja'vu circling me when Michael stands in the door way his arms stretched out to block me from leaving.

" Brooke," Michael says, but the sound of his voice, the voice that once soothed me and made me feel like everything would be okay, makes me fight the strong urge to vomit.

" I don't want to hear it Michael. No more. I'm done. I trusted you! What was all that talk last night Michael, of how you felt about me. How nothing happened with you and Tatiana?" I scream, my voice wobbly as I fight the tears that threaten to spill over.

" Nothing happened," he urges and I scream the sound ripping from me as I clench my fists tightly.

" Come off it Michael! Do you honestly think I was born yesterday! Next thing you'll try and tell me is that nothing happened down in the studio, even though I saw it with my own two eyes. I believed you, I trusted you, more importantly I fell in love with you. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. But believe me when I say, it will never happen again, because honestly if I never see you again a day in my life I could care less," I spit, shoving past him running down the stairs. I throw things blindly into my car before getting behind the wheel. I throw the car into reverse jerking forward when I stop only long enough to slam it into drive and fasten my seatbelt, looking in my rearview only long enough to see Michael running behind my car. My car roars out of the gates of Neverland as I drive away from everything that had mattered to me for the last few months, realizing that I am completely and utterly alone.


	20. Chapter 20: Home Sweet Home

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 20: Home Sweet Home…**

_" Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home."-Bill Cosby _

* * *

I stare at the pretty white house my heart hammering in my chest. I drove close to forty hours to get back here. The one place that I ran away from, the place I swore I would never go back to. The second that I crossed the North Carolina state border my heart plummeted into my stomach.

" What are you doing here Brooke?" I ask myself out loud, shaking my head. Of course I didn't have an answer. I've been asking myself the same question for the last seventy six miles, and haven't been able to come up with an answer to it. I take a deep breath, pushing myself out of the car, making my way up the familiar steps. I jiggle my car keys in my hand nervously wondering if I should just walk right in, or knock. I lift my hand ready to knock when the door knob turns and the breath catches in my throat.

" Brooke?" a soft voice asks in amazement and I back away trying to smile.

" Mama," I say, inclining my head as my blood starts chilling under my skin. My body stiffens when she throws her arms around me hugging me close to her, after a few seconds my body relaxes and I return the hug.

" Let me look at you," she says, pulling away to run her hands over my head taking my face between her hands, " Skin and bones." I smile when she clucks her tongue at me, wrapping her arms around my waist as she pulls me into my childhood home.

I sit picking at a piece of fresh baked pecan pie trying not to fidget under my Mother's gaze.

" Are you going to eat it or pick at it?" Mom asks and I smile sheepishly pushing the plate away from me shrugging my shoulders.

" Sorry," I murmur, sipping from my glass of lemonade.

" Should I ask why your back here? Your not in trouble with the law are you?" she asks and I choke on my drink shaking my head.

" What? Mama no, I'm not in trouble with the law. I just," my words trail off as I close my eyes and the only thing I can see is the way Michael and Tatiana stood wrapped around each other my eyes flashing open again, " I missed home."

" Well, your more than welcome to stay, as long as you want," she says reaching a thin hand out to pat my shoulder.

" What about Dad, you sure that's going to be okay with him?" I ask shifting in my seat. I notice the tense quiet that falls in the kitchen and I look up from my glass catching the way that her eyes have misted over, " Mama, what is it?"

" Your father moved out, six months ago," she says her voice full of an emotion I can now fully understand. The emotion that comes only from having your heart broken by someone that matters to you more than anyone else in this world.

" What do you mean he moved out?" I ask, my head reeling at the idea of my Mother alone in this house.

" We've been having trouble for a while now Brooke, trouble you don't need to be worrying yourself with," she says taking my hand in hers, " All that matters is my little girl is home now." She beams at me and I cant help but smile back.

* * *

I push open the door to my bedroom, dropping my duffel bag to the floor with a thud, noticing that nothing has changed. Part of me was expecting to find all of my things gone and packed away, erasing any and all memories that I grew up in this room, in this house. I shut the door lightly behind me and turn in a slow circle taking it all in. A lifetime of memories flashing around me. I sit on my bed, pulling the red beaded pillow Mom made for me the Christmas before I left home into my lap. My head snaps up when I hear my phone vibrating in my purse. I tossed it in my bag before leaving Neverland not bothering to pick it up, probably because I kept the music so loud that I could barely think let alone hear it ringing. I lean down picking up my purse pulling it into my lap as I brace my back against the headboard. Over the course of forty hours, almost two days I have managed to miss over fifty calls and thirty text messages. My body convulses when I realize that the majority of them are from Michael, with a few from Max and Olivia for good measure. I go through deleting the missed calls before opening my inbox.

'_Brooke, I'm sorry. Please, please come back.' _

'_I don't know what to say Brooke, I made a huge mistake, and I hurt you, and I never wanted to hurt you, I don't even know how it happened, it wasn't supposed to happen.'_

' _Please Brooke, call me, just so I know that your okay…'_

' _Brooke Elisabeth, you have me scared to death. I would think with us being best friends and everything that you would come to me, at the very least call me when something bad happens. Please, please, please call me. I could care less if you call Michael, because as far as I'm concerned he isn't on my good side at the moment. Please just call me Brookey.'_

' _Brooke, it's Max. Well that was stupid why did I put that there, of course you know who it is. Mike's really torn up, so please call him, and if you aren't ready to call him, call me, or call Olivia at least, she's scared too girl. I love you.' _

' _You've been gone for twenty-four hours Brooke, and I guess I don't blame you, if I could run away from me I would too. Please Brooke, just give me the chance to make things right again, please.' _

I hesitate to look at the last few messages, knowing that they will be the ones that will hurt the most.

' _I think I get it now, that you aren't just gone to blow off steam, and seeing as how you wont answer phone calls I guess I will just have to tell you what I'm thinking this way. I never slept with Tatiana, and I know that's hard for you to believe seeing as how you saw what you saw. I have never had a meaningful, or real relationship in my life Brooke. Tatiana is one of my oldest and best friends. And sure I fancied myself attracted at one point, but not anymore. Yes, seeing her at the party at Berry's brought up old feelings but those feelings don't hold a candle to what I feel for you. The kiss was a huge mistake. The biggest mistake of my life and if I could go back and change it I would. I miss you Brooke. All ready. I miss hearing you rummage through the kitchen in the middle of the night in search of junk food, and I miss hearing you sing. Please Brooke, just come home.' _

My fingers shake and hover over the delete button, everything logical inside of me telling me to delete it, erase anything and everything that reminds me of Michael, instead, I save it. I dial Olivia's number and listen to it ring, a sense of relief washing over me when it's her voicemail that picks up.

_" Hey, Livy, it's Brooke. I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls, or texts, I was busy. You would never believe where I am, or maybe you will. I'm home. In Wilmington. Don't go having a heart attack and before you freak out I have to tell you, Dad isn't here. He and Mom separated six months ago, so you don't have to worry about that kind of drama, at least not yet anyways. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. Don't know if I'm going to stay or what, but I will let you know. I just need a few days to clear my head, I love you Livy. Sorry I made you worry. Forever and always," _I say, hanging up tossing the phone down onto my bed before rolling over onto my side falling into an exhausted and dreamless sleep.

* * *

I walk slowly down the stairs feeling a million times better since I was able to get some sleep and a good shower.

" Mama," I call out, my voice echoing around the house, " Mama?" I make my way into the kitchen staring at the room from the door way. Sunshine yellow paint covers the walls and I remember the day Mom and me spent painting this room. We were so proud of ourselves for getting it done in a day and with minimal mess, and when Dad came home he laughed and spun both of us in his arms telling us on sunny days we would need sunglasses just to eat in the kitchen. Life was beautiful back then. Nothing could split us up, or so I thought, but life and circumstances proved to be too much for our happy family. I shake my head snapping myself out of my walk down memory lane, pressing a hand to my rumbling stomach. I make my way to the fridge stopping to read the note that Mom left on the door for me.

' _Brooke, _

_I had to go to work today, I was hoping to get the chance to talk to you last night, but when I came to get you for dinner you were fast asleep. Glad to see that your sleeping again. Anyways, I should be home around four-thirty. _

_Love Always, _

_Mom_

_P.S There are homemade cinnamon buns in the warmer, I know their your favorite.'_

I smile softly, turning to the warmer pulling it open, the sweet smell of cinnamon rising up to greet me. It's good to be home.

* * *

I stand, staring at the familiar spot on Wrightsville Beach, my heart beating sluggishly against my ribs. This one spot ruined my life, in one moment everything changed. Nothing was the same after that.

" I heard from Shelly in the market that you were back," a deep voice calls out over the breeze and I turn slowly, finding my dad standing with his hands in his pockets, his sandy blonde hair ruffled from the whipping air. I blink furiously against the salty air and the tears that are building in my eyes, nodding my head. " How long you staying?"

" I uhm, I don't know," I answer truthfully, a feeling of shame washing over me as his eyes appraise me.

" I'd like it if you could come over sometime, before you leave, so that we can talk," he says, and I stare at him in shock. To be honest, I was hoping I could stay here for as long as it took to repair my damaged heart without running into him. Looks like for once, luck isn't on my side.

" Sure," I say, crossing my arms over my chest, hugging myself against the sudden chill.

" How about tonight? I'll make dinner," he says, kicking a foot at the sand.

" All right. Where are you staying?" I ask, watching as a pained look crosses over his face.

" Just off of main and ninth. Small cracker box house, blue shutters, cant miss it," he says, walking forward giving me a slight and guarded hug, " I'll see you around five then?"

" Yeah," I murmur watching as he walks away. My heart races in my chest as I make my way back up the beach. How am I supposed to tell my mom that I'm having dinner with my dad, the one who ran me out of town in the first place? Who knows, maybe he's changed, or maybe this is all just a set up for him to tear me down for the second time in my life.


	21. Chapter 21: Building Bridges

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**Chapter 21: Building Bridges**

" Old as she was, she still missed her Daddy sometimes."-Gloria Naylor

* * *

I sit staring at my laptop screen, my mouse hovering over the email that has been sent to me from Michael. My stomach in knots as a war wages inside of me. The bitter, heartbroken side of me telling me to just delete it, and block him out so that he has absolutely no way of getting to me anymore. While the hopeful side of me tells me that I should read it, and maybe there is a chance to salvage at the very least our friendship. My head snaps up when I hear the front door open and I shut my laptop trying to fan away the tears that have clouded my eyes.

" Brooke?" Mom's questioning voice calls out and I fix a smile to my lips when she walks into the kitchen, her arms weighed down by bags.

" Hey Mama," I say, getting up to take the bags from her arms.

" How was your day today sweetheart?" she asks, and we fall into content chatter as groceries are put away.

" I uhm, I went to Wrightsville Beach today," I say, and I watch as Mom's slim hands jerk and freeze.

" Why?" she asks, and I shrug my shoulders as I hop up onto the kitchen counter.

" I don't know. I started walking and that's where I ended up. I think, a small part of me wanted to know that if I went there I would be okay. That it wouldn't be so bad," I murmur shaking my head, " Anyways, I ran into Daddy while I was there. Well, its more like Shelly down at the market told Daddy I was back in town, and he wants me to come over tonight, have dinner, talk."

" Well, that's nice dear. I know that there are a lot of things that you and your Father have to work through," she says turning away to stare out of the window. I slip off the counter and hug her, resting my head on her shoulder drawing in the comforting scent of lilac and lavender. Of home.

" Mama, I don't have to go," I murmur and I watch as she turns, her hands cupping my face as she smiles despite the tears that have her hazel eyes swimming.

" You do. It's been long enough," she says, " Every girl needs their Daddy." I smile slightly even as my heart winces at her statement. I walk from the kitchen making my way back up the stairs wondering if I will ever be able to forgive my father for abandoning me when I needed him the most.

* * *

I close my car door jumping as the sound echoes down the street. It's a quiet night in Wilmington, as I make my way up the sidewalk towards the door of my father's house. The butterflies war inside of my stomach as I lift my hand knocking lightly. I step back waiting for an answer. The door slides open my dad bathed in soft light from the house, a dish towel tossed carelessly over his broad shoulder.

" You look beautiful Brooke," Dad says, nervously wiping his hands on his jeans before hugging me lightly pulling me into the house.

" Thanks," I murmur as I look around. For him living here for six months its not much of a home. A lonely couch sits in the living room along with a small television.

" It's just going to be a couple more minutes," he says, walking past me into the kitchen, and I follow slowly behind him looking around curiously. I find much to my surprise, pictures of me hanging on the walls. A candid snapshot of Mom and me at the beach, pictures from countless cheerleading competitions, my senior picture. I rub at my chest, a twinge of pain shooting through me.

" So how was Los Angeles? And Olivia," he calls out from the kitchen, and I smile stiffly turning to close the distance.

" L.A was, different, to say the very least. As for Olivia," I murmur laughing slightly, " Well, she's Livy you know? She got into a prestigious fashion program in Paris, will be there for another ten months. All in all, she is doing great."

" Well that's good to hear. You know, after she left home her folks moved on down to Florida, we lost contact along the way," he rambles on as he lifts the lid of a steaming pot, and despite my discomfort my stomach growls from the scent that fills the room.

" Seems like you lost contact with a few people," I murmur, wincing when he clears his throat.

" Its a two way road Brooke Elisabeth," he says gruffly, " Supper's ready," I nod my head sitting at the small dining room table wondering if I am the only person in the world that feels this awkward eating with their Dad. My mind cant help but wander to one person, who would undeniably feel just as awkward as I do about sitting down to eat a meal with their Dad. Michael. I shake my head trying to clear him from my memory.

* * *

Twenty minutes later silence still surrounds us as we eat and I wonder why I even bothered coming. I suppose somewhere inside of me I was hoping that he actually wanted to repair our damaged relationship. As if he can read my mind he clears his throat looking at me from across the table.

" So what were you doing out in the big city?" Dad asks, picking up his glass of sweet tea and at the thought of what I was doing for the last three months, and who I was spending all of my time with my appetite flies out of the window.

" I was waitressing for a time, and going to school," I murmur, spinning my glass between my hands, " After that I was actually working on music."

" Music? Really?" he asks, the tone of his voice changing completely. After all it was him who taught me how to play guitar in the first place. I nod my head slowly.

" Yes. I was actually working with someone pretty famous," I say, cringing at the fact that I couldn't just keep my mouth shut.

" Who?" he asks his eyes glinting with anticipation.

" You probably wouldn't know who it is," I state, rolling my eyes when he smiles at me silently telling me to just tell him, " Michael Jackson."

" Well I'll be," he says laughing as he smacks the table, " He was part of the boy band that Olivia was so in love with." I stare at him, my mouth dropping over him at his sense of memory.

" You remember that?" I ask, shaking my head cautiously.

" Of course I do. You would sit up all night listening to that girl talk about that band," he says chuckling slightly, " You would always look so tired after one of your all-nighters . But you never complained. Never once did you tell her to shut up. You just listened." I watch as his face changes, emotions surging to the surface as he fights valiantly to stifle them.

" I'm her best friend, that's what I'm there for," I say, growing uncomfortable by the sudden seriousness that falls around us, " Why were you so angry with me?"

" Angry with you? I was never angry with you Brooke," he says the look of shock on his face telling me that either he truly believes in his heart that he was never angry, or he chose to block out those few horrible months that we went through.

" This is pointless, I'm going to go," I murmur pushing up from the table.

" Wait Brooke, listen," he calls to me and I sigh stopping to turn before I make it to the door way.

" Why? Are you honestly going to try and tell me that you don't remember anything that happened in those first months, because I do. I went through hell, and I went through it alone. Mama couldn't stop crying, and you, you couldn't even look at me," I say my heart pounding against my chest as the tears that I have kept locked away for so long come alive in my eyes only to roll down my cheeks and die on my lips.

" Brooke, I was never, ever angry with you. I was scared to death. You have no idea what it was like. When Olivia came home, and you weren't with her. We panicked. We knew you. Sure you were young, but you were always responsible. When we went looking for you there was no trace of you, nothing. The first day was so damn hard. I hated myself Brooke. You're my daughter. My only child and when I think of how close I was to losing you I do get angry, but not at you, never at you," he says, standing up from his seat, his hands balled into tight fists next to him. " Then you came home. When they found you I dropped to my knee's and wept, thanking God that my little girl had been found, alive. I couldn't help but think of what the detectives were telling us. After the first twenty-four hours the likelihood of finding an abduction victim alive are cut in half. When I saw you though, I knew that you weren't the same daughter I had seen two days before. Not just because of the bruises or the blood. I could see it in your eyes. My Brooke died, and in her place was this shell of someone who's personality was so bright it was almost blinding. Did I handle it badly? Yes. I should have never tried to force you out of your depression. I should have been more understanding, had more compassion. But you have to understand how hard it was for me, and your mother. To listen to you scream out in the middle of the night, and know that we couldn't comfort you. To hear the shower snapping on and off at least four times a night, knowing that you were in there scrubbing your body raw. I felt helpless. Like I had failed you somehow. I'm your Dad, I'm supposed to protect you, and I didn't, and I hate myself for it." I stare at my father, his tall frame tense, while his strong shoulders shake from his pain and tears. All this time, I thought that somehow he blamed me for what happened, when it was the other way around. All this time he blamed himself.

" Daddy," I murmur, following my aching heart as I throw myself into his arms crying as he cradles me against him as he sinks to the floor.

I cant tell you how long I sat in my fathers lap, my arms clinging to his neck as I cried with him, listening to him apologize over and over, just as I cant tell you how I ended up on the deck wrapped in a blanket with a mug of tea pressed into my hands. I listen as the ocean crashed around me feeling completely drained from the wave of emotions that I just rode.

" How are you doing?" Dad asks lowering himself into the chair next to mine his blue eyes rimmed with red, evidence of the emotional rollercoaster that we both rode on and survived.

" I'm okay. Daddy, you cant blame yourself, for that night, or what happened afterwards," I murmur watching his jaw clench tightly.

" Neither can you," he murmurs, and I drop my eyes to my lap realizing that even though our relationship has been damaged and their's a lot of rebuilding that has to be done, he can still read me like a book, and is an expert at getting to the bottom of what's really going on behind my carefully placed facade.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I walk around the studio, my thoughts unsettled. Brooke's been gone for seventy-two hours, and every second has seemed like an eternity. If I just knew where she was, maybe it would be easier to let it go. But I don't know. She wont talk to me, neither will Olivia. And it's all my fault. How could I have been so stupid. To kiss Tatiana after Brooke confessed her feelings for me, was willing to put her damaged heart and soul on the line for me. I drop down onto the couch my head in my hands as I try to think over what exactly was going on in my mind at that moment. Tatiana has always been an amazing dancer, so naturally I thought I could find a place for her in my album, somehow. A few dance steps later and we're kissing. I groan laying my head back. This cant be happening. I just want Brooke to come home. This is where she belongs. Without her here I feel empty. Alone. A soft knock on the door has me lifting my head, and I blush when I see that it's Tatiana a sheepish smile on her face.

" Hey," Tatiana says walking quickly and easily across the room to sit next to me.

" Hey," I murmur resuming my position of staring at the ceiling.

" I take it by the sad look on your face that Brooke hasn't come back," she says and I close my eyes, the mention of her name causing my heart to skip an aching beat, " I'm sorry Mike. I don't know how it even happened. I mean don't get me wrong, I had a small crush on you at one point, but in all honestly kissing you was like kissing my brother." My eyes flash open on her confession as I sit up to look at her.

" Are you serious?" I ask, watching as a nervous grin spreads on her face while she nods her head, " Thank God. It was like kissing my sister." I throw my arms around her smiling. Knowing now that Tatiana doesn't have feelings for me, frees me completely to find Brooke and beg her to come home.

" You have got to be kidding me," a stern and angry voice calls from the door way and I turn slowly, my heart sinking when I notice Olivia standing with her duffel bag flung over her shoulder her blonde hair a mess.

" Oh crap," Tatiana mutters pulling away from me so that I can chase after her.

* * *

" Olivia, it isn't what you think," I call through the door, sitting outside of the room that Brooke used to occupy. I scramble to my feet when the door swings open and Olivia stands staring me down with incredulous eyes.

" You want to know what I think? I think it was a complete waste of what little money I had left to fly out here to help you fix the mess that you made. What did I tell you would happen if you hurt her? And stupidly I believed those pitiful text messages and voicemails that you left me begging me to help you, telling me that there was nothing going on between you and that woman," Olivia says, her voice deadly calm as she continues to stare at me.

" Olivia, nothing is going on between us, we both came to the realization that the small crushes we may have had for each other have long since passed. I was hugging her because I'm thankful that I am free to try and make things up to Brooke, without feeling even the slightest bit guilty," I state, running my hands over my hair, " I am in love with Brooke, Liv. Deeply and terrifyingly in love with her. How could I give her all of me if there was even the smallest of chance that I had hidden feelings for someone else? I couldn't and that wouldn't be fair to Brooke. She deserves better than that. I want to give her better than that."

" Damn you Michael," she says at length, her eyes misting over even though there is no heat to her voice, I realize that she believes me. " If I help you, I swear to God, you hurt her again, nobody will ever find your body." I sigh even as I softly smile and look at her with pleading eyes.

" I understand that. Please, just help me get her back," I beg, walking into the bedroom with her when she motions for me to come in. If anyone can help me, it's Olivia. Thank God for that.

* * *

_Brooke's POV _

I let myself into the house, closing the door lightly behind me carefully flipping the dead bolt. I turn finding the light on the kitchen on, glowing lightly against the yellow paint.

" Mama?" I call out smiling when her voice floats through the air.

" In here," Mom says, and I drop my purse and keys on a small side table before walking slowly to join her.

" Hi Mama," I murmur, hugging her lightly before taking a seat next to her.

" How was supper?" she asks, looking up from the dough that her hands are busy at kneading.

" It was good," I say, rolling up my sleeves as I walk towards the sink to wash my hands, " We had a really long talk. I think we're on our way to making things okay again."

" I'm so glad to hear that sweetheart," she says, nudging the other bowl of dough towards me. I start kneading content as the silence falls over us, my mind wandering off, " Mama, did you know that Daddy blamed himself for what happened to me?"

" Yes," she says, and I look up at her my eyes misting over again, " He was so angry with himself. Angry that he couldn't rescue you. That something like that could happen to his little girl. I tried telling him that it wasn't his fault. Which was hypocritical of me, because I blamed myself as much as he blamed himself. When you left home, we just stopped talking. He was mad, believe you me, mad that you just took off the way you did. But I told him, you were our little bird and you had to test your wings, and all we could do is stay behind and keep the nest warm, in case you fell."

" Do you still love him Mama?" I ask, and before she even says anything, her eyes tell me all I need to know. She still loved him very much.

" Yes I do, but I don't know if the damage that's been done can ever be fixed," she says and I chuckle lowly as my fingers work on my bowl.

" That's what I thought too, but miracles happen," I say, smiling when she laughs. " Speaking of love, is there any special someone back in L.A?" she asks, and my stomach drops as Michael's face flashes around in my head.

" Well, actually," I fight the urge to let out a steady stream of curses when the phone rings. Mom pushes away from the table wiping her dirty hands on her apron.

" Hold that thought," she says picking up the phone, " Hello. Why yes she is, may I ask who's speaking. Oh okay, just hold on one second." I watch as she holds her hand over the receiver holding it out to me. "It's for you." I blink at her, confusion falling over me. Who would be calling me here? I smile slowly realizing that it has to be Olivia, she's the only one who knows where I am. I take the phone from her hands and smile as I start talking.

" Hello."

" Brooke, please don't hang up," Michael's voice pleads with me causing my fragile heart to freeze mid-beat.


	22. Chapter 22: Whirlwind

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 22: Whirlwind **

" _**You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mine's different. My God, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens."-Unknown**_

* * *

I blink rapidly. Once, twice, three times, before I seem to come back to reality. I hold the phone tightly in my hand as I try and think of what to do, what to say.

" Brooke, Brooke are you there?" Michael's anxiety filled voice asks and I shake my head trying to come around and remember how to speak.

" Mi-Michael, how did you get this number?" I ask, my voice shaky as I grip the counter top. Tonight was enough of an emotional rollercoaster without having to face the Michael issue head on.

" Olivia. She's here, in L.A," he says, his voice quiet. Even with the low murmur of his voice I can sense the underlying sadness.

" What do you mean she's in L.A?" I ask feeling a slight stab of betrayal. She's my best friend, if she is going to empty out what little money she had left I would think it would be to come and see me, not Michael.

" She came to help me," he answers and my head spins at the thought.

" Help you? Help you with what?" I ask trying my hardest not to raise my voice, all too aware of the fact that Mom sits watching me silently.

" Help me get you back. Brooke, I made a huge mistake, and I want to make it right. Damn it Brooke, I want you to come home," he confesses his voice ripe with emotion.

" I am home. Michael, I cant do this, I wont do this," I state, " I trusted you, and you proved to me you weren't worth that. I'm done with L.A and you. Good bye Michael, say hi to Tatiana for me wont you?" I hang the phone up on him the sound of his voice rushing out though I cant hear the words. I stand my back turned to my Mom, my shoulders tense even as I start to shake. I curse the tears that roll down my face. Here I was thinking all of my tears where spent, how wrong could I be?

" Sweet heart," Mom says, the feel of her hand resting on my shoulder as she turns me around to look at her.

" I love him Mama but it hurts too much," I cry burying my face into her shoulder letting her hold me, her hand stroking my hair.

" Oh honey," she murmurs as my body shutters and shakes from my pain.

* * *

I sit on my bed watching the sun creep up behind the tree's. A sleepless night full of memories. Everytime I closed my eyes Michael's face is all that I could see. His beautiful chocolate eyes shining with laughter, remembering the nights spent in the studio singing, the countless times we collapsed with exhaustion on the leather couch falling asleep together. All of them, haunting me. Was I being unreasonable? Why cant I just forgive and forget what happened? Move on. With Michael. A soft knock on my door pulls me from my thought and I turn my head in time to see Mom poking her head through my door a soft smile on her lips.

" Brooke, you have a phone call," Mom says, and I shake my head.

" I'm not here," I murmur, " Just tell whoever it is that I'm not here."

" It's Sylvia Rhone," she murmurs and my eyes widen as I slide off my bed. Sylvia Rhone is the president of Universal Music Group's Motown Records. The same music label that Michael works on. Why would she be calling me? Was this some sort of legal thing, are they afraid that I am going to try and sell the music that Michael was working so hard on. I take the phone and swallow harshly before speaking.

" Hello," I murmur, butterflies chaotically circling in my stomach.

" Brooke, this Sylvia Rhone with Universal Motown," Sylvia says, her voice polite as I pace around the room, " I heard through the grape vine that you were no longer working with Michael."

" That's right. I want to assure you, just because things didn't," I pause trying to find the words to say, " work out with Michael, I would never dream of plagiarizing his work. He has been working so hard on his album and I could never take that from him." Despite the fact he thoroughly shattered my heart. I wait silently for her to say something, anything. Instead of any words I am met with rich laughter.

" I know you wouldn't do that. Your legally silenced. That isn't why I called. I got an interesting c.d from Caleb Wilkinson, the tech that's been helping on Michael's album," she says, and confusion blooms freshly over my brain.

" I'm not sure I understand," I murmur, continuing to pace up and down the hall.

" He sent over a c.d of your music. I'm quiet impressed Brooke, so much so that I want you on the next flight to L.A. I am fully prepared to present you to the board," she says, and my heart stops in my chest as her words sink in.

" I, are you, wow," I stammer, my fingers shaking violently.

" I am going to pass you off to my assistant and get your information, we'll call you again shortly with your flight information. I look forward to meeting you Brooke," she says, and before I can utter a thank you the phone clicks over and her assistant is asking for my information. I ramble everything to her and hang up the phone, staring in shock at what just happened.

" Well, what was that about?" Mom asks, and I shake my head trying to clear it.

" That was the president of Universal Motown. She heard my music and wants a meeting with me," I murmur, my voice barely a whisper.

" Oh sweetheart!" she exclaims gathering me into her arms hugging me tightly. I hug her fiercely, still somewhat in shock that this could be happening.

* * *

I stare out of the window of Universal Motown recording studio drinking slowly from my water bottle. November is upon Los Angeles, and I still cant wrap my head around the fact that it's been three months. Three short months since my entire world changed. I never would have dreamed in a million years that when I walked off of the plane on that blistering August day that I would be walking head first into my dreams. I should be ecstatic. Yet something feels like it's missing.

" Brooke, are you ready to run through it again?" Caleb asks, and I smile as I turn towards him nodding my head.

" I suppose," I murmur setting my water bottle down as I walk into the booth. I slide the headphones on and listen as Caleb starts playback, but for some reason my heart just isn't in it, not today. I shake my head slowly pulling the headphones from my head settling them on the music stand in front of me, " I'm sorry, I just, I cant do this, not today." I walk out of the sound booth knowing that everyone's eyes are on me, and for once I just dont care.

* * *

" Brooke," someone calls my name and I turn around seeing Caleb standing against the wall outside of the studio, his breath puffing out in white clouds evidence of the cold air.

" Caleb, what are you doing out here? It's freezing," I say shivering slightly as I slide my hands into the pockets of my long jacket.

" I was waiting for you. I know you kind of had a rough day today, wanted to see if you were up for a bite to eat, my treat," he says bouncing from foot to foot, his actions stirring something inside of me. A small sense of familiarity. My knee jerk reaction is to pass on the offer and go back to the apartment that Universal Motown has me set up in call Olivia and eat ice cream while I drown in my sorrows.

" Sure, why not," I murmur hesitating slightly when he holds a hand out to me. I blush deeply when he laughs shaking his head as I stand staring at him.

" I'm not going to bite you know," he states and I smile slowly nodding my head. I take his hand, rather surprised at how well our hands fit together, again pushing back the sense of familiarity that courses through me. We walk slowly next to each other, the sound of our footsteps echoing down the sidewalk.

" It's freezing," I murmur my teeth chattering as we step into a small twenty four hour diner. If it can even be called that, its more a hole in the wall, with a rather dismal looking neon sign that reads _'Betty's Diner.'_ Caleb motions to the waitress that there's only two of us and I offer the ragged looking woman a sympathetic smile when I slide into the booth she led us to. It wasn't that long ago I was in her shoes, literally. Sure I worked somewhere fancier, but its all the same. Long hours, short breaks, rude customers.

" Can I get you guys something to drink?" the woman asks one hand on her hip as she leans lazily against the corner of our booth.

" A Pepsi please," I murmur looking towards Caleb, waiting for him to give the woman his order.

" Same here," he says, everything falling silent as she walks away to get our drinks.

" You know, in the five months that I've known you, I haven't really gotten to know you," I say murmuring a thank you to our server when she sets down our glasses in front of us.

" Are you two ready or do you need a few minutes?" she asks, and I quickly rattle off my order and wait in content silence when Caleb does the same.

" What were you saying?" Caleb asks when we are alone again and I smile as I sip from my Pepsi.

" I was saying that I don't really know a whole lot about you," I offer and he chuckles slowly.

" Well, what is there to know? I'm nineteen, was born back east, but my Mom and I moved to L.A when I was five. I graduated early and got lucky enough to land an internship at Motown, which in turn led me to working with Michael, which in turn led to me working with you," he says, and I laugh as I shake my head.

" Well that was clear and precise," I murmur sarcastically, " You say you were born back east. Where exactly?" I ask sitting back against the booth, pulling my legs underneath me.

" North Carolina," he says, and I stare at him for a moment, shocked.

" North Carolina? Really? Where about?" I ask my fingers dropping into my lap nervously tapping against my leg.

" Raleigh. My Mom is from Wilmington though," he states, and I shake my head slowly.

" It's a small world," I murmur my stomach suddenly and inexplicably pitching when the waitress sets my food in front of me.

" What was that?" Caleb asks as he bites into the hamburger he ordered.

" Nothing," I state pushing my salad around on my plate wondering just what it was about Caleb Wilkinson that made me so damn uncomfortable and yet comforted at the same time?

* * *

Four hundred and fifty six. That's the number of sheep that I got to when my alarm went off indicating that it was time for my day to start. I groan as I turn to stare at the glowing numbers, realizing that it's only four in the morning. No one should be awake at four in the morning. I drag myself from my bed making my way into my kitchen pressing the button on my coffee maker to _'on' _and smile when I hear it kick on. Out of the corner of my eye I see the light flashing on my phone, indicating that I have new messages. I press the button before hopping up to sit on the counter.

' _Brookey, just wanted to call and see how you were doing. I know your probably nervous as hell. But you shouldn't be. I mean sure its your first real performance, but you'll do great. Just imagine everyone in the studio naked. Love you girl, forever. By the way, he says he misses you. Don't you think you should bury this thing all ready? Anyways, break a leg! Ciao.' _

' _Hey sweetheart its Mama. I just wanted to call and wish you luck. I'll be watching you on t.v. Good luck sweetie, I'm so proud of you. Your eating right? I don't want my daughter getting on stage looking like she hasn't eaten in a month. Okay I'll stop nagging. I love you, bye.'_

' _Brooke? Stupid machines, I hate leaving voicemails. This is your father. Just wanted to call and say I love you and good luck. Answer your phone when I call, you know I hate these stupid answering machines. Love you, bye.' _

' _Brooke, hey it's Caleb. I had a great time last night, but I really need to talk to you. I should have told you this sooner, and I don't intend telling you any of this over a message, so just call me back okay. Its important. Bye. Oh and good luck today. I know your going to be great. Bye.'_

I have to wonder about Caleb. What could be so important that it cant wait until I see him at the studio on Monday? _'Oh well, its just going to have to wait,' _I think to myself as I make my way into my bathroom.

* * *

I pace the small dressing room I have been shoved into, my heart racing against my ribs. What am I doing? Am I insane? I cant perform. Not yet. I'm not ready for this. I jump when the door slides open revealing Margot, my manager smiling at me, her white teeth shining under the dim lights.

" Brooke, you ready?" Margot asks looking at her watch.

" Yeah, no, I don't know," I stammer as she leads me from the room.

" Nervous honey?" she asks and I cant seem to find the words to answer her so I just bob my head up and down probably resembling a bobble head at the moment, " It's all right. If you weren't nervous I'd be worried about you. Your going to do great honey. Remember, it's just one song that's it."

" Yeah. One song, on national television. What was Sylvia thinking anyways, having me on KTLA. I haven't even fine tuned this song. Is it too late to cancel?" I ask, my stomach clenching as we step into the studio.

" Yes. Now Brooke, jus breathe. You'll do great," she says passing me off to a sound man who starts hooking me up to my microphone pack. I stand shaking as he runs the wires over my body as I try to steady myself by just clearing my head, completely emptying it of anything and everything as I close my eyes.

' _Just breathe Brooke, you can do this. I love you,' _Michael's voice echoes through my head and my eyes flash open on the signal for me to sit at the piano and sing my heart and soul out to the world.

* * *

I walk slowly up the stairs to my apartment when my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. I slowly pull it out seeing that it's Mom on the line. I sigh seriously contemplating just ignoring it. I'm beyond exhaustion. I groan with frustration as I answer the call as I fumble to find my house keys.

" Hey Mama," I murmur, listening intently. Her voice is smothered by tears and I stop dead in my tracks fear coursing through me, " Mama, what's the matter?"

" Brooke, I have to te-tell you something," Mom stammers to me and I look up at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Caleb stands in front of my apartment door his hands shoved deep into the pocket of his jeans.

" Mama, I'm going to have to call you right back," I murmur slowly lowering the phone down to my side hitting the end button, " What are you doing here?"

" I need to talk to you Brooke," Caleb says his voice a mix of anxiety and frustration, " You never called me back."

" I was a little pre-occupied this morning," I say sliding past him so that I can slide my key into the lock, " Listen Caleb, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that something was or is going to happen between us, but.." I trail off when he interrupts me.

" It has to do with why your Mama was crying," he says, and I turn slowly to look at him. Something in his eyes telling me that whatever he is about to say is going to rock the very foundation of my existence.


	23. Chapter 23: Family Reunion

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 23: Family Reunion **

_" I had to fight all my life to survive. They were all against me…but I beat the bastards and left then in the ditch."-Ty Cobb_

* * *

I watch as Caleb paces the living room of my apartment, running his hands through his dark brown hair, the look of anxiety and stress on his face breaking my heart as well as arousing my curiosity.

" How did you know that my Mama was crying?" I ask my voice barely coming out a whisper.

" I'm the one who made her cry," Caleb says his voice strained from the heavy guilt that his voice carries. I can feel my blood start to hum in my veins as anger starts boiling inside of me.

" What do you mean you're the one who made her cry? How do you even know how to get a hold of my Mother?" I ask my hands clutching the cushion of my couch.

" I got the number out of your phone one day when we were working in the studio, listen that isn't the point here," he says throwing his hands up in frustration, " The point is there is something that you should know."

" What?" I ask my head reeling over the fact that he just confessed to getting into my phone behind my back.

" I'm your brother," he blurts out his dark eyes searching my face for some sort of reaction.

" What are you talking about? I don't have a brother. I'm an only child," I stammer my words sounding mumbled as I fight to speak.

" You're the only child of your mother's yes, but not Dad's," he says, and my eyes widen as I realize quickly that this isn't some sort of practical joke gone seriously wrong.

" Excuse me?" I ask watching cautiously as he sits in front of me settling himself on the corner of my table his elbows braced on his knee's as he holds his hands tightly in front of him.

" Your," he pauses clenching his jaw tightly, " Our father and my mother, had a thing," he says and I shake my head trying to clear the sudden fog that rolls in.

" That's impossible. I was born in February, your birthday is in May, that would mean that my Dad fooled around on my Mom," I murmur refusing to meet his eyes as I try and work all of this out in my head.

" He would go away on business a lot. To Raleigh. I was telling the truth when I said that my Mom was from Wilmington but she moved to Raleigh to go to school. She was moonlighting as a waitress to cover tuition. Well, Dad used to frequent her diner, and the way my Mom tells it, it started out innocent enough, but quickly turned serious. One night they took things to the next level, and that's when she got pregnant," he says and I shake my head feeling the tears that begin burning in my eyes.

" How long have you known?" I ask looking at him as the first hot tears slide down my face.

" I've known that I had a sister since well, for forever. My Mom didn't hide anything from me, I just didn't know who it was, Dad would never let us talk about you, he wouldn't even tell me your name, or show me a picture," he says the pain in his voice striking something deep inside of me, but I ignore it and steel myself against the warring emotions going on inside of me.

" How long have you known that I was your sister Caleb," I ask my voice forceful as I stare at him.

" I found out when you first started working for Michael," he confesses and I feel something inside of me snap as I shove off the couch to pace the living room.

" You mean to tell me that you have known for almost six months that I'm your sister, and your just know telling me? Why? Did you have to feel me out first. Decide that I was good enough to be let in on the dirty little secret? Am I the last one to know? Did your Mother not think of the affect that this would have on me, on my mother?" I scream my hands shaking as I watch Caleb turn to stand in front of me.

" She didn't know he was married. He didn't tell her he had a wife or a child on the way until she told him that she was pregnant with me," he says and I take a step back as he tries to reach out to hug me.

" As if that makes this all okay," I yell trying to swallow the panic that threatens to swallow me, " You need to leave. Now!"

" Brooke, please," he begs as I shove past him to throw open my front door.

" Just go Caleb," I say my voice calm as he walks past me and into the hall, his foot stopping the door before I can close it.

" I understand that your upset Brooke, but it doesn't change the truth. We're blood, sister," he says his eyes pleading with me to let him in.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I wipe the sweat from my face as I drink deeply from my bottle of water. Seems that the only time these days when things don't hurt as much is when I'm in the studio, dancing and singing all of my frustrations and pain away. It doesn't change anything though. I stare at the picture of Brooke I taped to the dance studio mirror, my heart aching. She never looked more beautiful, then she did that night. When she sat curled up in my library a book in hand, her dark hair falling in her face.

" You miss her don't you?" a soft voice asks from behind me and I look up to see Tatiana standing behind me, her eyes soft despite the worry that's in them.

" Every day," I murmur turning towards her as she smiles sympathetically at me. I sit next to her on the floor of the dance studio, our backs braced against the wall. I lean my hand back against the wall staring at the ceiling.

" Have you talked to her at all?" she asks, and I shake my head as I let out a shaky breath.

" Just that once, when she was back home in Wilmington. When she told me it was over," I murmur my heart aching sluggishly in my chest.

" She'll come around Michael, you just have to give her time," she offers and I nod my head.

" I know, but what if she doesn't Tatiana?" I ask squeezing my eyes shut against the wave of fear that rolls over my body.

" Well buddy, if she doesn't, then it just wasn't meant to be," she says her voice sounding sad as she places an arm around my shoulders.

" That's what I'm afraid of," I murmur closing my eyes again, Brooke's smiling face dancing through my memories.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I walk through the Charlotte airport my pink duffel beg slung over my shoulder as I look for a familiar face. That's when I see her. My mom. Her face pale and her eyes rimmed red, evidence of the emotional rollercoaster that we were both forced unwillingly to ride. I drop my bag as I rush into her arms fighting futilely against the tears that threaten to spill over.

" Mama," I cry into her shoulder.

" Hush now sweetie, lets get home," she says taking my hand in hers leading me through the crowded airport.

I look up when Mom holds out a mug to me a small smile on her lips.

" Thank you," I murmur taking in the scent of the chamomile and honey tea.

" How are you feeling sweet heart?" Mom asks sitting next to me and I shrug my shoulders.

" Honestly, I don't know. I'm still so confused and angry," I say sipping slowly from my mug, my body relaxing despite everything that has me so upset, " How are you doing?"

" About the same. Only I have to ask myself how I could have been so stupid. To not have seen the signs. At first he'd go away on business maybe once a month, and then it just increased. An extra few days here and there until he was staying for weeks at a time," she says her voice carrying a hint of bitterness in it, " All that time I thought he was working hard, for this family, never in a million years would I have thought that he had gone and made a new one." The tears of anger I see rolling down her cheeks has my heart aching all over again as I set my tea aside to gather her in a tight hug.

" What are you going to do Mama?" I ask, pulling away to search her eyes for an answer.

" I don't know," she murmurs using a tissue to dab at her eyes, " I just don't know." I curl up beside her, laying my head in her lap seeking comfort. I smile softly when she begins running her fingers through my hair, just like she used to when I was younger.

" Mama," I murmur turning my head to look at her.

" Yes darling," she says, her voice shaking slightly even as she looks at me.

" Everything's going to be different now, isn't it?" I ask, and her lack of an answer tells me everything that I need to know.

* * *

I sit in the living room, my head resting on my knee's as I watch the snow fall outside of the window. Funny isn't it, that when everything in the world seems to be going wrong the snow seems to make everything okay. So quiet, at least for a little while. It's the quietness that only adds to the loneliness that I'm feeling. How I wish that Mom stayed home from work, just for today. Everything is going wrong, and what's worse is I feel so alone. I check my phone for the millionth time, only to find that Olivia still hasn't returned any of my messages. I cant really be mad at her though, I know that her work load is getting heavier and heavier by the second, but I could really use my best friend at the moment. _' There is always Michael you know,_' the voice in my head reminds me and I close my eyes on a sigh. Of course there is. There will always be Michael, but how could I even begin to talk to him about the issues in my life now when we never really took care of the issues that tore us apart in the first place? I jump slightly when my phone vibrates in my hand and I answer it without looking at who it is that's calling.

" Hello," I murmur watching the fat flakes of snow falling outside almost hypnotized by the way that they float.

" You had better have a good excuse for not being in the studio Brooke," the short clipped voice of Margot causing my blood to thrum in my veins.

" Margot, I" I murmur my words cut off when she interrupts me.

" It doesn't matter, you need to come back ASAP you hear me? You need to be in the studio," she demands, " Sylvia and the board are moving up your album release date."

" Wait what, why?" I ask as the pressure builds in my chest.

" You don't check your artists myspace often do you? Need has all ready gotten a million hits, the demand for it is so great that I-tunes is ready to start selling it. The board wants you to tour with…" A knock on the door pulls my attention from what she is trying to say.

" Margot hold on," I say, walking to the door. I pull it open to find Caleb standing in front of me, snow melting in his hair as he sheepishly smiles at me, " I have to go, I'll call you back." I hang up the phone staring in disbelief at my brother. " That's the second time I've had to hang up on an important conversation because of you."

" Sorry," Caleb offers as he shrugs his shoulders. I stare at him, trying to find the words to say, " Are you going to invite me in? It's freezing out here."

" Right, of course, come in," I murmur, moving aside to let him in. I shut the door behind him and watch as he shrugs out of his jacket stray snowflakes falling to the floor, melting into small puddles.

" What are you doing here Caleb?" I ask, my back to the door as my heart pounds in my chest.

" Brooke, I need to talk to you, to make things right. I know that your confused, hurt, angry even, but you have to know, I have always wanted to know you. I didn't tell you at first because I knew you were fragile," he says, and I look at him skeptically, " Michael, he told us," his words trail off as I can feel the blood drain from my face.

" Michael told who what?" I ask between clenched teeth trying to keep hold on my anger.

" He just told us that you've been through a lot, and asked us not to touch you, until you were comfortable around us, or until you made the first move. At first I thought it was just his way of staking his claim you know," he says a ghost of a smile playing over his lips, " But then I saw you. The pain in your eyes, and I realized that it was more than Michael just trying to keep you to himself. He was trying to protect you, and from the first time I saw you I had that urge too. Only it wasn't in a romantic sense, it was something deeper and totally different from that. Mind if I sit down, before I finish saying what I have to say?"

" No, go ahead," I murmur eyeing his as he moves to the couch patting the cushion next to him. I sit down slowly wrapping my arms tightly around myself, " How did you find out we're brother and sister?"

" Before you moved in at the ranch, I overheard Michael giving Max your information, you know for security clearance, and I knew it wasn't coincidence that your last name is the same as my father's, and that you grew up in Wilmington," he says, and I smile almost wistfully, if only it were just a coincidence, as if I could be so lucky.

" I still, I just don't understand, why you didn't tell me," I whisper shaking my head lightly trying to clear my eyes.

" I don't know Brooke," he says pushing up from the couch to pace in front of the window, " I always wanted a sibling. I can remember asking my mom why she and dad wouldn't have another one, and she would always tell me that I have a sister somewhere in the world. One that I would have to love and protect. I told Dad one time when he came to see us, that I knew I had a sister and he got so angry. Told me that he didn't want me speaking of you, to drop the subject. He never yelled at me before. I never understood why he got so angry. The last time that I saw him, I was ten. He came to see us early, which was weird. I can remember how excited I was because I had this big baseball game coming up and he was going to be able to play ball with me, help me practice. Then him and my mom got into a huge fight. She was angry with him because he wasn't going to make it to my game. Said that his daughter had a cheer competition and he couldn't miss it. My mother never asked dad to choose between us and you and your mother, but this one time she begged him, pleaded with him to stay, and he refused. I never saw him again after that." I stare at him for a few minutes, my heart breaking in my chest at the look of loss and misery that crosses his face.

" You should hate me," I murmur as I brush the back of my hand over my face to wipe away a few tears that have started to fall.

" What are you talking about?" he asks turning to look at me.

" He chose me and my mom, you should hate us, so why don't you?" I ask trying hard not to completely lose and it and break down.

" That wasn't your fault. Brooke, I thought about you every day of my life. Wondering what it would be like to have a sister. If we would get along, have similar interests, if we looked alike. Now I know. I know that we look alike, have similar interests, now I'm just hoping that your going to give me the chance to see what it's like to have a sister," he says his dark eyes, so different from mine, and yet they hold the same hopes and fears as mine. I follow my instincts as I push up from the couch and walk to him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. In this one moment something shifts inside of me, as if something had been missing for so long without me knowing it. I cry into his chest feeling relieved that I know the truth, finally when the sound of the front door opens and I turn to see our Dad standing in the door way a look of guilt and fury crossing his face.


	24. Chapter 24: Time

**Author's Note: Here's the last chapter for tonight. More to come tomorrow I promise. As Always, Read, Enjoy, Review!**

**Chapter 24: Time**

_" Time goes on, whether we want it to or not,"-Anonymous._

* * *

I stand frozen in my spot as a million emotions race through out my body at once. My hand tightening instinctively on Caleb's arm offering, as well as taking support from him, as I try to shut off the white hot river of anger that flows through me.

" You have a lot of nerve showing up here like this," Dad slurs his voice deep and gruff as he walks slowly towards us, swaying as he goes, evidence that he's been drinking.

" Its nice to see you too Dad, what's it been, nine years, almost ten?" Caleb asks, his voice lazy almost patronizing, causing me to fight the urge to smile, realizing quickly that my brother can hold his own.

" Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to ruin my family? My life?" he asks his voice tight as he clutches the back of the couch. His words strike a chord deep inside of me.

" He's trying to ruin this family?" I ask, my voice deadly calm as I take a step towards him, " You ruined this family before it even began! All those years that you preached at me, about how family is all that is important, and you failed to mention that I had a brother. You ruined this family, not Caleb! You did this to us, to him. Why don't you man up and take responsibility for your wrong doings? None of this would have even happened if you would have just kept it in your pants!" I stand vibrating with anger when something happens that I never expected. His hand swings full force, my head snapping back when he slaps me, the coppery taste of blood filling my mouth. Pandemonium breaks loose as Caleb pushes me out of the way jumping over the couch and grabbing Dad around the waste, the sound of their bodies hitting the wood floor with a sickening thud making my stomach turn as fear courses through me.

" Stop it!" I scream, pleading with him as he rolls over on top of Caleb his hands wrapped tightly around his throat.

" Your mother should have gotten rid of you like I wanted her to," Dad hisses at Caleb, and I watch in frozen horror as my brothers face starts turning color as his hands flail in his attempt to get Dad off of him. My fury blinds me as I launch myself onto my Father's back beating him with clenched fists.

" Stop it Dad, your going to kill him, get off him," I scream resorting to grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling with all my might. Everything feels as if its moving in slow motion when he throws me off his back and I sail through the hair, reality suddenly coming back to me when my head cracks against the wall, my vision doubling. A new voice, a softer one, cuts through the chaos, screaming for him to get out, but I cant be too sure if the voice is real or the by-product of my head smacking the wall. Then everything is quiet, the only sound I hear is the beating and rushing of my pulse in my ears as I blink rapidly when Caleb crouches down in front of me, his breath wheezing out of him as he places his hands on my face trying to get me to focus on him.

" Brooke, Brooke are you okay?" he asks his voice sounding far away as I try and reassure him that I'm all right.

" Yeah, I'm fine, just a head ache," I murmur looking up as another voice calls out to me.

" Brooke, honey," my Mom says, joining Caleb in kneeling down to look at me.

" Mama?" I ask turning my head to look at her, a movement I shouldn't have made, my head swimming viciously.

" Caleb is it? Help me get her into bed," Mom says, and I close my eyes on the feeling of being lifted up, falling into a consuming darkness.

* * *

I wake quickly a strangled scream caught in my throat as the memory of Dad on top of Caleb, strangling him quickly fades away. I sit up slowly, moaning and cursing lightly when my head spins.

" Nice to see you awake," a sleepy voice says through the darkness and I look over seeing Caleb sitting in a chair next to my bed.

" How long have I been out?" I ask watching him as he gets up to sit on the corner of my bed.

" A few hours. Most likely a concussion," he murmurs, reaching a hand out to brush the hair out of my face, " At least, that's what your Mom said."

" How are you?" I ask my eyes scanning his face, noting the blooming bruises that have started forming on his throat.

" Had worse," he says with a light chuckle, " Who knew my sister was a scrapper?" Laughter bubbles out of me even as I feel hot tears roll down my face. " Hey, what's this about?" I shrug my shoulders, feeling slightly ashamed by my uncontrollable emotions.

" I don't know, God I feel so stupid," I mutter wiping my hands furiously at my eyes, " I just, I was terrified. I just got you, and I thought he was going to kill you."

" Well he didn't, thanks to you," he says hugging me close.

" Yeah right," I murmur letting myself find comfort through him.

" One hell of a family reunion huh?" he asks and I pull away to look at him before smiling wildly before giving way to uncontrollable laughter.

* * *

" You know, in the last three months I have been on a plane more than I have been in my entire life?" I murmur to Caleb as we settle into our seats on the plane.

" Really?" Caleb asks looking over at me as I look through my phone.

" Mhm," I answer as I scroll through my emails before having to turn my phone off for the flight back to Los Angeles. I open one marked urgent and my stomach clutches when I realize that I never called Margot back. I would have to do something for her, maybe flowers. I shake my head turning my attention back to the email.

' _Brooke Elisabeth, _

_You had better have a good, no a SPECTACULAR excuse on why you never called me back.' _

I press a hand nonchalantly to my swollen lip and smile slightly. _'Well if getting attacked by my father isn't a good excuse I don't know what is,'_ I think to myself quickly before turning my attention back to the e-mail.

' _What I was trying to explain to you on the phone was that Need has exploded darling. It's a huge hit. So huge in fact that Sylvia and the board want your album release date moved up. It will come out just a few days before MJ's album. Which brings me to the next point. They want you to tour. With MJ. No arguments, its going to happen. Call me as soon as you come back to L.A. _

_Ciao, _

_M.' _

" No, no. I wont do it, they cant make me," I whisper my eyes flashing up when Caleb brushes a hand to my shoulder.

" Brooke, what's wrong?" he asks as I look at him with swimming eyes.

" Margot emailed me, apparently Need has blown up, bigger than any of us anticipated," I say feeling as if there isn't enough air in the world for me to breathe.

" Brooke, that's a good thing," he says looking completely perplexed by my reaction.

" They want me to tour," I hiss, " With Michael."

" Oh," he says realization blooming on his face as the gravity of the situation hits us both.

* * *

I rush up the stairs leading to Sylvia's office my heart hammering in my chest. There has to be a way for me to get out of this tour deal. It wasn't in my contract, was it? I steady myself, breathing deeply before lifting my hand to knock on the office door.

" Come in," Sylvia's crisp voice calls out as I push open the door.

" Brooke, what a nice surprise. I have to tell you I was a bit worried when you pulled that disappearing act a few days ago, but Margot assured me you'd be back. A family situation is what she said," Sylvia says her eyes zeroing in on my swollen lip, " Oh dear, what happened to you?" I self-consciously lift a hand to my mouth before shrugging.

" It's no big deal. I need to talk to you, about this whole touring thing," I say sitting down in the chair across from the desk.

" Fabulous isn't it? It's going to be something that has never been done before. Two stars on the same tour, both individual dreams coming together to explode on stage," she says her eyes growing dreamy at the thought.

" That's just it, I cant tour, not with Michael," I say flinching slightly when her eyes go dark and he clears her throat.

" Why pray tell, is that?" she asks as she tents her fingers in front of her.

" I just cant. Three months ago when you first brought me here, I said things didn't work out with Michael and me. I was telling you the truth, but it didn't work out on just a musical level, it didn't work out on a personal level," I explain breathlessly as I push down the emotions that surge to the surface.

" I see, and I understand, believe me I do Brooke. Love in Hollywood is damn near impossible, but this isn't about love dear. I could care less if you talk to the man but you will tour with him. Its in your contract. You owe us a tour and this is the tour we want you on," she says sympathetically as I close my eyes on a sigh. For a short second I wonder how bad things would be if I refused. They could, and most definitely would take me to court, and I wonder how well a _'broken heart' _defense would stand up in front of the judge.

" I understand," I murmur as I push up from my chair. I make it half way across the room when Sylvia speaks up.

" Brooke," she says, and I turn to look at her, " I've known Michael most of his professional life and I have never known him to purposely hurt someone. You should really give him another chance." I nod my head politely as I turn to the door. The hell if I will.

I lay in the bathtub, hot water and bubbles covering my body as I watch candle light flicker, their shadows dancing along the walls. My body lays relaxed while my mind wanders. My life has changed a lot over the last five and a half, almost six months. I lost a job, gained a job, fell in love, had my heart broken, went back to the one place I swore I would never go back too, got a record deal, found out I had a brother, and what's worse, now I have to tour with the one who broke my heart. It's a miracle I am still functioning. Surely this amount of stress and emotional upheaval isn't good for one person to bear. I close my eyes as I sink into the heated water. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. My eyes flash open when I remember what tomorrow is. Motown's Anniversary program. Tomorrow I will be seeing Michael for the first time in months. I really am in hell.


	25. Chapter 25: A Part Of History

**Author's Note: Okay, so I'm uploading chapter's early today because tonight my son and I will be spending the night at a friend of mine. The heat is ridiculous in the Pacific Northwest right now, and we live on the second floor apartment where the heat is just unbareable, believe me it is. Yesterday it hit 94 in our bathroom, bleh. Anyways, so I wanted to get a few more chapters posted up today for all of you guys. Once again the song used in this chapter is Need by Hanna Pestle. No copyright infringement intended. I hope you all enjoy it. Read/Enjoy/Review! **

**Chapter 25: A Part Of History**

_" We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us,"-David Seamands._

* * *

I'm three hours away from the most important performance of my life, okay perhaps that sounds a little dramatic, it's the most important performance up until this moment. Nevertheless, the butterflies are alive and warring in my stomach as Javier, the make up artist Margot hired for me, playfully smacks my shoulder for the millionth time.

" Honey, you need to calm down," Javier says as he expertly spreads foundation on my face. I take a deep breath, though it doesn't really help and close my eyes.

" Sorry," I murmur smiling lightly when Caleb hands me a bottle of water before squeezing my shoulder offering me a toothy grin, " Thanks."

" Hey anything for my _'date,_'" Caleb teases fluidly taking my mind off my frayed nerves by making me giggle at his words.

" Ugh, don't make it sound like that," I laugh closing my eyes as Javier brushes powder over my face, a small chuckle coming from him.

" What? I cant help it, I'm flattered that of the thousands of men who would line up at your door to be your escort to this shindig, Michael being the first of them, you chose me," he says leaning his hip against the vanity table, one hand buried in the pocket of his slacks.

" Yeah okay, believe me there wouldn't be thousands of men lined up to go out with me, and Michael definitely wouldn't be at the front of that imaginary line of yours," I say cursing the fact that my heart beats rapidly in response to the mere mention of Michael's name.

" Brooke, you know, in the short time I have known you I have discovered your one of the dumbest smart girls I've ever known," he says suddenly which causes me to choke on my water my eyes watering when my sudden movement causes Javier to poke me in the eyes with the eyeliner pencil.

" Ouch," I laugh out breathlessly.

" Damn it Caleb," Javier and I say in unison which only leads to more laughter, this time my brother and make up artist joining in.

* * *

I stand outside of my dressing room a hand pressed tightly against my stomach as I pace back and forth trying to steady myself. It doesn't help any, not when I know that I will be hitting the red carpet in just a little under twenty minutes, which brings me only that much closer to my turn onstage. I close my eyes as I lean against the door, my skin prickling when the cold metal of the door brushes against me. Everything would be okay if Olivia was here, everything would be even more than okay if Michael was here. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised that I haven't run into him, even though we are in such close proximity of one another. Margot has been good at keeping me busy. I suppose I cant blame her. Seeing Michael would only send my emotions into overdrive, spiraling out of control. I close my eyes again. If I could just see him, just once, I could look into his eyes and know that I would be okay, that I would be all right. That even if I went up on that stage and made a total and complete ass out of myself as long as Michael was there it wouldn't matter.

" Brooke," a familiar voice murmurs to me quietly and I open my eyes slowly turning my head to find Michael a few steps away from me, the sight of him making my heart slam roughly against my ribs. His hair's different a little shorter, shinier, and yet he's the same. The same Michael that I spent so much time with, laughed and cried with, fell in love with. Lights shine off his shirt and jacket as he slides on hand into the pocket of his pants.

" Michael," I whisper taking a slow step towards him hesitating slightly. My eyes start swimming when he comes closer standing in front of me, a hand extending towards me cupping my face.

" I've missed you," he whispers pulling me into him, his warm hands pressing against my skin.

" I've missed you too," I say realizing the truth in that statement. I have missed him, missed this. Missed the way that his mere presence seems to make every worry just disappear.

" Brooke, oh sorry," Margot says as she steps out of the dressing room and I smile slowly pulling away from Michael shaking my head.

" No it's okay, Margot this is Michael, Michael this Margot, my manager," I say watching as they shake hands.

" I'm sorry to interrupt but Brooke we really must go, the red carpet is waiting for you," Margot says and I nod my head as I turn to look at Michael.

" Sorry, I have to go. I really want to talk to you though, are you busy after the show?" I ask taking my handbag from Margot my eyes never leaving his face.

" I'll come find you," he says stepping forward to brush a blush inducing kiss to my cheek.

" Okay, see you then," I murmur allowing myself to look back at where he's left standing, as Margot leads me away.

* * *

I smile as the flashes of camera's go off letting Margot lead me down the line of reporters, to answer the same questions over and over again. _Who am I wearing? How does it feel to be one of the most talked about new Motown artists? Am I nervous? _Does it really matter what name is on the label of my dress? I'm not the only one who is new to Motown this year so I don't really consider myself one of the most talked about, and finally duh! Who wouldn't be nervous? At least those are the answers I want to give. Instead, I smile, bite back the sarcastic remarks, and answer the best that I can without sounding condescending. It's not that I don't appreciate everything that I now have, I just hate this part of it. The intrusiveness of some of the questions, or how dumb some of them seem to be to me. I mean, does it really matter what name is on the label of my dress? If I had my way I would show up in a paper bag, that would really get people talking.

" Okay Brooke this is your last interview, I promise," Margot murmurs to me as I flash a smile at a few more screaming photographers.

" Thank God," I murmur through clenched teeth approaching the last interviewer.

" Brooke, you look beautiful tonight," the young woman says smiling at me.

" Thank you," I say blushing, no matter how many times I hear people say that to me it never gets any easier to hear.

" I have just one question for you," she says and I nod my head leaning in to hear her over the crowd, fully prepared to answer one of the same old questions that I'm used to hearing, " An inside source said that the break up between you and Michael Jackson was pretty messy. Do you feel any sort of bad feelings towards Michael and his date Tatiana Thumbtzen?" I stare at her for a minute, shock coursing through me as I try and control my emotions.

" She will not comment on this matter," Margot interjects and I shake my head holding strong to my spot when she tries to pull me away.

" I have no ill feelings towards either of them, Michael is amazing, and Tatiana is a sweet girl," I say fighting against my pitching stomach finally letting Margot lead me away. Caleb takes my hand as Margot wraps an arm around my waist.

" You okay?" Caleb asks, and I nod violently trying to make them believe I'm okay. I cast a look over my shoulder to see Michael and Tatiana not that far behind me a wide smile on both of their faces.

* * *

Whoever said an all ready broken heart cannot break again was sorely mistaken. Believe me, I know from first hand experience. I stand in the darkness of the backstage, my heart aching as I fight to control my emotions. The journalists words whirling around in my head_. 'The messy break up…ill fillings towards Michael and his date….'_

I guess I shouldn't have been so stupid to believe that after all of this time that everything would be go back to the way it was, before everything in my life went completely topsy-turvy. Everything felt like it was going to be all right though, for those few short moments that I was in Michael's arms again, breathing him in. Is a few moments of peace worth the heartache I feel now? I jump slightly turning quickly to find Margot standing behind me, concern in her eyes as she hands me a bottle of water.

" Brooke," Margot murmurs, " I'm so sorry. I had no idea that anyone knew about what went on between you and Michael. Then again, who am I kidding this is Hollywood, the walls talk. I should have told you Michael was here with her."

" Don't apologize Margot," I murmur taking a small sip of my water, " It isn't your fault."

" I know that the last thing on your mind right now is your performance, and I understand that, but you need to just push everything aside, just until you get through the song," she says hugging me closely. I find comfort in her arms. In the last three months Margot has gone from being my manager to one of my closest friends. She will never replace Olivia, but she is a good friend, one of the only people that I have to lean on, especially with my best friend so far away.

" Brooke your on in three minutes," one of the backstage workers says to me and I nod pulling away from Margot.

" Your going to do great," she reassures me and I smile weakly at her. I turn towards the stage when Margot slips away and take a deep breath.

" In 2005 I was given the great honor, albeit difficult job of running Universal Motown. Barry has the honor of claiming great acts such as J5 and many others, now including Michael Jackson's solo career, however I believe with everything that is inside of me that I have found someone who can and will quickly rise to the same level of former Motown artists. With no further ado, singing her first single, Need, Brooke Nichols," Sylvia says, her voice echoing and drowning in applause. I take a deep breath as I navigate towards the piano on the darkened stage, trying to clear my head. _'Just play the song, do your best,'_ I think to myself. It doesn't help. Not one bit. As much as I fight to bury the heartache and pain, it doesn't go away. Quickly my mind races back to the first weekend spent at Neverland with Michael. When he pushed me to use my emotions, my most painful memory, to sing the song. To make it human, to make it real. I sit on the bench, my fingers hovering above the keys. I start playing, my heart hammering rapidly in my chest as the light continues to grow, bathing me in it. Its so silent, aside from my singing and the music flowing from the piano, not another sound could be heard. Its just the music and me, as I pour my soul onto the stage for the entire world to see. I feel the first of many tears slide down my cheek as the words tumble from my mouth. If nothing else is going to get through to Michael, this will. In the months of silence I thought I had built strong walls around myself, but one hug from him is all that it took to send all of those carefully placed defenses tumbling to the ground. This song will show him, will tell him everything that I feel, everything that I need.

" _Etch this into my brain for me, _

_Tell me, how its supposed to be, _

_Where everything will go, _

_And how I'll be without you by my side. _

_My hand searches for your hand _

_In a dark room_

_I cant find you_

_Help me_

_Are you looking for me? _

_My hand searches for your hand _

_In a dark room_

_I cant find you_

_Help me_

_Are you looking for me? "_

I end the song, more aware of the tears that have been falling steadily down my face as I sing, jumping slightly when the audience erupts in applause. I wipe at my cheeks furiously as I turn, my eyes scanning the room finding Michael. I stare at him for a moment my heart screaming out to his before I stand, take my bow, and rush off stage into the waiting arms of my brother.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I slip from my crowded dressing room, escaping the constant chatter of my brothers and family to find a few minutes of peace. These last few months have been hell, finishing the album, agonizing over what song should be performed for the Motown anniversary show, all of it done without Brooke. One of the hardest things I have ever been through. If I could just see her one more time, tell her everything that I need to tell her. How much I have missed her, how much I need her. I guess it will all have to wait though, Lord knows when we're on tour together we will have more than enough time to talk. Problem is, I want everything fixed before that. I want to go into this tour with her. I want to face everything with her. I turn when I hear the door of the dressing room open and smile at my date for the night, Tatiana.

" Thought I would find you out here," Tatiana says smiling as she straightens my jacket for me.

" Just needed a few minutes without the noise," I murmur trying not to meet her eyes.

" You know, if I was any other girl I would be pretty pissed off at you," she says and I chuckle in confusion.

" Why's that?" I ask leaning against the door looking up at her.

" Its more than apparent another woman is on your mind Michael," she says, and I wince.

" Is it that obvious?" I ask jamming my hands into my pocket.

" Only as obvious as the nose on my face," she jokes and I shrug my shoulders, " But it looks like you two think the same." I stare at her confused when she nods her head in the direction behind me. I turn and see Brooke, my heart soaring.

" Will you excuse me a minute," I murmur walking away before I can hear her response. Her back is turned to me and I take a deep breath before calling out to her.

" Brooke," I murmur almost breathless when she turns to me, her hazel widening in shock as she realizes who it is that just called her name, as I slip a hand into my pocket.

" Michael," she whisper's taking a slow step towards me, hesitating slightly. My heart breaks slightly when her eyes start swimming as I come closer stopping to stand in front of her, lifting my hand to cup her face in my palm.

" I've missed you," I whisper pulling her into me, my hands pressing against her skin.

" I've missed you too," she says, her voice slightly muffled since her face is buried in my chest.

" Brooke, oh sorry," someone says as they step from Brooke's dressing room.

" No it's okay, Margot this is Michael, Michael this Margot, my manager," Brooke introduces us and I take Margot's hand firmly in mine.

" I'm sorry to interrupt but Brooke we really must go, the red carpet is waiting for you," Margot says, Brooke nodding her head as she turns to look at me, her eyes shining as she smile apologetically at me.

" Sorry, I have to go. I really want to talk to you though, are you busy after the show?" she asks taking her handbag from Margot her eyes never leaving mine.

" I'll come find you," I say, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. I smile at her my heart sighing when I see that she blushes deeply.

" Okay, see you then," she murmurs as Margot leads her away. I sigh, patting my hand to my heart.

* * *

Red carpet events are all the same, and yet so different. The same old questions, just different people asking them. Its every once in a while that a question will be asked that sends me for a loop. I hold Tatiana's hand lightly in mine as we approach the end of the line and I turn towards the young woman who stands holding a small tape recorder.

" Michael, I just had the honor of meeting your ex," The woman says, and I smile at her confused.

" I'm sorry who did you just meet?" I ask leaning forward so that I can hear her.

" Brooke, Brooke Nichols," she says a wry smile on her face, " I must say with everything that has been said about the messy breakup between the two of you she had nothing but nice things to say about you, and your date."

" I'm sorry but you must be confused, there was never a messy break up between Brooke and me, it was a misunderstanding and poor actions on my part," I say, my voice heating as she nods and smiles.

" According to close sources Brooke left in quiet a huff from your property a few months ago. I guess none of the really seems to matter since you both have obviously moved on," she pushes and I shake my head. Tabloid journalists are as bad as they come. They will claim to have sources and use what little of the story they know to make it a huge ordeal for anyone involved.

" I don't know where you get your sources Miss, but I can assure you I haven't moved on, and I don't think Brooke has either," I say getting ready to turn and leave when she grabs my arm lightly.

" You may not have moved on Mr. Jackson, but I'd say Brooke has," she says pointing to our left. I look over and see Brooke walking, her fingers laced with another mans and my heart sinks.

I sit in my assigned seat watching the stage with blind eyes as Sylvia announces Brooke's performance. How could I have been so wrong? I messed things up beyond repair months ago. I should have learned from Brooke's persistent silence that it was too late. I was too late, but when I held her, felt her in my arms, her heart beating against mine I believed that everything could be okay again. I jolt slightly when the music starts playing, the light on the stage growing steadily brighter until all that can be seen is Brooke and her piano, all that could be heard is her voice and her music. I listen as the emotions pour out of her my throat thickening, making it hard to swallow when I see the tears start falling down her face, and I curse the fact that its me that she sings about. Its her plea to me, to show me, in her own way, that she needed me, and I failed her. I watch in amazement when the audience shoots to their feet and applaud her. I sit, frozen in the moment when her eyes find mine, her hands brushing the tears that stain her cheeks away before she bows gracefully and races from the stage.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

Twenty five minutes later I smile at Javier when he sets aside his make up brush.

" There, good as new," he murmurs and I sigh looking into the mirror. Not a sign that I had been crying left behind, except for the small hint of red in my eyes.

" Thank you," I murmur smiling slightly when he squeezes my shoulder before leaving Caleb and me alone. I stare into my lap lifting my head slightly when Caleb comes to kneel in front of me.

" Are you all right?" he asks and I roll my eyes as I shrug my shoulders.

" I don't know," I whisper, " I feel like an idiot. Crying in front of all those people, I'm such a joke."

" Hey, Brooke, stop it," he says grabbing me as I get up from the chair turning me towards him, " Your not a joke. That performance was hard, and beautiful. All of those people out there stood to their feet, for you. You made them all feel something Brooke. So don't every call yourself a joke." I smile nodding my head.

" We better get back out there," I murmur, taking his hand in mine.

The butterflies dance a happy jig in my stomach as I watch Michael and his brother's hugging each other on the stage, Michael holding the microphone in a gloved hand. The applause is thunderous as Michael smiles widely.

" Aww, your beautiful," Michael says, his voice soft and full of thanks, " Thank you. Thank you. Ya those, those I have to say were the good ol' days. I love those songs, those were magic moments, with all my brothers, including Jermaine. But uh, those were good songs. I like those songs, but especially I like the new songs." The crowd erupts in fevered cheers as he places the microphone on the stand. I watch every move he makes, soaking it in as he turns and picks up his fedora snapping it on his head. His movements are hypnotic as he moves his pelvis and women in the room scream louder shooting to their feet to scream and clap. I knew Michael could dance, had witnessed it many times, but never like this. Michael was laying his soul and talent out for the entire world to see. And all I could do was sit and watch, mesmerized by him. Then it happens. He pushes himself backwards, his feet gliding across the stage in a move that I couldn't even begin to understand, that ends with a spin that leaves me dizzy. Everyone screams as I sit watching him sing Billie Jean, knowing that I had a small part in all of that. I watched as he scrutinized over every lyric, at times threatening to scrap the whole song. Michael Jackson just made history, and I watched it happen. I get to my feet when the song ends and clap, fighting the urge to cry, and to race backstage to be the first to congratulate him, instead I drop to my seat heavily, officially star struck for the first time in my life.


	26. Chapter 26: Dying Inside

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 26: Dying Inside**

_" For a few moments you actually made me feel like I meant something to someone."-Anonymous. _

* * *

Backstage was buzzing with excited chatter, ninety-nine percent of it about Michael and his debut. Nobody has ever seen or heard anything like him. I murmur thanks and shake a million hands as I am stopped on my way to the dressing room.

" Brooke," someone murmurs my name and I turn to find Janet standing off to the side to avoid the throngs of people who are walking by.

" Janet?" I say staring at her in wonder. In the last five months she's grown. Gotten taller and started blossoming into womanhood. I wordlessly walk to her throwing my arms around her in a tight embrace, "How are you?"

" I'm good. I've missed you," Janet says pulling away to look at me, " I only have a minute before Mom and Joseph come looking for me. I just wanted to tell you, your song was beautiful."

" Thanks," I murmur looking down in an attempt to hide the blush the creeps into my face.

" Well I better go," she says hugging me one last time, " You should know, Michael hasn't been the same since you've been gone." I smile slightly and shrug my shoulders as she walks away. I roll Janet's words around in my head, wondering what she meant by that. He seemed the same, at least he did for those few moments when he was holding me. The same heart beat in his chest, the same light shining in his eyes. The same Michael. I walk slowly into my dressing room jumping slightly when Margot and Caleb start cheering madly, a banner hanging behind them reading _' You Didn't Faint!'_ I laugh loudly as Margot hugs me.

" Oh you guys," I say my voice hitching slightly when Caleb hands me a large bouquet of baby pink roses burying my face into the petals drawing in the sweet scent, " How long were you guys planning this?"

" Since we found out that you were performing," Margot says handing me a glass of sparkling liquid causing me to raise a brow at her, " It's just sparkling apple cider." I nod turning when Caleb clears his throat.

" I propose a toast," Caleb says lifting his class, " To my big sister, who wowed the crowd and managed to not pass out." I chuckle clanking glasses with both him and Margot and drink deeply.

" We should get going, clear out, and hit the after party," Margot says gathering bags in her hand.

" You know, you two go ahead, I'm going to stick around for a while, change, gather my thoughts, I'll meet you guys there okay?" I say hugging them both one final time before nonchalantly shooing them from the room. I turn back taking a deep breath only to feel a hand warm on my elbow turning me around. The slow smile dies before fully blooming on my face when I see that its just Caleb, a knowing glimmer shining in his eyes.

" Are you okay?" he asks and I nod my head mustering up a smile.

" Yes Caleb, I'm fine. Just need a little time alone. Now go. Flirt shamelessly with women, have fun, I'll see you soon," I say hugging him close before brushing a kiss to his cheek and shoving him from the room. I shut the door slowly my heart racing as I check the clock. Any second now, and Michael should be here.

* * *

I wake slowly my eyes blurry and swollen, and groan as I turn over running my hands over my face. My stomach is in knots as I sit up and look around, realizing with a quick glance at the clock that its almost seven thirty in the morning. My breath hitches in my chest as reality sets in on me and I lower my face into my hands as the first of what I'm sure will be many hot tears start to flow. I shouldn't have been so naïve. To believe that just because of those few moments in Michael's arms that everything would go back to the way that it used to be. I was too late. My stubbornness and pride stood in the way and ruined the one chance I had at happiness with someone. A soft knock on the door has my heart leaping in my chest as I try fervently to wipe the tears from my face.

" Come in," I faintly call out and my smile falters slightly when I see Caleb step into the room, his brown hair disheveled and his tie hanging loosely around his neck.

" I thought I would find you here," Caleb says his voice going from light to serious when his eyes scan my face and he realizes that not all is right with me, " Brooke, what's the matter?" I shake my head, shrugging my shoulders slightly as my throat constricts over my tears.

" He never came," I choke out my shoulders shaking the flood gates steadily break open releasing a torrent of tears.

" Who?" he asks taking two easy steps across the room kneeling in front of me, his wide palmed hands resting on my shoulders, " Michael?" I nod my head wiping my fingers under my eyes catching a few tears on the tips of my fingers.

" He was supposed to find me, after the show, but he never came Caleb," I murmur gratefully taking the tissue he offers me.

" You were here all night?" he asks his voice accusatory, slightly angry.

" Yeah," I say wincing when he shoves to his feet to pace furiously around the room.

" Let me get this straight. Michael was supposed to find you after the show, so you waited here all night for him," he says and I just continue to nod my head as I realize how stupid this must make me look. Perhaps Caleb was onto something when he said I was the _"dumbest smart girl" _he's ever met. " What were you thinking? Do you know how stupid that was? You could have been attacked, or the building could have caught on fire, or there could have been an earthquake that sent the building to rubble and nobody would have known because no one knew where you were! Margot thought you just went on home, so she didn't bother trying to call you, nobody would have known. Damn it Brooke."

" I understand that Caleb. And might I just say, you have a wild imagination there. Besides who are you to say anything? By the looks of things you didn't make it home yourself," I argue my voice raising as I push off the couch to start gathering my things, my gown whispering against the tile floor.

" That's besides the point Brooke, besides I'm a guy, its totally different," he says sending anger boiling through my blood as I clench my teeth.

" You did not just say that," I hiss turning quickly to look at him, " I would have thought being raised by a single mother that you of all people would be the last to make a chauvinist remark," I fire back balling my hands into tight fists to fight the urge to throw the nearest thing laying to me at his big, sexist, fat head.

" I'm simply stating fact. Women are a million times more likely to be attacked then a man is," he says and the slightly superior tone in his voice sends me over the edge. I grab the plastic tissue box holder and thrust it with all my might across the room connecting with my intended target, his head.

" Ouch, son of a bitch!" he trails off dropping his head to his hands a few droplets of blood smearing against his fingers.

" Oh damn," I murmur rushing forward to check the damage.

" You made me bleed," he says his voice slightly awed as he stares at me.

" Yeah well, you pissed me off," I murmur guiding his to the couch so that I can doctor the wound.

" I must have forgotten that my sister is a scrapper," he says wincing slightly when I press a tissue to the cut on the corner of his temple.

" Ha, ha," I say smirking slightly, " Doesn't look too bad, don't think you'll need stitches or anything, how many fingers do you see?" I tease slightly wiggling four fingers in front of his face.

" Seventeen," he jokes back and I playfully smack his shoulder, when someone clears their throat behind us. I turn quickly only to find Michael, clad in a red button up shirt and black dress pants staring at Caleb and me.

" Michael," I whisper dropping my hands to my side as if I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

" Nice to see you two love birds so early in the morning," Michael says his voice holding a hint of chilliness. I blink at him owlishly trying to process his words as he steps into the room, running his finger across his chin, " And to think, I stood up for you last night to that tabloid sleaze. Apparently she was right, remind me to send flowers to her for my deplorable attitude."

" What are you talking about? Caleb and I aren't," I stammer snapping my mouth shut when Michael flashes angry and hurt eyes to me, causing my words to slide sourly down my throat.

" You aren't what? Dating? Sleeping together?" He demands, "Please Brooke, I'm a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. I'm ninety-nine percent certain that if I hadn't walked by when I did he would have had you out of that dress in two seconds." My eyes widen as I look at him, shock washing over me. I feel the tremble inside of me. The sickening tremble of betrayal and hurt. I open my mouth and shut it trying to take a deep breath, trying to steady my shaking heart and nerves.

" That's sick Michael. You know me. You know everything about my past, so for you to say something like that is not only out of line but disgusting, especially since incest is illegal in all fifty states, at least it was the last time I checked," I hiss out the pulse hammering in my throat as my hands grow clammy and the room begins to revolve around me as pure rage and adrenaline take over.

" Incest?" he murmurs looking at me and Caleb who stands next to me his hand tight on my shoulder, his jaw set in a hard line as he stares at Michael.

" Let me tell you something, Michael Jackson. You have a lot of nerve to come in here and assume that things are going on. Especially after standing me up last night. What happened to '_I'll come find you after the show?' _You know what makes me even more upset about this entire thing?," I demand my voice raising as emotions take over coating every word that I say with ice, " That I actually waited for you! I waited all night, I slept in this freezing cold dressing room, on that cramped couch, waiting for you, and you never came. Doesn't really come as a surprise to me though seeing as how you and Tatiana seem to be doing so well," I scream my body vibrating as the words tumble from my lips, " I have done nothing but think about you for months. There were so many times that I wanted to pick up the phone and call you. So many times that I needed you. Like when I found out I had a half-brother, or when our father attacked us, but my pride stood in the way. Just this morning I sat on that stupid couch and cried, cried because of you, cried because of me, because I knew that it was my pride that got in the way, and I was cursing myself for it. But now, now I'm grateful it did. You haven't changed Michael. Sure, when I saw you last night you looked like the same Michael I fell in love with, you held me for those few moments the same way you held me the one and only night we spent together, and I actually believed that everything would be okay. I can see now how so very wrong I was. You will never change. You will still believe that you can be with Tatiana and me. Reality check Michael it isn't going to happen. Not now, not ever!"

" Brooke, Tatiana and I are just friends, how many different ways do I have to say it, to prove it to you?" he presses and I roll my eyes as I pick up my bags.

" I don't know Michael," I say clutching my things to my chest one hand on the door handle as I look over my shoulder, determined that my eyes are dry as I stare at him, " Why don't you try kissing her again, maybe it will work better the second time around."

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I sit heavily on the couch dropping my head into my hands. It's a right fool I am.

" Wow, some temper on that one," Caleb says light humor in his voice as he leans against the table, his hand shoved deep in his pockets.

" Cant blame her," I say scrubbing my hands over my face.

" Mmm, neither can I. What were you thinking Mike. You know me, more importantly you know her, so how could you make accusations like that?" he asks coming to sit next to me on the couch his elbows braced on his knee's as he looks over at me.

" I don't know. I just. I saw you and her, and that stupid tabloid reporter got to me last night, planting the seed that you guys were, well you know," I trail off rolling my eyes at my own words, " I screwed everything up again, didn't I? God, how could I have been so stupid? Especially since I know what happened to her when she was younger." I push off the couch to pace the room.

" What do you mean? What happened to her when she was younger?" he asks and I wince as I stop pacing my heart plummeting to my stomach. So, Brooke and Caleb are close siblings, but obviously not that close. Who am I kidding, they just found out they were siblings, of course she wouldn't tell him yet. Wow, I must be getting stupider by the second. That happens when I'm around Brooke though. My brain goes to mush and all I can think about is how beautiful she is, how much I want to just snatch her up and run away with her.

" That's not something I can tell you. That's Brooke's story to tell," I answer growing fiercely protective over Brooke's secret.

" I can respect that," he says laying back against the couch his eyes turned to the ceiling, " So how do you plan on winning my sister back over?"

" I don't. I pushed her too far this time Caleb, I can sense it, besides do you really think she's going to let me within a hundred feet of her to try and talk to her?" I ask rubbing my hand over the back of my neck.

" She's going to have to," he says his head coming up so that he can smile at me, " Or did you forget? Rehearsals for your joint tour start Monday." I blink slowly at him before a small smile spreads over my face. Maybe it isn't too late, at least not yet.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

Two hours and a shower later, all I can do is fume as I pace the apartment.

" Who does he think he is? Firing accusations at me? I waited for him for God's sake! While he was doing foul things with Tatiana no less," I mutter to myself my hands tightening on my arms.

" Haven't you heard that talking to yourself is the first sign of mental instability?" Caleb asks as he lazily leans against the door freshly showered and changed, his long sleeved gray shirt pushed up past his elbows.

" Shut up," I growl turning away from him, " Its all your fault you know! If you hadn't pissed me off and forced me to throw something at you Michael wouldn't have even known I was there!"

" Oh sure blame it on the innocent bystander. Besides, even if I hadn't pissed you off, you would be standing in the same spot fuming, why? Because he didn't show up," he says, and I cant even find a smart ass remark to fire back at him. Why? Because he's right. Lose, lose situation for me, yippee. " If it makes you feel any better, he feels really bad about everything. You should have seen him beat himself up after you left. Talking about how could he have been so stupid, especially since he knows what happened to you." I turn slowly to look at him my eyes fiery with anger as I speak in low tones.

" What did he say? What did he tell you?" I ask through clenched teeth.

" Nothing," he says throwing his hands up in defense, " He didn't tell me anything. He said that its your story to tell."

" That's something at least," I mutter the hot fist of anger loosening from around my heart.

" Yeah," he murmurs back as he makes his way into the room plopping down on the couch, " So are you going to tell me what exactly did happen to you?"

" No," I murmur shaking my head as I walk to sit at the piano. I press the keys, soft music filling the room, chasing away to the silence as reality of everything that happened today sets in on me.

" Damn it Brooke, when are you going to let me in?" he demands his voice filled with a curious mixture of anger and pain.

" What are you talking about? We spend twenty four hours a day together, hell you live with me, how is that not letting you in?" I ask refusing to meet his eyes.

" Because there is something you haven't told me Brooke. Something big enough to have Michael defending the secret like it was his own life. You have to learn to let people in," he says bracing his hands on the piano and I take a deep breath even as my eyes fill.

" The last person I let in screwed me emotionally Caleb, so I would rather save myself the pain," I whisper pushing away from the piano to walk away. Caleb grabs my hand turning me to look at him.

" I'm not Michael Brooke," he pleads his eyes shining with emotion. I stare at him my heart and mind warring with each other, " I'm your brother, your blood. I wont hurt you."

" That's what they all say Caleb, I'm sorry," I say pulling my arm from his hands, fleeing to my room. I shut the door turning to slide down against it, pulling my knee's to my chest, my arms wrapped tightly around myself, and I can feel it begin. I'm dying inside.


	27. Chapter 27: The Unbreakable Girl

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 27: The Unbreakable Girl…Finally Broke**

_" The girl who seemed unbreakable…broke. The girl who seemed so strong…crumbled. The girl who always laughed…cried. The girl who always tried…gave up,"-Anonymous_

* * *

The emotions are overwhelming as I pace the room, the voices of doubt and fear swirling in my head as I fight the good fight to make them go away. If only I could sleep. Sleep would make everything okay, at least for a little while. I lay on my bed turning to my side as I stare at the wall, tears running hotly off my face leaving my pillow stained with the evidence of my pain. My phone rings and the familiar ring tone has my heart hitching inside of my chest as I realize who it is that's calling me. Michael. Just the thought of him makes the ache inside of me come to life, tearing at me like a wild animal. I pick up the phone and shut it off not bothering to read the text messages, or to listen to any of the voice mails. Instead I slide it into my nightstand, my fingers brushing against the pill bottle I haven't touched in months. I pull it out and sit up slowly holding it in my hands staring at it. Maybe this will be my escape, at least for a little while. I slowly open it and pop one in my hand, and come to the realization that one, isn't going to be enough.

The weekend passed quickly, or perhaps it moved slowly, I wouldn't know since I spent the majority of it in a haze brought on by my old friend, Xanax. My head still feels foggy when Margot hands me my coffee as we drive to the Staples center for first day of rehearsals.

" Rehearsals have a tendency of running late so I took the liberty of putting a dinner order in for you that will be delivered at six," Margot's voice trails off as she quickly finds that I am not listening, instead my eyes are transfixed on the scenery flashing by outside, " Brooke. Brooke?" I shake my head as I look over at her.

" Hmm," I murmur her face swimming slightly in front of me.

" Did you hear a thing I said?" she asks her eyes searching my face.

" No, sorry," I murmur a slow and sheepish smile blooming on my lips.

" What is with you today? First you didn't answer any of my calls this morning," she states snapping her planner closed.

" I told you I'm sorry all ready. I turned my phone off last night so I could sleep," I murmur.

" And your excuse for not listening to me just now?" she asks her voice slightly annoyed.

" I don't have one okay," I snap, immediately regretting it when her demeanor completely changes and she goes silent, " Margot. Margot I'm sorry okay. Just a crappy weekend."

" I know, I'm sorry. Caleb filled me in this morning when I stormed into your apartment ready to rip your head from your shoulders," she says turning in the seat to look at me.

" Yeah well, its my life," I whisper glad to find that we're pulling into the parking garage for the center. I step out of the car and follow behind Margot and the center security guards, pressing a hand to my stomach as it rolls violently. I stop walking trying to steady myself as my body slightly rocks and I fight the urge to throw up.

" Looks like we're running a little bit behind Brooke," Margot says but her voice sounds so far away as I swallow the bile that's building up in my throat, " Brooke? Brooke!" Soft hands circle my arms as I sway against Margot her eyes bright with worry. " Are you okay?" _'No!'_ my head screams even as I nod my head slowly the nausea thankfully passing.

" Yeah," I choke out not realizing the cold sweat that bathes my skin. She presses her hand to my forehead, amusing me simply because it reminds me of how my mother would check for a fever when I was young.

" You sure? Brooke, if you aren't feeling well you cant push yourself. Health is top priority when going on a tour like this," she urges as she hands me a bottle of water to sip from.

" I'm sure. I just, I haven't had anything to eat or drink since, well Friday," I say faking a smile hoping that its reassuring enough for her to drop the subject.

" Oh well, as soon as we get into the meeting I will find you something to eat," she says wrapping an arm around my waist as we walk into the building, " What would you like?"

" Oh it doesn't matter, maybe some fruit," I say knowing that I wont be able to touch any food she puts in front of me. I'm not sick, at least not in the way she's thinking. This illness stems from too many pills and a broken heart.

* * *

The meeting was boring, mostly people scrambling to bend over backwards for what Michael wants. I have to give it to him, he may be relationship inept but when it comes to his music, his craft, he's a genius. I lost count of the amount of times that I rolled my eyes when Michael, in his quiet way, would cut down preposterous or simply boring ideas. Having the people who offered them turning different shades of red and apologizing all over themselves.

" Well, I think that about does it for this portion of things, at least for today," an older man, whose name I didn't catch announces clapping his hands together.

" Wait, Larry, I'm sorry. We didn't cover a thing that Brooke is thinking, or wanting for her part of the show," Margot chimes in as she looks around the table.

" Ahh that's going to have to wait, until another day," the man, who I know now is Larry says, his voice dripping with a sick and more than apparent fake sweetness that has me growing angry.

" I thought the whole point of having Brooke at the meeting was to go over her vision of the show she wishes to put on for her fans," Margot presses calmly.

" And she will. But with all due respect, as of right now, Michael's performance is what people are really going to want to see," he says and I snap my head in his direction catching a slight glimpse of the look of horror on Michael's face.

" So what, I'm just some sort of glorified opening act?" I accuse the words coming out hot as my temper flairs at the idea.

" No, that isn't what I meant," he says and I shake my head.

" Forget it. I'm late anyways, the trainer is here, have to get this opener in shape," I say my voice dripping with sarcasm before pushing away from the table, "Remember this though, the next meeting we will be covering what I want for MY show, and if you don't like it, maybe its time I find a new tour coordinator."

" You cant do that," Larry says his voice showing his apparent shock and surprise that I would threaten him. After all I'm a virtual nobody compared to Michael.

" Oh, but I can. Jackson and I may be on this tour together, but that simply means we'll be sharing a stage, doesn't mean I have to use the same people he does. So I would think really hard if I were you, do you want to lose not only your position as my tour coordinator, but just what would it mean to you and your career is I found someone who blows his show out of the water? Do you really want to run that risk Larry?" I ask leaving the room with Margot behind me a satisfied smile on both of our faces.

* * *

I groan as I stretch trying to twist my body into the complicated position that Wyatt our trainer seems to be doing with such ease.

" How. Is. It. Possible. That. I. Cant. Seem. To. Do. This," I pant my arms shaking as I try and hold myself up.

" Hold on, here, let me help," Wyatt says easily sauntering across the room to reposition me, and what should have helped only made the it worse. I thud to the floor gasping as the oxygen whooshes out of me. "Are you all right?"

" Yeah, fine," I murmur sitting up so that I'm positioned on my knees panting as I drink deeply from the water bottle that Margot presses into my hands.

" Okay, five minute break and then its onto cardio," Wyatt announces as he steps away from us. I get to my feet slowly placing my hands on my head stretching my torso so that air can fill my lungs easier, my eyes scanning the room. It's a small group to start out with, mostly some of the back up dancers for Michael's show.

" It helps if you breathe while your doing it," a soft and comforting voice comes from behind me and I turn only to see that I am face to face with Michael. I fight the urge to smile and shrug, and instead concentrate on the sweat that beads and rolls down his face and neck.

" Thank you Captain Obvious," I growl turning away from him. As if I could get away that easily, Michael catches my elbow in his hand and spins me back to him.

" Brooke, please," he pleads, his chocolate eyes swimming with emotion.

" Let me go Michael," I hiss, wrenching my arm from his grasp, " There is nothing for us to discuss, not a damn thing. So I will make this easy for you, you stay on your side of the room, I'll stay on mine. We'll get this tour done, and go our separate ways okay." I walk towards the door all too aware that everyone's eyes are on me.

" That isn't enough Brooke, not for me," Michael calls behind me and I turn and look at him appalled that he is so free and willing to lay this out for anyone and everyone within ear shot to hear something so personal. I open my mouth ready to bite his head off but instead snap it shut and shake my head, refusing to give him the satisfaction.

" Brooke, wait, where are you going?" Margot calls after me and I roll my eyes not bothering to look back.

" The bathroom, be back in a few minutes," I say not bothering to look over my shoulder to see if she follows behind me.

* * *

I stare into the mirror, my hands braced against the sink as I begin shaking. I don't know what it is about that man. Is it the feelings that I'm trying so hard to fight against that has me feeling like I'm spiraling out of control, or is it simply the fact that I'm an unstable individual? The anxiety starts rising inside of me as I gasp for air trying to block the voices out of my head. I stumble into one of the stalls when I hear the door swing open and snap shut.

" Seriously did you see her? She couldn't even do a simple stretch," a high pitched voice exclaims followed by a soft giggle, " I heard that the only reason she got a record deal is because she was screwing MJ."

" Yeah I heard that too, I also heard that his long time girlfriend, oh what's her name. Uhm, Tatiana, she wasn't too happy when she found out he messing around with that fat ass," another voice flows through the small bathroom, and to my horror my eyes start stinging as the tears start building up, glazing my eyes.

" I guarantee she wont last a week," cynical laughter floats through the air as I hear the water running in the sink.

" Ha, a week? You give the cow too much credit, I bet she quits by the end of the day." I pull my knee's to my chest as I try my best to hold back the sobs that have my body rocking. The door opens and shuts again and I let out a pain filled groan as I realize that everyone is against me. I fumble through my purse pulling out my pill bottle popping it open. Two worked last night to knock me out, to chase it all away. Maybe a few more will do even better.

I walk back to the training room feeling as if I'm floating on water.

" Brooke, where have you been?" Margot asks and I look over at her a sluggish smile spreading on my face.

" I, I was just in the bathroom," I murmur , my voice slightly slurring.

" Are you okay?" she asks her eyes scrutinizing me as she leads me to a chair.

" I'm fine, Mar-got," I say the words feeling funny in my mouth. I try to laugh but instead everything starts feeling funny as the world around me dims and the voices float away.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

Today was a terrible day. The joke of a meeting earlier topped off with Brooke's chilly reception to my advice all mixing together to make for one of those days where I just wish I could fly somewhere far away where nobody knows my name or my face. I take a deep drink from my water bottle and watch the door. My heart giving a familiar leap when I see Brooke walk back into the room. She's beautiful. Her dark hair cascading over her shoulders, something seems off about her though. Her skin looks entirely too pale, the shadows painted under her eyes far too dark. A small voice in the back of my head tells me that something isn't right. Only to be confirmed by the way Margot leads her to a chair, kneeling in front of her. I debate with myself as I start walking towards them my heart hammering in my chest. I get close enough to realize that something is definitely wrong with Brooke, just in time to watch in frozen horror when she slumps forward, her beautiful hazel eyes rolling back into her head.

" Brooke! Brooke!" Margot's surprised voice calls out as a small crowd gathers around where she lays motionless on the floor. I push through the crowd dropping to my knee's next to her.

" What happened?" I ask pressing my fingers to her throat. I feel her pulse thrumming lightly and sluggishly against my fingers.

" I, I don't know. She looked sick earlier but she said she was okay," Margot stammers her words cut off when Brooke's body starts shaking.

" Somebody get help," I call out in fear as I watch her, her body moving as if she is a puppet on a string. " Brooke, Brooke! Wake up, Brooke!" I'm pulled away from her by the medical team, left to stand back and watch as they work over her, completely helpless.

* * *

_Brooke's POV_

I sit in my hospital bed staring out of the window shame washing over me. It wasn't intentional. The overdose that is. I know it sounds ridiculous, even the mental health specialist looked at me like I was crazy when I told her that it wasn't done to end my life. That wasn't the intention. I just wanted the voices and the panic to go away.

" Knock, knock," a soft voice calls from the door way and I wipe my fingers under my eyes before turning to find Caleb standing with a small bouquet of flowers. I smile shakily at him as he sets the flowers down and sits on the edge of my bed.

" Overdose. Brooke, really?" he asks, his hand coming up to brush my hair away from my face.

" I didn't do it on purpose Caleb," I whisper, " I just, I wanted it to stop."

" Wanted what to stop? Your life?" he asks taking my hand in his, his eyes misting over.

" No," I say shaking my head, " The panic. I felt like I couldn't breathe Caleb. There was the joke of a meeting, in which I was basically called a glorified opening act. Then there was the disaster of a work out. Those girls, they were just so, mean."

" What girls?" he asks his eyes confused.

" I don't know who they were. They came into the bathroom and didn't know I was there. They said the only reason I got my record deal was because I was screwing Michael," I stammer tears running hotly down my cheeks, " The said they didn't know what Michael could see in a fat ass like me. They said I wouldn't last, and they were right. Who was I kidding Caleb? I'm not cut out for this."

" Hey, hey. What's this? Your going to let what some ignorant and immature girls say get to you so much? Are you seriously going to give up your dream for them?" he asks lifting my chin to look at him. I shrug my shoulders as the tears continue to fall at an alarmingly fast rate.

" I don't know Caleb," I murmur shaking my head loose from his grasp.

" Listen to me. I know you have been through a lot. I was pretty upset this weekend, when you wouldn't let me in. When you held me on the same level as the people who have hurt you. I mean, I waited my entire life to meet my sister and then I do, and we click almost instantly, but its so damn frustrating to be held at arms length, but with that said, when I got the phone call from Margot that they were rushing you to the hospital, I," he says his voice hitching slightly, " I have never been so scared in my life. Brooke. You have an amazing gift, and it's a gift that the rest of the world deserves to see and hear, and let me tell you something. You deserve this. You deserve to have your dreams come true. I am not going to let you walk away from everything you have worked so hard for because of what some people said about you. It's the business, sister. People are going to talk about you, make up lies, try and slam you every single chance that they get, but you are stronger than that, and the people who love you are the ones who are always, always going to have your back." He hugs me sweetly, cradling me against his chest allowing me to cry out the rest of the tears that I have left.

" Caleb, I'm tired," I murmur pulling away from him to snuggle into the hospital bed.

" Then sleep love," he whispers, starting to shift off the bed. I grab his hand pulling him back.

" Will you stay, just until I fall asleep?" I ask, and he smiles softly nodding his head as he settles into the bed next to me, my head resting on his shoulders as I fall fast asleep.

* * *

I'm pulled from my rather restless sleep by the sound of a raised and panicked voice.

" Where is she?" a defiant voice demands just outside of my door.

" Slow down, your going to wake her and she just fell asleep," Caleb's voice flows to me.

" I don't care, she's my best friend, now where is she?" the second voice demands, as I attempt to sit up. I jump slightly when my door swings open and on the other side is Olivia. Her blonde hair in a mess, her eyes shadowed heavily showing her lack of sleep and filled with slight fear.

" Liv?" I ask, my breath fleeing from my body when she launches herself at me, grabbing me into a vice like hug.

" Brooke, oh God, Brooke," Liv sobs into my shoulder before pushing me at arms length to stare at me, her hands coming up to cup my face.

" Liv, wh-what are you doing here?" I ask, my own tears choking my voice as I stare at her in disbelief. Then she lets out a shaky laugh, and in that moment its like something I didn't realize was missing falls into place, the pressure is off my chest and for the first time in a long time I feel like I can breathe.

" What do you mean, what am I doing here?" she demands, wiping slender hands over her face, " I got a phone call from Margot, that you overdosed. Brooke, what in the name of all that's holy were you thinking?" I look at her, a smile creeping over my lips slowly, until finally I burst into hysterical laughter holding onto my achy sides.

" Oh Liv, its so nice to see you," I exclaim over my laughter.

" Be that as it may, you still didn't answering the question. Seriously Brooke, what were you thinking?" she asks staring at me and I shrug my shoulders, unsure how to answer her.

" I wasn't Liv. I just, I," I throw my hands up signaling that I don't know where to begin. So much has happened since the last time I spoke to my best friend. Not that its her fault, or mine. We both just have our own lives. Me and my music, her and her fashion. Somewhere along the way we just kind of disconnected.

" Okay, take a deep breath, and start from the beginning," she murmurs taking my hand, showing me with that one easy connection that I'm safe again.

* * *

**Michael's POV**

I stand in the doorway of Brooke's hospital room, afraid to step into the room, but terrified to walk away. I lean heavily against the wall staring at her. I cant fight the small tug of a smile that pulls at my lips when I see that her hair has been brushed and braided, thanks to Olivia of course. The cherry red lip gloss painting her lips stands out shockingly against her pale skin. Perhaps it was wrong of me, to eavesdrop on the conversation between Brooke and Olivia, but I know, deep down inside had I come in and tried to find out for myself just what was going through her head when she swallowed those pills, that she wouldn't have answered me. Moreover she wouldn't trust me with what she had to say, what she was feeling. I walk slowly to her bedside sitting cautiously in the chair by her. My fingers itch to reach out and touch her, just once, to reassure myself that she's real. Alive. Whole. I press my fingers to my eyes trying to stifle the groan of pain that threatens to spill out of my lips. I knew Brooke was struggling. I just never understood how hard of a time she was having. I pretty much grew up in Hollywood, so I understand the down right cruel and vile things people will say, and do, to completely destroy a person. The anger courses through the when I think of the things those girls said about her. The final thing that drove her over the edge.

" My God Brooke," I whisper, taking the chance to take her hand while she continues to sleep completely unaware that I'm here, " I'm so sorry, for everything." I brush my lips over the back of her hand before stepping away and out of the room. Sometimes, the best thing, albeit most painful thing to do for someone you love, is to simply walk away.

* * *

_**Brooke's POV**_

Wednesday morning dawns with a steady drizzle of rain fall as I'm wheeled out of UCLA Medical Center, Liv on one side talking a mile a minute about all of the amazing plans that she has for us for the four days she has left in the states, Margot on the other side murmuring in a hushed voice on her cell phone, while Caleb pushes me silently. I smile turning my face to the sky reveling in the feel of the rain drops. Silly really, to find joy in such a small thing. Then again, two days ago I could have very well died, so maybe it isn't so silly after all.

" All right Brooke, up and at em'" Caleb proclaims, helping me from the chair, wrapping a strong arm around my waist while the nurse leaves with the wheel chair.

" Thanks," I murmur sitting in the car, my body feeling slightly sluggish. A side effect the doctors warned me that I would have to face, at least for a few days.

" So, you aren't scheduled to go back to rehearsal until next week," Margot announces once every one in the car is settled.

" What? No. I'll be back at rehearsals tomorrow," I say turning in my seat to look at her.

" Brooke, be reasonable, you just got out of the hospital, you need a few days to get settled, to get better," she says not bothering to look up from her Blackberry.

" I am being reasonable Margot," I say passing my hand over her phone so that I block the screen, " I want to go back to rehearsals tomorrow. This is my dream Margot, I'm not giving up on it." She looks at me steadily her eyes lighting up slightly before nodding her head.

" Fine, I'll let them know," she says, and I catch a small smirk on her lips as I turn to settle in my seat, a smile of my own lighting up my face.


	28. Chapter 28: Still In Love

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review! Sidenote: Song used in this chapter is Make Up Smeared Eyes, no copyright infringment intended! Read ON!**

**Chapter 28: Still In Love With Who I Wish You Were**

_" Each move I made towards him, just seemed to pave my way to hell faster,"-Anonymous._

* * *

The nervousness is undeniable as I walk into the Staples Center Thursday morning. Scared of what people will think, what they've been saying since I collapsed at rehearsal a few days ago. Do they know that I was driven to the point of taking too many pills to make the pain go away? Or was it covered up by some excuse or another. Perhaps it was chalked up to dehydration. That seems to be the Hollywod excuse for just about everything nowadays.

" You okay?" Olivia asks her hand squeezing mine pulling me easily from my dark thoughts.

" Yeah, just nervous," I murmur nodding my head at her.

" It's going to be fine. Besides your best friend is here, so if anyone says a bad word about you I will sort them out," she says flexing her arm to show off her biceps. I laugh loudly shoving her playfully as we go through the door, and because my amazing skills of observation are less than stellar I manage to run head on into someone.

" I'm so sorry," I giggle, getting to my feet as Olivia continues to laugh uncontrollably.

" No she isn't," Olivia says her laughter fading slightly when she see's who it is before I do.

" It's all right," a soft voice murmurs, " Glad to see that your better." I look up slowly to find Michael standing, staring down at me, a weird glint in his beautiful eyes. Distance. Thats what's gleaming in his eyes.

" Yeah," I murmur, my heart hammering in my chest. We stare at each other for what seems like an eternity before Margot clearing her throat catches my attention forcing me to break the stare.

" We have a meeting with Larry," Margot says and I nod my head, turning to look back at Michael.

" I have to go, but I would like to talk to you later, if you have the time," I say shuffling my feet nervously.

" All right. Come and find me after the workout," he says, his voice so cold it seems like one I have never heard before. Not even when he accused Caleb and I of sleeping together did he sound like this.

" That was," Olivia murmurs pausing to take my hand in hers, " Awkward."

" Tell me about it," I say, heading into the meeting with nothing and nobody but Michael on my mind.

* * *

Two hours later I walk out of the meeting rubbing at my temple roughly, cursing the migraine brewing strongly behind my eyes.

" That man, is utterly infuriating," I hiss, gladly taking the water bottle that Margot offers me.

" I know, I'm sorry," Margot says a pained look on her face.

" Don't apologize, it isn't your fault," I murmur, my body still slightly vibrating from the pent up anger inside of me.

" That isn't the point. He acts like you aren't good enough for this. Does he honestly think that if you weren't good enough for this that the label would even put you in it? Hell no they wouldn't. Where does he get off," her words trail off as I gawk at her. I have never seen my cool headed assistant so worked up, " What?"

" Nothing, I've just never seen you get so angry," I say trying to clamp down on the laughter that threatens to bubble out of my lips.

" Well if there is one person that can piss me off, its Larry," she says walking with me towards the gym.

" It's going to be all right Margot," I say, " I will make him realize the error of his ways soon enough."

" You better," she murmurs as I walk away from her to join the group that is all ready stretching out. I notice a few new faces, ones that I didn't see before. Was I that drugged out that I couldn't remember the people that I saw just a few days before?

" All right ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome a few new faces," Wyatt says clapping his hands enthusiastically, " Jenna and Melissa took the place of Britney and Jane. Seems their schedules just wouldn't permit them to tour with us." My eyes scan the small group until I find Michael, staring at me, studying my face carefully. And it all clicks. He did this. He found out, somehow, exactly what it is that happened that day, and instead of glancing over it, or thinking me a fool for taking to heart the cruel things they said about me, he did something about it. Something lifts inside of me as a surge of pure love courses in its place.

* * *

A few hours later I stand against the wall of the gym watching as the last few people disperse, until finally its just Michael and I, watching each other from across the room. I take a deep breath as he walks towards me my heart aching by the distance that still lights his eyes.

" You wanted to talk," Michael offers, shoving his hands in his pockets.

" Yeah, I just," I murmur, " I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything. I've learned, in the last few days that life is short, and I don't want to waist time on something as stupid as being mad at you."

" Brooke," he murmurs a new look in his eyes, surprise. Like what I had said took him completely off guard.

" I know you were probably half expecting me to go completely off my rocker with you, I cant blame you, the way I've been acting lately, but I'm not mad at you," I murmur, " I don't think I was ever mad at you Michael. I was hurt. So hurt, and that killed me. It's been a really long time since I allowed myself to get close enough to someone for them to hurt me."

" Brooke," he whispers stepping so close to me that I can feel his warm breath wash over my skin sending a small chill up my spine. His hands come up slowly taking my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks, tracing the line of my jaw, brushing under my eyes as a slow and heartbreaking smile spreads across his lips. " I never wanted to hurt you Brooke. I would rather die than ever bring you pain, and yet that seems to be all that I am doing to you."

" Michael, stop," I plead, tears stinging my eyes as my hands circle around his wrists, but instead of embracing me in his usual manner he gently removes my hands from him and takes a step back.

" I saw you, when you were in the hospital," he says his voice soft as he stares at me with sad eyes.

" What, when?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest as I continue to look at him.

" You were asleep, and Olivia just stepped out of the room. I know I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I knew that if I tried coming in to talk to you that you wouldn't say a word to me. I heard it all Brooke. The way you've been feeling, how much the things those girls said to you affected you, how much the things I did and said to you, hurt you. I don't know how long I sat there, watching you sleep. On the one hand grateful that you were alive, that they got you help in time. On the other hand, I felt so lost. Guilty. That something I did could make you hurt so bad. I promised you something that day, even though it wasn't said out loud, but it's a promise I intend to keep," he says his voice holding that hint of cold indifference that was there just this morning. He starts backing away slowly, his footsteps resounding off the walls.

" What was the promise?" I ask my voice strong despite how weak I feel.

" That I would walk away. Turn away from you, from us," he says, a pained looking marring his beautiful face, " I promised that I would never hurt you again."

" Michael you don't have to walk away from me," I say tears clouding my eyes, " Please, don't walk away."

" I have too," he says his voice dripping with sadness, " I don't ever want to be the reason for your pain Brooke. Remember this, I will always love you." I stare at him shocked, my heart beating sluggishly against my ribs as he stares at me.

" Don't," I beg. " Please just don't. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was stubborn, and stupid. Please, I cant live without you! Don't you get it? Even when I was mad at you, you were still the only thing that made everything okay again, as much as I hated it." He takes a few steps towards me, once again cupping my face in his hands, his exquisitely long fingers brushing away the tears that fall from my eyes.

" I'm sorry," he murmurs lowering his forehead to mine before brushing his lips over my forehead before turning and walking away from me.

" Brooke," Olivia murmurs as we drive through the city, the bright lights washing over my face showing the tears I'm trying so desperately to hide.

" Not now Liv, please," I whisper, not trusting myself to speak any louder, knowing that my voice would break. The car is silent the rest of the trip back to my apartment, and I slip out of the car before Olivia can even put it in park. I take the stairs two at a time, fumbling with my keys. I know its coming. The tears, the heart ache, the complete and utter feeling of being alone, and unwanted. I finally get the door open and rush inside, my lungs feeling as if they are seconds away from exploding inside me. I'm slightly grateful at least, that Caleb is nowhere in sight as I make a beeline for my bedroom. I step into my room, my sanctuary and shut the door flipping the lock before rushing into the bathroom and turning the shower on full blast, letting the sound of rushing water drown out the choking sobs that tear from my chest as I slide down the bathroom wall, crying into my arms.

* * *

A month has passed. Four long, grueling weeks since he told me that he was walking away from. Being a martyr is what he was trying to be. Go figure. He loves me, I love him, and yet somewhere along the way, wires got crossed and everything completely shattered around me. Maybe I was a fool for thinking that everything would go back to normal. That something as simple as me pleading and begging him to stay would make him actually stay. Oh who was I kidding, if there is one thing that I have learned about Michael its that once his mind is made up, it stays that way. So in the four weeks since that life altering talk things have been tense to say the least. So tense in fact that Olivia feels the need to point out that we should sleep together all ready and get it over with, claiming that the _quote un quote_ sexual tension is so bad she can feel it all the way in Paris. Ha, as if its something as simple as sex. Its so much more complex than that. At least it is on my end. What do you do, when the only person that can make everything make sense again wont look at you, let alone speak to you? I shift nervously from foot to foot on the stage as I watch people gathering towards the front. Rehearsals are drawing to an end, and the tour launch date is rapidly approaching, a moment I'm dreading with everything inside of me. Tonight is the last night that we'll be in the _'safety' _if you can call it that, of this center, with nobody watching us except for back up dancers, and crew. Sure it took a while to get Larry to warm up to the idea that there are two big acts in this whole thing, but once he did he worked with me, complying with just about everything I said. Including my opening number, in which I will be lowered to the stage with two other people flanking me, suspended by wires. I don't know exactly what I was thinking when I came up with the idea, but hey, you only live once right? A fact I quickly learned when I was suspended twenty five feet from the stage looking down and praying that I wouldn't end up wetting myself in front of a room full of people. I smile softly to myself as I stand tuning my guitar quietly waiting for Larry to give me my cue.

" You ready Brooke?" Larry calls to me and I nod my head slipping my monitoring earpiece in place as I adjust the shoulder strap of my guitar, stepping up to the microphone.

_Left your t-shirt in my room, still smells of you, and the picture you hung on the door lay smashed, and picture perfect. Clearly nothing left but a memory, we only made out you never kissed me, that's how I learned to hold back all feeling._

_ Wait, please don't go, I won't stay. All these words on replay. I'm ok, its alright, good to know that you're fine._

_ Pretending everything is right to make it better. I'll hide my make up smeared eyes. To show that I'm fine. _

_Somehow you have managed to get under my skin, more than anyone ever did. And if every hole makes a scar, and every scar marks it place, Then I will never live freely without your trace._

_And it'll never be fair, I wrote my songs for you and you never even cared._

_So I'll forget you, I'll wash your t-shirt, and kill the pillow and cut you out of pictures._

_Wait, please dont go. I wont stay. All these words on replay. I'm okay, its all right, Good to know that you're fine. _

_Pretending everything is fine to make it better. I'll hide my make up smeared eyes. To show that I'm fine. _

_This drama sat shotgun, my eyes rain like autumn, only the glove box knows how the story goes. _

_Now that this bandage is broken, and the cuts left and open, tell ya just one thing, this wasn't worth the sting._

I listen as the applause echoes off the walls of the arena and smile as I take a dramatic bow and smack hands with a few people before making my way backstage.

" Brooke," someone calls to me and I turn still smiling when I see Michael standing one hand in his soon to be trademark glove and I swallow deeply, part of me telling to me to just turn and run, while another part of me tells me to stay.

" Michael," I whisper back, smiling softly at him.

" That was," he pauses slightly as if looking for the right words to say," Some song," he says and I shrug my shoulder lightly.

" Yeah well, I had quiet the muse," I murmur, turning around quickly to gather my things.

" Ouch, okay, I guess I deserve that," he says following me closely, " Listen, I want to apologize. For ignoring you for the last month."

" Why now?" I ask, looking at him seriously.

" I had a talk with," he starts saying but Larry interrupts by calling him to the stage, " Listen, are you going to the big dinner tonight?"

" Yeah, I'll be there," I murmur watching him as he smiles.

" Okay, good, I was thinking maybe we can talk, you know just you and me, afterwards," he says and before I can think I nod my head in agreement, " See you tonight then." He leans in brushing a soft kiss to my forehead before jogging to the stage. I stare after him, blinking owlishly before turning to finish gathering my things.

" Men," I murmur laughing slightly as I walk away.

* * *

" Margot, do you know where my little black clutch bag?" I yell as I ruffle through the bottom of my closet cursing the fact that I have been so busy lately that I haven't had the chance to keep things organized.

" You mean this little black clutch bag?" Margot asks, dangling the bag in front of me as I roll my eyes at her and stand up straight.

" That would be the one," I murmur taking it from her hands.

" Wait a minute, what in the world are you wearing?" she asks staring at me, her cool eyes assessing me carefully. I stare down at my self, taking in my appearance. I don't know what's wrong with what I'm wearing. I look in the mirror and shrug my shoulders.

" What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I ask turning my head to look at her.

" Well, for one, you look like you just stepped out of high school, and two, didn't Michael say something to you today?" she asks smiling slowly as she starts looking through my closet nonchalantly.

" Yeah he did. But I don't see how that has to do with anything," I say flopping onto my bed, " Besides, I do not look like I just walked out of a high school."

" Trust me, you do. And the point is, Michael has opened the lines of communication girl, you need to wear something tonight that is going to make him look at you and stop his heart. Something like," she says her hands quickly pushing clothes to the side until her hands freeze, " This." I look at the slinky dress she holds in her hands and much to my dismay feel the blood rushing to my face.

" Are you crazy, I cannot wear that," I say shaking my head furiously.

" You can, and you will. Now hurry up and change. Oh take your hair down too, give it a good shake," she says throwing the garment at me before breezing out of my room. I know I'm a grown woman and I can make the decision myself, but the truth is, there is absolutely no fighting it. Margot is a lot like Olivia when it comes to getting her way. She always gets it.

I stand in front of the floor length mirror and turn from side to side, having to admit to myself that Margot was right. As always. The flirty black dress fits snugly to mid thigh, showing off toned legs, thanks to the brutal work outs over the last month. The neckline low enough to show off some cleavage without revealing the jagged scar that lays against my skin. Not too bad at all.

" Knock, knock," Margot sings opening the door only to stop mid-step and let out a low whistle. " That dress is going to kill him," she says smiling at me as she hands me a small silver tube.

" What's this?" I ask looking at her confused.

" Red lipstick, exactly what that outfit needs," she says smiling smugly as I raise an eye brow at her. " I noticed that your make up collection doesn't run to red lipstick. Which is a shame. Every girl needs red lipstick. Seriously, it will completely change the way you feel"

" I've worn red lipstick before Margot," I say rolling my eyes at her dramatic words.

" Then it wasn't the right kind, seriously just try it," she says shoving me towards the mirror.

" Whatever you say," I whisper, painting the vivid red paint over my lips.

* * *

The truth is, as I slip out of the black SUV and wait patiently on the sidewalk outside of Yamashiro for Margot whose busy flirting it up with the valet, I do feel slightly empowered. I don't know if I would attribute it to the red lipstick, maybe it was the combination of the little black dress and the lipstick, or maybe it was nothing more than simple hope. Hope that Michael came to his senses, seeing as he did open the line of communication.

" You ready?" Margot asks, looping her arm through mine and I nod my head walking with her through the cool air, our high heels clicking over the pavement echoing behind us. I smile when we step through the door, greeted cheerfully by most of the crew. I smile noticing Caleb sitting at the far end of the table saving two seats for Margot and myself. I notice much to my dismay that most eyes are on me, but I just smile as I walk by trying to hide the fact that I have grown suddenly and overwhelmingly nervous by the attention.

" Wow sis, trying to give all the guys in the place a heart attack?" Caleb whispers as I take a seat. I playfully punch his arm and shake my head.

" Don't blame me, it was all her idea," I say nodding my head towards Margot who smiles innocently as she turns her head to the waiter to order a drink.

" Oh, so it's you who got my sister to get all dressed up, what's the occasion?" Caleb asks Margot and I roll my eyes.

" She just needed a little helpful push that's all," Margot says smiling at me. I search the room and with a sinking heart realize that Michael still isn't here. What if he isn't coming. What if it his remarks earlier were just some sick game that he was playing with me. I shake my head slightly. _' Come on Brooke, you know Michael. He would never do anything like that to you,'_ I rebuke myself lightly watching the door nervously, waiting for any sign of the man who has my heart.

An hour has passed and I find myself four seats down from where Margot and Caleb sit talking animatedly with a few of the back up singers.

" Hey," a soft accented voice says and I look up from my lap smiling slowly at Blake. Out of all of the crew Blake is the one that I can relate to the most. He is quiet, keeps to himself mostly, but when he gets onstage and picks up his guitar he just seems to come to life, like a switch in him is thrown and he's allowed to be who he was always supposed to be.

" Hey Blake," I say smiling at him patting the chair next to me which he takes gratefully.

" Sorry if I interrupted something, I just, I saw you sitting by yourself and thought I would come keep you company," he says shyly and I smile as blush paints his cheeks. " Thanks. And you weren't interrupting anything, I promise. I just didn't want to be around them," I say nodding towards my brother and friend and the group their talking too, " Their placing bets on when Michael and I will finally come to our senses and get together."

" Ahh," he says his face dropping slightly.

" Juvenile right? I mean we're adults, and besides, Michael walked away," I say knowing that this isn't news to Blake. Other than Margot and Olivia, Blake is the only other person who I have confided in any way. Weird I know, but there is just something about Blake. Maybe its the way his dark hair flops into his eyes, or how amazingly attractive his Aussie voice just seems to pull me in, comforts me, reminding me of exotic places.

" Stupid," he whispers and I look at him confused.

" Excuse me?" I ask slightly offended that he would call me stupid.

" No, not you. Him. Michael. He's an idiot. If he walked away from you he has got to have some sort of brain damage," he says and I blush slightly unable to stop the smile from spreading across my face.

" I think that's one of the nicest things anyone has said to me Blake, thanks," I say following impulse and hugging him lightly. He hugs me back and before I can remove myself from his arms the room erupts in cheers and I jump back noticing that he's finally here. With her.

* * *

I pace the women's room nervously, my high heels clicking rhythmically against the tile floor trying to calm the warring emotions inside of me. It shouldn't be this. I shouldn't feel this way. I don't have a claim over Michael. So why does it bother me so much that he showed up to this little shindig with Tatiana? Of course I know why it bothers me. She's the reason Michael and I aren't together. She showed back up in his life and stole away my one chance of complete and utter happiness. God how I hate her! I take a deep breath and spin around when the door opens behind me, revealing a panic stricken Margot.

" Are you okay?" Margot asks worriedly taking my arms in her hands.

" Peachy," I mutter, " I don't get it. Why would he say to me what he said earlier, if he was going to show up with her?"

" Okay I know it looks bad Brooke, but for all you know they could just be here as friends. I mean after all she is working on the tour," she offers and I shrug my shoulders.

" Don't remind me. I get to see her perfect smiling face taunting me every day for eighteen months," I say gripping the sink tightly shuddering slightly at the thought.

" All right just, take a deep breath and go back out there," she says turning towards the door, " Oh and one more thing. Fix your lipstick."

* * *

I make my way through the restaurant, weaving between tables carefully collecting my thoughts and reminding myself to keep my head up. Perhaps Margot's right, maybe they are just here as friends. I repeat that thought in my head over and over again as I walk back into the dining room where everyone is gathered and find Michael's eyes on mine. A slow smile on his lips as he stares at me and my heart sighs at the sight. I smile at him slowly as I take my seat, allowing myself to flow back into the conversation surrounding me. A few minutes pass when the sound of silverware clinking against a glass has the room growing quiet.

" Hey everyone," Michael says, his voice floating melodically around the room, " This will only take a few minutes. I just want to thank all of you, for working so hard on the preparation for this tour. From the bottom of my heart, each and every one o you is like family. And because you are all like family, I have an announcement that I want to share with all of you. Tatiana and I are engaged." I feel the smile on my face drop slowly as the air escapes my lungs quickly. Engaged? I shake my head slowly feeling tears biting at my eyes. I shrink back into my chair as cheers erupt and people get up making their way to the happy couple to congratulate them. I slip out of my chair and manage to get out of the room without anyone seeing the tears that are falling down my face. I step outside and walk to the back of the restaurant my heart shattering inside of me.

" Brooke?" a questioning voice calls to me and I don't have to look up to know who it is, " Brooke I'm sorry." I brush my fingers under my eyes before turning, looking at Michael who's face is the picture of remorse.

" Why? Why would you do this to me?" I ask, my voice shaky despite trying to sound so strong, " Was it not enough for you? To know that I love you, that I'm in love with you, and how much it hurt when you told me you were walking away? Did you need to see just a little bit more? See just how far you can push me before I completely break? Well congratulations Michael, I'm broken. Are you happy now?"

" I never wanted to hurt you," he says his voice firm as he steps towards me, " Brooke please. You don't understand."

" What is there to understand Michael. Your engaged, your getting married," I say the words alien to me even as I say them.

" Brooke, please just let me explain," he pleads as I push past him trying to get away. Away from his eyes, his face, the sound of his voice. Instead being Michael he cant just let me go so that I can slink off and lick my wounds, he grabs my wrist turning me to look at him.

" Just stay away from me Michael. I don't want to see you ever again, but seeing how that is an impossibility, I will deal with the fact that I will be stuck for the next year and a half of my life having to look at you with her, and pretend that it isn't killing me, but we aren't tour right now. So I don't have to stay here and watch you with her, now let me go," I all but scream not caring the least bit that tears are freely raining down my cheeks as I pull my wrist from his grasp. I turn walking as quickly as I can away from where Michael stands only to run straight into someone else.

" I'm sorry," I stutter breathlessly as I try so hard to keep the tears of anger inside my chest.

" Brooke? Are you okay?" a soft voice asks and I look up noticing Blake through tear filled eyes, staring at me his eyes lit with worry.

" Yeah, I'm fine, sorry," I whisper, walking around him.

" Hey, wait," he calls jogging to catch up to me, " Where are you going?"

" I just, I have to get away," I murmur as I keep on walking.

" All right. Well, how about I get my car and we can go somewhere," he says and I stop to look at him.

" You would do that for me?" I ask wrapping my arms around myself carefully.

" You look like you can use a friend," he says, " And I'm really good at being a friend." I stare at him smiling slightly as I nod my head.

" All right," I whisper taking the hand that he offers me.


	29. Chapter 29: Enough

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 29: Enough**

_" It isn't that I don't love you….its just that it hurts too damn much."-Anonymous_

* * *

You would think in six weeks the memories of that night and of him would be somewhat a distant memory. Wrong. So wrong. Of course it doesn't help that Tatiana is constantly walking around flaunting that stupid ring, and as much as I tried to find a way around it I was stuck on the same stupid tour bus as the happy and perfect couple. The only plus side is that I'm not entirely alone. Margot is on the bunk across from mine, and Blake dwells in the one under me. They have been my only life lines through out this entire disaster. Well that isn't entirely true. Caleb is here too, but he's on the other bus with the other crew members, and Olivia and I swap emails daily, which helps. Actually, I suppose that I cant complain too much. It's a lot easier to avoid someone on a tour bus than you would think. Simply duck into a bathroom when you see the person your trying to avoid and your good to go. Unless the bathroom is occupied and then your just in for a really embarrassing moment. Believe me, I should know.

I roll over knowing that sleep just isn't something I'm going to find tonight. I poke my head out of my bunk and find that nobody is awake. Both Margot and Blake's curtains are tightly shut offering me no chance of refuge. I sigh swinging my legs off my bed, pulling the sweater I stole, well more like borrowed _'indefinitely' _from Blake over my head. I smile softly as I walk down the hall the smell of Blake's cologne washing over me. At least in this I find some sense of comfort. I slide onto the couch at the front of the bus, pulling my knee's to my chest as I watch the night pass by through the window in a blur. As much as I have tried to forget it all, forget about everything that would have been, should have been with me and Michael, it wont seem to go away. The memories of the time spent with him at Neverland, forever at the forefront on my thoughts. Movie nights, water fights, endless mountains of popcorn. How is it possible that after all of the pain and betrayal, that I still miss him. Miss the feel of his hand in mine, or the way his laughter would send a peculiar shiver up my spine whenever I hear it?

" Hey," a soft voice says and I turn my head smiling up at Blake who smiles sleepily at me before taking a seat across from me.

" Hey," I say pulling my feet up so that he doesn't sit on them.

" Couldn't sleep?" he asks and I nod my head.

" Just couldn't shut my head off you know?" I say tapping my head with my finger.

" Yeah I know how that can be. Anything you want to talk about?" I stare at him, knowing in my heart that he's being sincere, and yet I find myself instinctively holding back.

" No, yes, I don't know." I fiddle with the chain hanging around my throat trying to steady my suddenly shaking fingers.

" Hey, you know that you can tell me anything," he offers his sleepy eyes suddenly clearing as he sits up all the way and looks into my eyes.

" I know, its just. I know that you must be getting tired of hearing about, him," I whisper, pain shooting through me.

" Ahh, so its Michael who has you awake at two in the morning. It's perfectly normal you know? To miss him, miss what you guys had," he says taking my hand in his, drawing patterns softly on my palm.

" That's just it though. We didn't have anything. I mean, he was my best friend, and sure maybe I started to feel _'that' _way about him, but, its stupid for me to be feeling like this after all this time. He's obviously moved on, so why cant I?" I ask frustrated by the emotions that bubble to the surface.

" Maybe you just haven't had the closure you need," he offers and I blink at him confused by his words.

" What do you mean?" I ask staring at our hands linked together.

" You're an artist Brooke, and artists use their emotions. The good and the bad, to express what they feel. Maybe you need to do that." I stare at him for a minute, blinking owlishly. Of course, why didn't I think of that? Oh I know why, because when I think about Michael and my emotions, I get over run by the latter and all I want to do is crawl into a rather large, dark hole and spend the rest of my life there, forgetting that Michael ever existed.

" Maybe your right," I murmur shrugging my shoulders.

" I am right," he jokes, making me laugh as he pulls me next to him. I lay my head on his shoulder and smile allowing myself to finally fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

I wake slowly my eyes burning slightly from the bright light.

" Morning," a soft voice calls out to me scaring me and I sit up so quickly that my head spins. I press my palm to my forehead and look up to find Michael standing next to me, a soft smile on his face as he holds a mug and stares at me. I roll my eyes moving to slide off the couch, " Brooke, are you ever going to talk to me again?"

" I don't know, are you still engaged?" I ask trying to brush past him.

" Brooke that isn't fair," he whispers his hand gripping my arm. I stare at him, the pent up frustration, and hurt slowly burning inside of me until finally I snap.

" No, you want to know what isn't fair Michael?" I ask, pulling my arm roughly from his hold, " What isn't fair is you telling me that we cant talk anymore. That you were walking away, because you didn't want to hurt me anymore, even after I confessed that I was completely and whole heartedly in love with you. Then one day you started talking to me again, and I felt like I had a chance Michael. A chance to get back the one person that makes everything okay again. I spent hours getting ready, and like a fool I showed up at that dinner, and waited for you, only to have you show up, with her, and announce that your getting married. So you know what, I don't care if I'm not being fair. I don't. You did this Michael. Not me. You made your choice. I'm living with it, and it's about damn time that you start doing the same." The breath hitches out of me when I hear a soft whimper from over Michael's shoulder. I raise my head and see Margot, Blake, and Tatiana standing, staring at the scene before them. I look from face to face, lingering over the tears that fall steadily down Tatiana's face.

" We are done Michael. I cant. I will not do this anymore. I refuse to spend the rest of my life wishing that things could be different between us. As far as I am concerned, after today, there isn't a single word left to be spoken between us, got it? Don't ever talk to me again." I push past him, his face a picture of stunned pain as I race off the bus.

* * *

I stare in the bathroom mirror, wincing at my red rimmed and puffy eyes, the mess that is my hair, and curse that still Michael gets to me. When he looks at me I still get the butterflies, the tingles still race up my spine, and every time he opens his mouth all I can hear is him announcing that he is marrying her. Is there something about me? Am I not good enough? Is my entire life meant to spent alone. I knew love, came so close to it only to have it pulled away from me. Did I do something to deserve this feeling of complete and utter loneliness and abandonment? I grasp the sink my knuckles going white as the anger and pain overwhelms me and I let out an earsplitting scream as I punch the mirror, glass shattering as stabs of white hot pain surges through my hand and wrist.

" Brooke!" a panicked Margot calls to me through the locked door and I gasp as I watch the blood flow down my arm, staining the sink and floor below me, " Brooke, open the door, please." I don't listen to the pleading words, instead I'm completely captivated by the crimson stream running down my arm. I hardly flinch when the door crashes open, Blake and Margot cursing rabidly as they look at me.

" Brooke, what did you do?" Margot asks, cradling me in her arms as Blake strips his shirt off and wraps it tightly around my wrist. I stare at Blake, his eyes sad, and the emotion swirling in them snaps something inside of me. The burning tears start flooding down my cheeks as I sob hysterically in Margot's arms.

" It was supposed to be me," I cry, curling into a tight ball, trying anything that I can to stave off the incessant pain, " He was the only one who could make everything okay again." I close my eyes, letting Blake lift me into his arms.

" It's going to be okay Brooke," Blake murmurs as he carries me to my dressing room, pressing his lips to my head, " I promise." The thing is, what he says isn't true. It will never be okay again. How could it be?

* * *

Sixteen. Sixteen stitches is what I got from my temper tantrum. Not to mention a broken mirror that I will have to replace. I stare down at my gauze covered hand and wrist, wondering just how I'm going to cover this one up. I look up when there is a soft knock on the door and stare in surprise when I see Olivia, her eyes shining at me.

" Liv? What, how, when?" I ask rushing up out of my seat to grab her into a tight hug.

" Well, they have these amazing things now called airplanes, so I got on one of those fancy flying machines and decided to come see my best friend," Olivia jokes dryly holding me at arms length, " To be honest, Paris just wasn't for me, B. I couldn't stand most of my classmates, not to mention the fact that I missed the hell out of my best friend. And I may have heard through the grapevine that the girl I love is having a rough go of it on the road."

" Who called you? Margot? Blake? Oh God let me guess, it was Michael? See even now when things are a mess all because of him mind you, he still muddles in business that does not concern him," I rant stopping only Olivia laughs loudly and happily, " What could possibly be so funny?"

" You. It wasn't any of those people who called me Brooke," she says, sitting down on the couch while I brace myself against the counter.

" Oh well," I say taking a deep breath, " Then who did?"

" Caleb," she says nonchalantly, and I nod my head slowly. Of course leave it up to my brother to meddle, " Has it really been that bad?"

" No," I lie, and I know that she knows too, so before she can reprimand me on my lack of lying skills, " When I'm onstage, or rehearsing, or doing interviews and meeting fans, it isn't so bad. I don't have the time to think about the pain then you know? Its when everything is quiet, and its just me, and time to think, that's when it gets bad."

" Okay, Brooke, you know I love you right? So when I say this, you cant hate me," she says clasping her hands in front of her, " You are being incredibly stupid. You love Michael. I know that you do. I saw it from the very beginning. He helped heal you Brooke. Before Michael came along I was worried that you were forever going to be afraid to let other people in. You need to be happy, and Michael makes you happy. He's in love with you Brooke."

" He loves Tatiana Liv," I say sitting down next to her.

" That very well may be true, but he isn't in love with her," she says wrapping a reassuring arm around my shoulder drawing me close to her so that my head is resting on her shoulder.

" How did my life become such a mess Livy?" I whisper, closing my eyes tightly against the pain, " It wasn't supposed to be this way. The damndest part of it all is, I have no one to blame but myself."

* * *

The show went on that night, as scheduled. Despite the fire that erupted under my skin, sending throbbing pain through my arm, I played and did what I loved to do. I stare out of the window of the hotel, watching the night life go one below me. Couples walking arm in arm, college crowds racing from bar to bar. All of it so normal. Yet, I feel so disconnected from all of it. Like I'm floating somewhere above it all, away from the people, the noise. I should consider myself lucky, to have a few days in one city, instead of having to climb back onto the bus right after a show and head for the next town. I get a real bed, a bath tub the size of Texas, what more could a girl want? I continue to look down at the lights of downtown Pittsburgh and know that somewhere in the vast expanse of this city, Michael's there. With her. Dancing with a group of people, or perhaps they are taking a romantic stroll together. I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath, and turn towards the sound of someone knocking on my door.

I shuffle forward, looking through the peephole and find Olivia and Blake in the hall. I open the door slowly and smile when I see how nice they look.

" Why aren't you dressed yet?" Olivia asks, floating past me in her black mini dress and sky high stilettos.

" I'm not going," I say, closing the door behind them, bracing my back against it.

" What do you mean your not going? You have too," Blake says, brushing a hand over his dark washed jeans.

" No I don't. I don't feel like going out and being surrounded by people okay?" I snap out, running my hands through my hair, " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, but I just, I'm not feeling social all right? I just, I want to be alone."

" Are you sure, I mean I know I look fabulous and all, but I can forego the throngs of hotties to stay in my best friend. We can order in, get some ice cream, bash boys, sorry Blake," Olivia says, brushing a hand over his shoulder, " Order movies on the T.V." I smile lightly, knowing full well that Olivia would do just that. She'd wash off her make-up, exchange her pretty party dress for pajamas and stay here with me, all I would have to do is ask her to. But I wont. I shake my head hugging her.

" No Livy, you deserve to go out, have a good time okay? I will see you guys in the morning. I'm just going to take a bubble bath, and go to sleep," I say ushering them to the door.

" You sure?" she asks turning back to look at me.

" Yeah, absolutely. And if I change my mind I'll text you okay?" I say, pushing her through the door.

" You better," she calls back to me happily as she links arms with Blake and they walk away.

* * *

I sit up gasping for air as I search the darkness of my hotel room. Damn it. Another nightmare. Well, I guess for most people it wouldn't be considered a nightmare. In fact, thinking about it, it wasn't a nightmare at all. It was the opposite, which is what made it that much more painful. I rub at the incessant ache in my chest. The longing that has tears clouding my eyes. I shake my head, leaning over to flip on the light switch, blinking wildly as I look around. It had all seemed so real. I pull my knee's to my chest as I think back over the dream. It was of Michael. All of my dreams are about him. Only this one was different than my other one's. The other dreams were like pleasant albeit heartbreaking walks down memory lane, where this one was nothing more than a look at what life would have been like for me and him had things been different. I shake my head slowly, trying to clear the dream from my head but it doesn't work. Instead Michael's big brown eyes stay implanted on my mind. I climb out of my bed and pick up my guitar, deciding to take Blake's advice. I need to use my gift to find the closure I need, and if I don't get closure out of this, then at least I get to say what I need to say.

_So that's what I did, I wrote. Wrote it all out on paper, everything that I had to say, wanted to say, needed to say. It was the only way to make the pain go away. _


	30. Chapter 30: Left Unsaid

**Author's Note: The song used in this chapter is Colbie Caillet's I Never Told You. Its an amazing song that seemed so fitting. I did however change some of the lyrics just to make it fit a bit better. No copyright infringement intended! Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**Chapter 30: Left Unsaid **

_" Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid."-Fyodor Dostoyevsky _

* * *

I sit in the make up chair, my eyes closed, head tipped back with Ray Charles blaring on my I-pod. Tonight is a big show, not to say that every other show I've done hasn't been big. This one is big for another reason. I heard from Liv, who heard from Caleb, that every night, every show, Michael stands in the wings and watches me perform. It was with this new knowledge that I made the decision to do what I was getting ready to do. I stare at myself in the mirror and take a deep breath, trying to center myself.

" Knock, knock," Liv calls from the doorway of the dressing room, " Hey girl." I turn and smile softly, hugging her when she crosses the room.

" How are you feeling?" she asks, and I shrug my shoulder lightly as she readjusts the strap on my flowing pale green dress.

" Scared," I whisper, cursing the fact that tears cloud my eyes.

" You don't have to do this you know, we still have a few minutes, we can change you to your normal outfit," she says giving my shoulder a slight squeeze.

" I know, but I have to. I have to get this out Liv, if I don't," I say trailing off when Margot rushes into the room.

" Brooke, your on," Margot says raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at me before ushering me from the room. I walk through the backstage, my heart hammering in my chest as I take my guitar from one of the stagehands.

" You ready?" Margot asks and I nod slightly letting out a deep breath as I step onstage. I walk steadily, my feet carrying me to center stage. I smile as the crowd roars and clear my throat before talking.

" Hey ya'll," I say, sending up a silent thank you that my voice comes out strong, " I uh, I wrote a new song last night, and I'd like to sing it for all of you. It's a song for someone very special. It's my own way of saying, I'm sorry. So here we go." I pull my guitar over my shoulder and smile as the crowd roars wildly.

' _I miss those brown eyes, _

_The way you kissed me that night, _

_I miss the way we'd sleep. _

_Like there's no sunrise _

_Like the taste of your smile _

_I miss the way we breathe._

_But I never told you, _

_What I should have said_

_No, I never told you,_

_I just held it in. _

_And now, _

_I miss everything about you_

_Can't believe that I still want you_

_And after all the things we've been through _

_I miss everything about you_

_Without you_

_I see your brown eyes_

_Everytime I close mine_

_You make it hard to see_

_Where I belong to_

_When I'm not around you_

_It's like I'm alone with me_

_But I never told you_

_What I should have said_

_No, I never told you_

_I just held it in. _

_And now, _

_I miss everything about you_

_(But still your gone)_

_Cant believe that I still want you_

_(I'm still in love with you, cant believe I walked away)_

_And after all the things we've been through_

_(I know it's never going to come again)_

_I miss everything about you _

_Without you_

_But I never told you_

_What I should have said _

_No, I never told you_

_I just held it in. _

_And now, _

_I miss everything about you_

_Cant believe that I still want you_

_And after all the things we've been through_

_I miss everything about you_

_Without you.'_

* * *

It wasn't until the music died and the single spotlight hung over me, bathing me in its heat that I realized tears were streaming down my face. No amount of applause, and people chanting my name could replace the feeling of emptiness as I turned my head and found Michael, staring at me, his brown eyes shining as tears cascade down his perfect face running over his skin, clinging to his lips. I smile sadly, before bowing slightly and walking off stage, brushing past him. I fight the urge to turn back. To grab his face in my hands, wipe away his tears and tell him that I'm sorry. Sorry for being so stubborn and thickheaded, sorry for letting things get in the way when in reality all that mattered to me was him and me. Instead, I continue walking, looking back only once to find Tatiana comforting the man I love, and its in this moment, in the time it takes for my heart to beat just once for me to realize that I was too late.

I don't know how much time has passed, as I lay staring unblinking at the roof of the tour bus, tears steadily streaming and staining my pillow. I couldn't talk to anyone after my surprise song, not that I didn't want to, I did. I just didn't trust myself to say what needed to be said without breaking down and completely losing what little control I have left inside of me.

" You love him don't you?" a soft voice whispers through the dark tour bus and I look over slowly, finding Tatiana standing against the far wall, her eyes shining in the filtered moonlight. I clench my jaw tightly, swallowing the words of bitterness that scald the back of my throat.

" Yes, I do," I murmur, sitting up slowly, swinging my legs over the side of my bunk and jumping down, landing lightly, " But it doesn't really matter, because he chose you."

" It isn't what you think Brooke," she says, her voice tight with pain as she wraps her arms tightly around herself.

" You know I'm getting tired of hearing that Tatiana," I say my voice hot with anger.

" But its true Brooke, I never meant for this, any of this to happen. Did I think I was in love with Michael, yes, I did. When I first came back I thought that I would be coming back to the same Michael I knew years ago, but I didn't. He had you, and for the first time in as long as I can remember I saw Michael smile, really smile, and its when he was talking about you that I saw the smile. But things got, complicated," she says as she sits heavily at the table. I sit across from her, staring at the clear and naked pain on her face.

" Complicated?" I ask, watching her cautiously.

" I'm pregnant Brooke," she says and her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Pregnant. With Michael's baby. This just gets better and better. As if I didn't need something else to feel horrible about.

" Wow, pregnant. Michael must be thrilled," I say my voice razor sharp with cynicism. Suddenly my sarcasm and anger drains away when she shakes her head sadly.

" It isn't Michael's baby," she whispers and I stare at her, shocked.

" Does he know that?" I ask, and to my surprise she nods her head.

" I was with someone. He was, perfect at first, at least, I thought that he was, but I learned quickly that he wasn't. He hit me, a lot. The night that Michael sprung the big engagement I showed up at his apartment, bruised and bloody, shaking like a leaf and I told him everything. Told him I was pregnant, and that the father was abusive and I was scared. Michael is doing this for me, for me and my baby. I protested, because I know he's in love with you, but he wouldn't listen to me," she says, wiping delicate hands over her face. All of the anger I felt towards her disappeared, because in this moment I realized that this truly wasn't her fault. She wasn't some ghost from Michael's past come to steal away my one chance at true love, instead she was a woman, a broken woman, who's best friend was offering her a way out.

" Tatiana, I'm sorry, for everything," I say, shaking my head, cutting her off as she opens her mouth to stop me from apologizing, " My behavior has been ridiculous and I'm sorry for that. But, if marrying Michael means that you and your baby will be safe, I wont get in the way of that."

" I'm not marrying Michael, Brooke. I broke off the engagement tonight," she cries, " I had to. After that song you sang, it just, it wasn't right for me to stand between the two of you. You guys were made for each other, I believe that. I wont be on tour much longer, there have been a few complications, I leave first thing in the morning. Can I just give you one word of advice. Don't hold any of this against him, he was just trying to help," I nod my head slowly as she gets up and starts walking away, she looks over her shoulder, " He's hurting Brooke, a lot."

" Tatiana, wait," I say getting up, walking towards her. I hug her closely, blinking my eyes madly to stop the tears, " Take care of yourself, and your baby. If you need anything, I'll be here for you."

" Thank you Brooke," she whispers walking off the bus to leave me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

I stand outside of Michael's hotel room, my heart slamming into my throat as I debate on whether or not to knock. I take a deep breath and lift my hand and knock, the sound of my hand against the wood echoing down the hallway. I take a step back, butterflies fluttering wildly inside of me as I wait for the door to open. I look up slowly when the door slides open, Michael leaning against the door, his face smooth as he stares at me. I fiddle with my fingers, and smile lightly.

" Hi," I whisper, and before I can say anything more he steps forward wrapping his arms around me tightly.

" Hi," Michael whispers back pulling me into his room.


	31. Chapter 31: Letting Go

**Author's Note: Read/Enjoy/Review! P.S It's kind of steamy ;)**

**Chapter 31: Letting Go**

" **Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go."- Kate Winslet**

* * *

I stand in the corner of Michael's suite, staring at him as he shoves his hands into his pocket, looking back at me as silence fills the small expanse between us.

" I guess Tatiana told you," Michael says slowly, his voice low.

" Yeah," I say nodding my head slowly wiping the palms of my hands against my jeans. " Why didn't you tell me?"

" I didn't know how too, and aside from that, she swore me to secrecy. I couldn't betray her Brooke," he says his voice as calm as he can keep it.

" Oh, but you could just spring an engagement on me like its nothing? I understand that you guys are friends Michael, that you and Tatiana go way back, but what about me? Did I mean so little to you? Did you just not care enough about what it would do to me?" I ask, my voice betraying my bottled up emotion.

" Damn it Brooke! Of course I cared. It killed me don't you get it? Every time I heard you cry yourself to sleep at night, it killed me. Every word left unspoken between us, killed me. It devastated me Brooke, to walk away from you," he says throwing his hands in the air letting out a groan of frustration, " I had convinced myself, after you got out of the hospital that you deserved better than me, so I walked away. But I was lying to myself Brooke. I couldn't do it. I was going to tell you that night, when I asked if you were going to the dinner, I was going to tell you how incredibly stupid I was, but then Tatiana showed up, and she was bruised, and crying, and she needed my help. But I never, never wanted to hurt you Brooke. Ever. And now it doesn't matter. Because I cant fix things between us, no matter how hard I try and Tatiana is leaving." I stare at him, my heart hammering wildly inside of me as I watch the man I love slowly and steadily break down.

I cross the room silently, wrapping my arms around him. I let out a soft sigh when he clutches onto me, one hand cupping the back of my neck the other wrapped tightly around my waist. I bury my face into his neck, breathing in his cologne, smiling despite the situation I find myself in.

" Brooke," he murmurs, pulling away to stare down at me. The breath catches in my throat when I see his eyes glaze over slightly as he lowers his face closer to mine. Our lips brush, testing, teasing until we sink fully into the moment. I break the kiss slowly, opening my eyes to stare at him.

" Michael, we cant, we cant do this," I whisper even as my hands squeeze his shoulder.

" Why can't we?" He asks, brushing his fingers along the column of my neck.

" Because there's," I trail off closing my eyes as a soft chill courses over my skin, " There's still so much that we need to talk about, figure out."

" We have all the time in the world Brooke," he murmurs against my ear as he rains kisses along my jaw, " Right now, right now I just want to show you. I want to show you what you mean to me. Let me show you, please."

* * *

I float fluidly back, my naked skin heated with nervousness as Michael looks down at me his hands braced against the mattress.

" Brooke, we dont have to do this," Michael whispers, pressing his lips against my forehead.

" I know," I say, " I want to do this. I trust you Michael. I trust you." I close my eyes when he smiles down at me, waiting for the flash of pain, the terror of the act that I'm commiting. Instead there isn't any of that. Pain, terror. Instead, I'm filled with Michael, with love. I moan lightly, my eyes flashing open when the feelings wash over.

" Are you okay? I can stop," he pants, and I shake my head trying hard to stifle the laughter.

" Don't stop," I murmur, smiling when I lift my hand to cup his face, " I love you Michael. I am so completely, undeniably in love with you." I lift my face to his, kissing him fiercely as I hitch my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside of me, smiling satisfyingly when I draw a deep moan from his throat. Its starts slow, the pace comforting as our connected bodies move together fluidly, but then the pace picks up, a flash of heat passing through both of us as our hands race over each other. His back is slick with sweat, and the taste of it is salty as I press my lips against his shoulder.

" Michael," I call out breathlessy when his hands seek mine, his face pressed in my neck as we hold onto each other and shatter together.

* * *

I lay next to Michael, my head pillowed on his chest as his long fingers run through my hair. Silence settles over the room, the only noise I can seem to hear clearly is Michael's heart beat.

" Are you okay?" Michael murmurs, and I smile as I turn my face into his chest before lifting it to smile up at him.

" I'm better than okay, I'm great," I say snuggling back into him. I settle back into the silence, content in the moment, until someone comes to mind. Somewhere out there, Tatiana is alone, and scared. I sit up quickly realizing the monumental mistake I just made. " Oh my God. Oh. Oh we shouldn't have done this." I slip out of the bed fumbling to find my clothes.

" Brooke, what's the matter?" he asks his voice tight with concern as he clutches the sheet to his body.

" This was a mistake," I say fighting bubbling hysteria.

" No it wasnt Brooke," he says jumping from the bed tying the sheet around his waist, snagging my hand in his pulling me against him in a tight hug, " It was beautiful, and wonderful. You love me, and I love you, how could this be a mistake?"

" Because Tatiana is scared and alone, and as much as she wants to say and believe that she isn't in love with you Michael, she is," I say hugging him tightly wishing I didn't have to let go.

" Tatiana has nothing to do with this, with us Brooke. I don't love her. I love you. It's you Brooke, only you. Your it for me, dont you see that?" he asks holding me at arms length.

" Michael, you have to go find Tatiana. She needs you. When she came and told me everything I realized for the first time how fragile she looks, how scared, and alone. I know what it's like to feel that way Michael. She needs you. I just, I wanted to come and see. Just once. To tell you, that I'm sorry. For the way I've behaved, for the things I've said. To tell you I miss you. Not just the Michael I fell in love with, but I miss my best friend," I say blinking madly as the tears burn my eyes and constrict my throat, : I didn't come here for this. This shouldn't have happened."

" Brooke, God I've missed you so much. Don't, don't let this get in the way of us. I believe there can be an us, I had given up hope but then you wrote that song. That's our song. I knew it the moment you started singing it. Don't walk away from me now Brooke," he says growing breathless as he pleads.

" Michael, I'm not walking away, but I don't think there can be an us. So much has happened, so fast, and right now, you need to get up and find Tatiana, stop her from leaving, beg, plead, hell marry her tonight if you have too. She doesn't deserve to be scared and alone," I say hugging him tightly, " Please Michael. Go to her." I blink furiously as I untangle myself from his hold and walk towards the door, my hand hesitating on the handle when Michael's soft voice whispers my name.

" Brooke," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion as I turn and look at him, tears rolling swiftly down my cheeks, " I'm always going to love you. Please, don't go." I smile shakily, walking out of his room. I make it half way down the hall before I press my back to the wall, wrapping my arms tightly around myself, shaking with the sobs that I cant hold back anymore. I slide down against the wall, dropping my head to my knee's gripping my hair as I rock back and forth. I could have had him back, he could have been mine, should be mine, but I let him go. How could I be so stupid?


	32. Chapter 32: Two Is Better Than One

**Author's Note: Okay, so I decided to just finish posting all of this story since I didn't have anything else to do, and there weren't too many more chapters to go. But don't you worry this isn't the way I'm leaving it. There is a sequal in the works! I hope you all enjoyed TIBTO. Again a HUGE THANK YOU to all of the people who read and reviewed. MichaelJacksonFan227, jonasjacksonheart14, and toobad4mj2005 that means you! Stay tuned for The Sequal of Two Is Better Than One. Life Starts Now. Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**P.S The song used in this chapter is Through The Tree's by Low Shoulder. I know, I know a dude sings the song, but it was fitting so in my magical world of make believe its Brooke's voice singing it :) No Copyright Infringement intended :D**

**Chapter 32: Two Is Better Than One**

_" But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life, and you've already got me coming undone, and I'm thinking two is better than one."- Boys Like Girls and Taylor Swift._

* * *

I sit in my dressing room, a sense of sadness falling over me. Tour is coming to an end. As quickly as it started, the dread I felt in thinking that it would seem like a lifetime process, is almost over. 18 months have come and gone. A whirlwind of emotions, and a million other things. My twentieth birthday, my twenty-first birthday. Caleb my adorable little brother, and Liv my amazing best friend, dating and getting engaged. Blake, caring, understanding, dependable Blake getting his chance to step into the limelight and show off that he has more talent than just what he can do with a guitar. The birth of Tatiana and Michael's baby. A beautiful little girl, Talia, with her caramel colored skin, and hazel eyes. Of course, as far as I knew, I was the only one who knows the truth about Talia. That Michael isn't her biological father. That's a secret I will take with me to the grave. As for me and Michael. We're friends, in the loosest sense of the term. We're cordial with each other. I suppose part of me is bitter that he didn't fight harder for me, while he's bitter because I so easily let him go. That's just it though, I didn't let him go easily. It was single handedly the most painful thing that I have ever had to do. But I did it for the right reasons. Tatiana needed him. Plain and simple. I groan, rubbing my palms over my eyes. Doesn't matter now. They'll be married in a week. A week. Seven days and any hope that I bothered to hold onto for Michael and me will completely disappear, and what we had will become nothing more than a memory.

" Brooke," a soft voice calls out to me and I lift my head seeing Liv and Caleb both standing behind me.

" Hey guys," I say turning to look at them.

" Your almost up for your final song," Caleb says stepping forward to wrap me into a tight hug. I linger for a second, realizing just how much I have taken him and his never ending patience and support for granted.

" Thanks," I murmur turning to look in the mirror, double checking my make-up, lightly smudging my black eyeliner.

" Caleb, can you give us a second?" Liv asks running a hand lightly over his shoulder.

" Of course, see you out there sister," he says pressing a tender kiss to Liv's hair before turning to leave.

" How are you holding up?" Liv asks looking at me over my shoulder, her eyes boring into mine as if she can see into my very soul.

" I'm okay. Sad," I say, lifting my hands up restlessly, " I didn't want to do this tour. With everything that was going on at the time, with me and Michael, but I'm going to miss it. Really miss it." She hugs me sweetly, not saying a word. And its in this silence, while I stand with my best friend that I realize, everything will be okay.

* * *

I take the stage, my guitar slung over my shoulder and I smile when the crowd roars loudly, chanting my name. My unsteady nerves completely melting away as the music swells around me, inside me, out of me.

' _All alone in an empty room_

_Nothing left but the memories of when I had my best friend,_

_I don't know how we ended up here, _

_I don't know but its never been so clear_

_We made a mistake, dear._

_And I see the broken glass in front of me_

_I see your shadow hanging over me_

_And your face, I can see…._

_Through the trees_

_I will find you;_

_I will heal the ruins left inside you_

_Cus I'm still breathing now…_

_I'm still here breathing now…._

_I'm still here breathing now…_

_Until I'm set free…_

_Go quiet through the trees._

_I remember how we used to talk_

_About the places we would go when we were off_

_And all that we were gonna find. _

_And I remember our seeds grow_

_And how you cried when you saw_

_The first leaves show._

_The love was pouring from your eyes._

_So can you see_

_The branches hanging over me?_

_Can you see_

_The love you left inside of me?_

_In my face_

_Can you see?_

_Through the trees_

_I will find you;_

_I will heal the ruins left inside you_

_Cus I'm still breathing now…_

_I'm still here breathing now…._

_I'm still here breathing now…_

_Until I'm set free…_

_Go quiet through the trees._

_Cus you're not coming back…_

_And you're not coming back…_

_No, No, No_

_You're not coming back_

_You're not coming back_

_Take my breath as your own…._

_Take my eyes to guide you home…._

_But you're not coming back…._

_And you're not coming back…._

_Cus you're not coming back…._

_Until I'm set free…._

_Go quiet through the tree's.'_

* * *

I smile wildly as I take my final bow and all but skip off stage jumping into Blake's arms letting him swing me around and away from the crowd. We walk silently together heading for my dressing room, hands linked when we run into Michael and Tatiana, who's arms are full with Talia. My smile falters slightly, my heart slamming into my throat.

" Brooke, Blake," Michael says, his voice tight as his eyes wander down to me and Blake's linked hands.

" Hi, erm, I guess this is it huh?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady as I look into his eyes. He nods slowly, his brown eyes swimming with emotion.

" Well, I have to go change Talia, uhm, Blake, can you help me for a second?" Tatiana asks, her voice light as she eyes Michael and me, trying to send a silent signal that we need time alone.

" Oh, yeah, okay," Blake stammers, squeezing my hand lightly before letting it go, following closely behind Tatiana and a squirming, babbling Talia. Michael and I watch each other, our eyes searching each others faces. I open my mouth, trying to think of what to say.

" So you and Blake huh?" Michael suddenly asks, shoving long fingered hands into his pockets.

" What about me and Blake?" I ask, my voice coming out harsher than I intend and I wince when I see the quick flash of pain wash over his face.

" You two are together aren't you? I mean your inseparable," he says, his voice slightly accusatory.

" No we aren't together Michael, and I don't see why it would matter even if we were. Your with Tatiana. Your getting married in seven days, remember?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

" You could have put a stop to that Brooke," he snaps out and I feel as if he backhanded me, his words are that painful to hear, " You left remember? After what we shared that night, that beautiful, wonderful moment, and you left, not me."

" You think I don't know that Michael? That I kick myself every single damn day, that I walked away? I thought you were going to fight for me Michael, how stupid of me," I hiss pushing past him trying to get away from him as quickly as I can. He grabs my arm spinning me around to face him.

" You should have fought for me too Brooke. Your not one hundred percent innocent in this!" he exclaims and I blink wildly trying my hardest to not let the tears slip down my cheeks.

" I know okay Michael! I know! Is that what you want to hear? I was stupid Michael. Stupid to not only know what I know, but to tell you to go back. I'm sorry that I have a heart, and the idea of Tatiana being alone, and pregnant, and scared wasn't something that I could stomach. I'm even more sorry now, because as much as I know that what I did was the right thing, my heart is breaking, every single day. I miss you Michael. What more do you want from me?" I ask, my voice choked as the inevitable tears start spilling down my face. And before I can react, turn away, run, he pulls me close, his lips capturing mine. I melt for just a second. For a moment I'm taken back to the upstairs bedroom in Neverland, when he kissed me for the first and only time. One hand clutches the front of his blue button up shirt, the other holding the back of his neck, while his hands bury themselves in my dark hair. As quickly as the moment starts it ends when flashes of Tatiana and Talia flash before my closed eyes and I pull away, staring at him with big eyes.

" You shouldn't have done that," I whisper stepping away from him.

" I know," he murmurs and I shake my head slowly, turn and run, the sound of Michael calling my name echoing inside of my head.

* * *

I sit in my dressing room, silence falling over me as I blindly fold and pack. Most everyone is gone now. Caleb and Liv to their new apartment, Margot going home to her husband. And me? I'm alone. It's what I've wanted for a while now, or so I thought. Instead the silence is deafening as I blink furiously against the raging emotions threatening to pour down my face. Will I ever be free of Michael, of the love I have for him? Will there ever come a day when he isn't the one who is holding my heart in the palm of his hand? Or am I cursed. Cursed to a lifetime of loneliness from knowing that the one person I want and love, wants and loves another? I sit back on my heels, burying my face into my hands and cry. My shoulders wracking with the silent sobs. I'm left with nothing but memories. Memories of that one amazing night when I was completely filled with Michael, with the love that we shared, and I walked away from it all.

I jump slightly when I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up through blurry eyes to find Blake, with his shaggy brown hair and shining green eyes staring down at me before he sits beside me, pulling me into his arms. I cry it out, my hot tears burning through the thin material of his shirt as he holds me, silently cradling me against him, stroking strong, steady hands down my hair. He offers no condolences, there are no words of mercy or half-hearted shushes. Instead he offers a silent strength. A strength that I need. Slowly the ache lessens, going from a roaring fire inside of me that threatens to consume, to a dull pain. I look up at Blake, a small smile on his lips as I pull away, wiping hands shakily over my cheeks and straightening my shirt.

" Your always here Blake. Just about everything I have been through in the last eighteen months you've been here," I say, my voice hoarse as I shake my head slowly, " Why?"

" Nobody should ever be alone Brooke, especially someone like you," Blake says getting to his feet, extending a hand to me, " Besides, two is better than one."


End file.
